I know this isn’t strictly movie related, but if you don’t want to hear about Red Shirt Guy aka King of All Nerds from the other day, you can get the hell off my blog.  Red Shirt Guy, who over the weekend shockingly revealed that he has a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome, is now himself a World of Warcaft character.  As confirmed by lead designer Alex Afrasiabi on the WoW forums, “Wildhammer Fact Checker” is now a sidekick to the totally-not-dead Falstad Wildhammer, to accompany him through Aerie Peak in all of his duties as a member of the Council of Three Hammers (which I assume includes snortin’ cocaine and slaying vaginas by the dozen).

The announcement was made in pitch-perfect Warcraft fashion. And by that, I mean it showed up on the WoW forums, a bunch of people called it fake, and then the lead designer showed up to confirm that it was indeed real and made them all look like total n00bz.  Who’s a fake now, F@gzors?  PWNED.

I f*cking love Red Shirt Guy. This is my favorite story since Steven Seagal’s unique physiological reaction to arousal.  Red Shirt Guy is my write-in for governor.  Suck a wiener, Meg Whitman.

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(Olivia’s presence was necessary because we’re talking about geeks and San Francisco and I need to keep my manhood in tact.)

I’m not fully versed in nerd well enough to completely fathom what’s going on here, but I’m going to try my best. Apparently there’s an outfit called Operation Tron, part of a viral marketing effort to cram Tron Legacy into our lives. And tonight in San Francisco, there will be a special “Encom” press conference that will be “interrupted” during an appearance from “Alan Bradley.”

*hits asthma inhaler*

While the fake press conference begins at 8 p.m. PT, the “Flynn Lives” group will be passing out T-shirts (presumably XXXL) and other viral merchandise. The rally will take place at the Justin Herman Plaza on the San Francisco Embarcadero, in case any bullies or jocks in California were looking for the easiest score of their lives.

Tell it like it is Slash Film:

The Flynn Lives website launched last summer, dedicated to the idea that the character Kevin Flynn is still alive and must be found. It is the most professional-looking “missing person” website I’ve ever seen, let alone one dedicated to a fictional person.

Well that’s great to know. Thousands of children go missing every year and all along some dorks with great design skills could be out there saving them. Maybe if Soul Asylum had made the “Runaway Train” video about episodes of Battlestar Gallactica and Fritos, we’d be a safer society.

And just because it’s San Francisco, here’s my favorite Nancy Pelosi image ever.

Pelosi image courtesy of the Frogman.

- Burnsy

Despite many people predicting disaster, Avatar is getting pretty good reviews and doing solid business.  Many would be content to leave it at that.  But this is America, and we like to overdo the f*ck out of everything.  *sips 85 oz. Slim Jim-flavored Slurpy*.  James Cameron recently spoke to UGO (via /Film) about his plans for an Avatar novelization — which he may write himself — and something called “Pandorapedia.”

Comics, novels, is that definitely happening?

James Cameron: Yeah, we’ll do as much as possible to do.  I wanted to get the bible worked out so that these things didn’t generate conflicting ideas or conflicting plotlines with things I would want to do in the sequels, or with each other.  That was the purpose of generating Pandorapedia, working out the backstory and the future history.

JH: And you don’t have any of those deals worked out with comic creators or…

JC: Not right now, that’s really going to be a second wave, including a novel which I hope to have time to write myself.

Whoa whoa whoa, the last time a guy named JC starting talking about a bible, people ended up getting nailed to a cross.  (Sorry).  …So, about this “Pandorapedia”…

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There’s really no more blatant way to pander to the nerds and get everyone damp under the man-boobs than sticking Olivia Munn from Attack of the Show in various cleavage-heavy outfits like Princess Leia.  But while my brain is insulted, my boner refuses to be reasoned with, and the shame tears just make me jerk harder (this is why Mormons have so many kids).  If one picture could sum up Comic-Con:

I’ll say this for Comic-Con: it’s the one day of the year when models really earn their paycheck.  You can just imagine some poor girl dressed as the world’s sluttiest centaur getting paid to be gawked at all day thinking “I pictured Milan…”  That Olivia Munn can still smile and maintain a cheerful exterior while surrounded by 15 socially inept shut-ins shouting, “Hey Olivia, I whack it to you way more than Megan Fox!” and “Hey Olivia, sign this hair doll!” and “Hey Olivia, lemme rub my greasy boner on you!” is nothing short of miraculous.  She’s truly a Saint I’d like to Motorboat.  (more pictures and video below)

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James Cameron hasn’t directed a fiction movie since Titanic back in ’97, and Avatar is his thus-far-shrouded-in-mystery-and-clearasil return to sci-fi.  Set for a December release, it’s described in its original treatment as “a man tries to make his way as a miner by combining with an alien during an interplanetary war in which humans can make themselves manifest by possessing alien bodies – avatars.”   Marketsaw recently dug up some of the Avatar concept art you see here.  I’ll let /Film describe it:

This one appears to show action from a set piece. Fleeing in the foreground is another one of the futuristic flying machines (most likely the Dragon Gunship) and behind it is one of the native beasts of Pandora. This one, I think, is a Bansheeray.

A great amount of Pandoran flora and fauna was dreamt up by Cameron to create a very complex alien ecosystem and I think he’s planning to leave it in the background, behind the drama and characterisation.From Bansheerays to Direwolves, the Leonopteryx to the Direhorse, and of course including the Na’vi, the humanoid natives at the heart of the matter, there’s an awful lot Avatar alienage, the vast majority of it still to be unveiled.

Thankfully, it shouldn’t all be so alien that we won’t be able to understand it – and indeed, the human characters who come to this strange world seem to mostly comprehend the otherness of what they find by referring to it in familiar, Earthly terms.

Haha, nice one, nerd.  I generally comprehend the otherness of what I find by socking it the gut and stuffing it in a locker.  Then I yell, “Be more normal, fag!”  It’s just my way. (*pops collar on letterman jacket*)