New York Times chief film critic A.O. Scott, which I choose to believe stands for Artichoke Octagon, is among the first of journalism’s heavy hitters acting as the clap to break the eventual avalanche of year-end filler stories and lists (including my very own UPROXX Persons of the Year and Worst Movies of 2012). Scott’s main piece – which is so big that it even warranted the Times interviewing its own writer about it – focuses on the rise of the “Hollywood Heroine”, as he believes that 2012 was a particularly strong year for powerful female characters, including Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman and Scarlett Johannsson’s Black Widow, among others.

But Scott also purchased himself a seat on the Channing Tatum A-List bandwagon, which Vince and I take full credit for now that his stock is through the roof, and the N.Y. Times magazine is calling our boy C-Tates one of this year’s Memorable Men. That’s not quite as big as GQ naming him the Movie Star of the Year, and it’s certainly not as monumental as People dubbing him the Sexiest Man Alive, but it’s still nice that this year’s $500 million man is being noticed for his acting.

Haha, just kidding, it’s about his abs.

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Here’s Brad Pitt in a super short film featuring him dressed as Henry Spencer from David Lynch’s 1978 film, Eraserhead. To be honest, I’m not really sure what the point of this was. It must be weird being so famous that you can film yourself combing your hair in a different way and it gets covered by the New York Times.

[Apparently it was part of a whole series of contemporary actors "embodying" (dressing up as) cinematic villains from years past. Here's Baby Goose and George Clooney, for instance. They're... pretty boring, actually.]

Not to be outdone, here’s Harrison Ford in “Staplerhead.”:

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Haha, cool video, bro. 

I think the funniest part about this is that it came from the New York Times.

Oh sure, James Franco making out with himself is New York Times-worthy, but me getting to third base with myself gets me thrown off public access.  Hypocrites.

Well, now all the nonbelievers can finally add Disheveled Joaquin Phoenix to their list of imaginary holiday figures -Casey Affleck has officially revealed to the New York Times that his upcoming Joaquin Phoenix fecal party, I’m Still Here, is actually just a piece of performance art. Shocking, I know. And for all three of the people who just genuinely gasped, I’d like you to drink some of this Kool-Aid.

*hands over leather canteen*

In a series of e-mails that followed a Thursday interview with the paper, Affleck turned all bromo and couldn’t stop praising the star of his film:

“His performance is compelling, always watchable, manages to be repulsive and charming, believable in all emotions, completely committed, incredibly brave,” wrote Mr. Affleck. It must have been “tedious” for Mr. Phoenix, he said. “How difficult to resist the cheap joke, the wink, the nudge.” But, he added: “He has the tools for this. He has the goods in spades.”

“I hope Joaquin gets nominated for all kinds of awards,” wrote Mr. Affleck. “He deserves it.”

Yeah, whatever you say, Casey. He has goods in spades and three in the stink, we get it. When asked about the infamous David Letterman interview, Affleck was adamant that Dave wasn’t in on the gag, but the New York Times posted a link to an article from Nuvo.net where Late Night writer, Bill Scheft, claims Letterman was completely aware the whole time.

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The New York Times did an article on the Brüno movie over the weekend, focussing on the film’s overt political message. Surely it must have one.  Because comedy is propaganda, you see.

Gay groups are reacting with deeply mixed emotions, heightened by the recent triumphs (Iowa) and losses (California) in efforts to legalize gay marriage. Is the film then vulgar, inappropriate and harmful? Or bold, timely and necessary? All of the above?

Why is it any time someone uses the word ‘inappropriate’ I want to make a hole in their throat and poop in it?

Ultimately the tension surrounding “Brüno” boils down to the worry that certain viewers won’t understand that the joke is on them and will leave the multiplex with their homophobia validated [which I've heard you can redeem for free parking].
“Some people in our community may like this movie, but many are not going to be O.K. with it,” said Rashad Robinson, senior director of media programs for GLAAD. “Sacha Baron Cohen’s well-meaning attempt at satire is problematic in many places and outright offensive in others.”
“We strongly feel that Sacha Baron Cohen and Universal Pictures have a responsibility to remind the viewing public right there in the theater that this is intended to expose homophobia,” said Brad Luna, a spokesman for Human Rights Campaign.

We have a right to ensure stupid people aren’t laughing at jokes for the wrong reasons!  Don’t you see? The chicken only braved the dangers of the road because she was fleeing discrimination!

Holding the opposite view are people like Aaron Hicklin, the editor of Out magazine, who said he plans to put Mr. Baron Cohen on the August cover. “The movie does something hugely important, which is showing that people’s attitudes can turn on a dime when they realize you’re gay,” Mr. Hickland said. “The multiplex crowd wouldn’t normally sit down for a two-hour lecture on homophobia, but that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I’m excited about that.”

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