A while back, I brought you the news that gay prostitute observer and dicknose enthusiast James Franco was looking to direct an adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, in between curating invisible art museums and working towards his Masters of Belles Letres in 16th century French pastry from the Sorbonne (probably). Professor Dicknose recently attended the Toronto Film Festival, where he was asked about Blood Meridian. He revealed that Scott Rudin was on to produce, and that they’d shot 20 minutes of test footage with Scott Glenn and Luke Perry (of course), but the project was “on hold” for “various reasons.” Then he added, “but we are going to make a movie based on [Cormac McCarthy]‘s third novel, Child of God.”

What’s that about, you ask? Why, it’s a book about a man falsely accused of rape who moves to a cave and dabbles in necrophilia, of course. “James Franco Dicknoses Necrophilia.” Book it.

“Scuttling down the mountain with the thing on his back he looked like a man beset by some ghast succubus, the dead girl riding him with legs bowed akimbo like a monstrous frog.”

Child of God must be the most sympathetic portrayal of necrophilia in all of literature. The hero, Lester Ballard, is expelled from his human family and ends up living in underground caves, which he peoples with his trophies: giant stuffed animals won in carnival shooting galleries and the decomposing corpses of his victims. Cormac McCarthy’s much-admired prose is suspenseful, rich with detail, and yet restrained, even delicate, in its images of Lester’s activities.

“You could say that he’s sustained by his fellow men, like you…. A race that gives suck to the maimed and the crazed, that wants their wrong blood in its history and will have it.” [Amazon]

“Gives suck to the maimed,” you say? Why, that describes all my favorite porn. Anyway, I hope it still stars Luke Perry. “James Franco Dicknoses Necrophilia with Luke Perry: A Choreopoem,” they could call it.

[story via Empire, pic via WooMagazine courtesy of Buzzfeed]

(careful, trailer is NSFW for brief nudity)

Deadgirl is a heartwarming coming-of-age film about the trials and tribulations* of high school, friendship, the girl of your dreams, and the zombie f-cktoy you keep in an abandoned mental hospital.  (It’s basically like Weird Science if Kelly LeBrock had been a corpse). The trailer has some brief nudity, but it’s on a dead girl, so I don’t know if that counts as NSFW.  I guess it probably does.  But what would a movie about zombie f*cktoys be without nudity?  A zombie f*cktoy movie without nudity is like pancakes without maple syrup, or a childhood without birthday parties.  Anyway, before I get caught up smelling my own farts, Deadgirl opens in limited release July 24 and was made by some people you’ve never heard of but you can read all about here.

*sidenote: isn’t a “trial” and a “tribulation” the same damn thing?  who comes up with this crap? is it just because they both start with “T”? people are stupid.

This is the R-Rated (for brief nipplage around the 28 second mark) trailer for Deadgirl which sounds like pretty much your basic heartwarming indie film.

Deadgirl is about two high school kids who find a dead girl in an abandoned insane asylum strapped to a table. They realize that while she seemed dead at first, she is actually not dead, so they decide to use her for sex. [TrailerAddict]

Well sure, who hasn’t been there.  Boy, that was a hell of a plot twist there in the middle.