Pretty boring box office this weekend.  The two new big releases were Princess and the Frog and Invictus.  Princess pulled in $25 million for first place, while Clint Eastwood’s Invictus landed in third with a disappointing $9 million.  It’s just that Americans don’t understand foreign countries or foreign sports.  What’s rugby?  How do the children learn to play if Sandra Bullock doesn’t teach them?  It was all a bit confusing for old Clint, who simply blamed the gooks.

Meanwhile, The Blind Side is officially a phenomenon, landing at number two with $15.4 million and passing $150 million overall.  Four weeks in and it’s still playing, while New Moon, which opened the same weekend, has fallen to fourth. It’s even close to passing 2012 in cumulative gross.  Clearly this is a sign that President Obummer should reduce the tax burden on rich white families so that they can afford to adopt more black kids to play football for their alma mater.  What’s the problem?  Everyone wins.

Elsewhere, Old Dogs has made almost $40 million so far and holy crap who is seeing this movie. If it was any more blatantly designed for stupid people, Tom Bergeron would be narrating.  Full top ten below.

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A bye week, that’s what this week felt like.  But the weekend after Thanksgiving is always slow, and even though The Blind Side landed on top with a mediocre $20 million in its third week, business overall was up 21% over last year.  So put that on yr Power Point, Mrs. Potato Dick.

Brothers and Armored were the two new releases, and they earned a not-particularly-noteworthy $9.7 and $6.6 million, respectively.  Fantastic Mr. Fox fell all the way out of the top 10 despite being really good, and I wonder if this is partially my fault for being too lazy to finish a review.  I’m so sorry, you guys. *cutting*

Finally, the other new release this weekend, Transylmania, set a record for the lowest gross ever for a film opening on more than 1,000 screens, earning just $272,000 at 1,002 theaters.

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Variety and Collider have the latest on the Twilight front (yep, there’s one of those now), which is basically that the studio wants to break the final book, Breaking Dawn, into two movies, only they don’t have the logistics worked out yet (they want Chris Weitz to return as director but he’s not signed).  Meanwhile, CHUD provides us with a helpful rundown of just what we’re dealing with with this Breaking Dawn thing, and I promise it’s worth a read:

Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan finally getting married to Edward Cullen. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to f-ck his new bride. The reason: he’s super strong and she’s just a human. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her – and knocks her the f-ck out, leaving her badly bruised.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up.  The baby in Bella’s belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella’s ribs and then severs her spine.

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Probably the only thing more fun than ridiculing Twilight fans is ridiculing Japanese Twilight fans (fat jokes plus racist pidgin speak? I’m in love!).  On that note, here’s a Japanese news segment on the New Moon phenomenon.  The girls say they like it for the hot guys and it’s got your usual Team Jacob vs. Team Edward stuff, but the best parts are the odd translations:

“Please bite me!”

“She wants to be hugged by Jacob.  She imagines his hard-looking muscles will feel soft.”

Well sure, like Hello Kitty muscles.  Seems plausible.  Reached for comment, “That’s really creepy,” said a Japanese businessman through a mouthful of schoolgirl panties while laying out a fine picnic for his expensive f-ck pillow.

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New Moon took the number one spot again this weekend, but with a 70% decline from its huge opening last weekend, it’s not likely to break any more records. A quick fizzle after a fast start is to be expected with an audience that gets tired after a few stairs.  Meanwhile, a close number two, The Blind Side was actually up 17.6% from its opening weekend, sparking legitimate oscar nomination talk for Sandra Bullock from people besides Pete Hammond.  The real tragedy is that I might actually have to see this before I can continue to ridicule it now, and I’m still 85% sure it’s going to suck.  “THAT BOY IS CHANGING YOUR LIFE.”  “NO, I BEG YOUR PARDON BUT I MUST DISAGREE.  IT IS HE THAT IS CHANGING MINE.”

Elsewhere, Old Dogs barely showed up, giving a glimmer of hope that no one will ever make an awful sh-tburger like this ever again.  I can’t even imagine the process under which it got made.  “Okay, we’ve got Robin Williams and John Travolta, great.  Now, let’s stick them with as many awful f-cked out 80s clichés as possible.  Take odd couple, add bachelor-adopts-baby, fold in disastrous business meeting with the Japanese, sprinkle in nutshots beyond all that is rational and… voila!  Dat’s-a tasty a hate crime.”

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