YouTube claims this is NSFW and made me sign in to watch it, but aside from some swearing, I’m not sure what’s so NSFW about it.  Oh my God, cartoons having sex that they don’t show with no nudity! Hide the children and put a helmet on the dog!!  Anyway, it comes from some dude named Harry Partridge and is sponsored by Newgrounds, whatever that means.   It’s not the actual Na’avi tentacle sex scene from the script, but I’m not ashamed to say that it made me laugh a lot.  Still, I’m not convinced the actual scene wouldn’t have been just as funny.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some soup to drink.  Vagina soup.

(Hand soup)

[via GorillaMask]

(“Yes, Jake Sully, jump on my leonopteryx!”)

I’ve been trying to turn “rape the pterodactyl” into the next “keep f*ckin that chicken” for a few weeks now, but I confess it hasn’t really caught on.  But the full Avatar script just showed up online, complete with the deleted TENTACLE SEX SCENE, and two of my predictions have been confirmed: the Na’avi’s sensitive tails (or “queues” as James Cameron calls them) are definitely sexual, and this is the beginning of a new era in fetish porn.  Excerpt via Movieline:

EXT. WILLOW GLADE

He puts his face close to hers. She rubs her cheek against his. He kisses her on the mouth. They explore each other.

Then she pulls back, eyes sparkling.

NEYTIRI
Kissing is very good. But we have something better.

She pulls him down until they are kneeling, facing each other on the faintly glowing moss. Neytiri takes the end of her queue and raises it. Jake does the same, with trembling anticipation. The tendrils at the ends move with a life of their own, straining to be joined.

MACRO SHOT — The tendrils INTERTWINE with gentle undulations.

JAKE rocks with the direct contact between his nervous system and hers. The ultimate intimacy.

They come together into a kiss and sink down on the bed of moss, and ripples of light spread out around them.

THE WILLOWS sway, without wind, and the night is alive with pulsing energy as we DISSOLVE TO —

LATER. She is collapsed across his chest. Spent. He strokes her face tenderly.

JAKE
Neytiri, you know my real body is far away, sleeping.

She raises up, placing her fingertips to his chest —

NEYTIRI
This body is real.
(she touches his forehead)
This spirit is real.

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After the tranny picture from earlier I can see how a person might’ve read this headline and thought I meant testicles, but I was actually just trying to combine the words “CGI” and “eyeballs.”  Haha, good story, Vince.  Anyway, this is the new poster for James Cameron’s Avatar, featuring Zoe Saldana and her CGI-embiggened eyeballs as Neytiri, a member of the Na’vi race of blue aliens.  See, the blue aliens catch the red aliens invading their turf, so they’re all like, “Hey, what do ju putos theenk you’re doin, ése?  Thees ees our planet, homes,” and then they have a big dance/knife fight.  I mean, I think that’s what happens.  I don’t really know, I didn’t go to Comic Con.  

Avatar opens December 18th and features a mix of 3D live-action and CGI that’s either “universe shattering” or “meh, it’s okay I guess” depending on whom you ask.

[via FilmSchoolRejects]