JOSH BROLIN IS A TWO-FACED TWO TIMER

06.03.09 Written by Vince Mancini

These are the latest pictures of Josh Brolin on the set of Jonah Hex, the film based on the comic about a guy who’s a lot like The Outlaw Josey Wales.

Brolin has taken a very hands on role with this picture. He was vocal in attacking it when screenwriters Neveldine and Taylor [Crank 2] were attached to direct, then he appeard to be instrumental in both the hiring of [Horton Hears a Who Co-Director] Jimmy Hayward and John Malkovich, cast as the villain Quentin Turnbull.

Amongst the changes from the Neveldine and Taylor screenplay I’m expecting are some curbing of the bawdy dialogue (”don’t forget to get your dick wet, soldier”)*; the requirement for Leila, Megan Fox’s character to appear naked; and several extreme stylistic conceits (a glob of spit hitting the ground in extreme slow-motion, “EXTREME CLOSEUP: 10,1000 frames per second, FILLING the SCREEN, detonating massively on a micro scale”). [/Film]

The pictures come courtesy of LaineyGossip, who uses them to accompany a very speculative story about whether Brolin’s been cheating on his wife.  I wouldn’t be surprised – he’s in everything lately!  (*fills out Leno writer application*)

*best advice my mom ever gave me

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‘THE GAMER’ LOOKS LUDACRIS

05.11.09 Written by Vince Mancini

Just about every variation of the death-row-inmates-fight-for-their-freedom-in-the-future plot has already been done.  But Gamer is totally new because this time, kids control the death-row inmates like a video game!  Gerard Butler plays the lead.  Gee, I wonder if he’s a former green beret/CIA Agent/Delta Force soldier who was wrongly imprisoned, and who’ll have to take down the game’s mastermind if he ever wants to see his supermodel wife/supermodel girlfriend/supermodel daughter again.

Additionally, according to IMDB, Milo Ventimiglia co-stars as “Rick Rape.”  Rape is the X button in the death row video game.  X rapes, R1 toggles your keistered narcotics, and there’s cheat code for toilet gin.  Toilet gin in turn unlocks “super rape mode.”

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