I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say that the following story miiiight not be true.  But seeing as how it involves a short film, it is my duty to cover it.  Hey, don’t kill the messenger.

A report has just broken out about a rumored sex tape between Academy Award-winner Sandra Bullock and motorcycle mogul Jesse James. Here’s a graphic report of what can be seen in that video, according to Showbiz Spy:

The alleged tape reportedly includes James smearing feces on Bullock’s upper lip during various types of anal sex, lots of profanity hurled from both parties, and a leather clad James, sporting a Hitler mustache with brown hat with a swastika, ramming a handcuffed Bullock’s bottom with a shotgun in his left hand. [DailyInquirer]

Hey, wasn’t this one of the deleted scenes from The Proposal?  Oh, and for future reference, if you stick a finger in a girl’s butt and then wipe it on her upper lip to give her a poopy Hitler ‘stache, it’s called a “Dirty Steinwiess.”  If you do it while singing show tunes, it’s a “Dirty Sondheim.”

UPDATE:  I didn’t feel like I needed any facts to assume this wasn’t true (I actually thought it was an April Fool’s post), but if you want them, my older brother site WWTDD does a pretty thorough job.

The concept of Broderskab (Brotherhood) is pretty straightforward: gay nazis. It may seem like a far fetched premise but it’s really not — after all, Hugo Boss designed the uniforms. The trailer is all in Danish, but the language of gay nazis is universal.

A a story about love and identity. Lars, 22, is drawn to the neo-Nazi scene, and to Jimmy. A love affair grows between them. Though gay love is not something to go unpunished in their circles, their love and erotic attraction are so strong that they continue their affair, even in the face of their fellow neo-Nazis’ condemnation.  [QuietEarth]

I’d just like to once again bring up my idea for the improv sitcom about neo-Nazis, Curbstomp Your Enthusiasm. I think it’d be a great show, as long as no gay nazis are in the room.

This is the trailer for Nasty Old People, which, according to BoingBoing is “the first feature film in Swedish history to be released under a Creative Commons license.”  I don’t really know what that means, but apparently you can download it for free legally from The Pirate Bay.  It sounds pretty typical for a Scandinavian film — death, nazis, etc.

Mette is a member of a neo-Nazi gang, her day job is to take care of four crazy old people that all are just waiting to die. Her life becomes a journey into a burlesque fairytale, where the rules of the game are created by Mette herself. Mette is indifferent about her way of life, until she one night assaults a man, kicking him senseless. Waking up the day after, she realizes that something is wrong, and in company with the her crazy oldies she longs for respect and love. She can tell that the old folks are marginalized by the modern society, but together they create a world and a voice of their own.

Hard to get a real feel from it from the trailer. Mainly I just posted it because it had nazis and old people watching porno.  Plus the trailer shows the nazi chick in a bath tub, and it’s a foreign film so you know you’ll get to see her naked lots. I don’t really understand what neo-Nazis in Scandinavia do. Do they just march around going, “You know who we hate?  The dark people we’ve read about in books!”  It’s like someone from Alabama complaining about the Jews.

The Weinstein Co has released the trailer for Nation’s Pride, a Nazi propaganda film-within-a-film which you’ll apparently get to see bits and pieces of during Inglourious Basterds.  The Nation’s Pride trailer was actually directed by Eli Roth, who also contributed the Thanksgiving trailer (video below) that played in the middle of Grindhouse.  I like Eli Roth because he emailed me once.

The Nation’s Pride trailer, which purports to tell the story of fictional Nazi hero Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Bruhl), is a little odd in that it doesn’t really attempt to look like a German propaganda film at all.  It’s also in English, and at one point has a title card that says “crowned in gloury” — a meta-joke about Tarantino’s inability to spell, I presume.  Or maybe the entire film takes place in an alternate history, like Watchmen, only in Inglourious Basterds, pretty much everything is the same except that stuff is spelled differently. And Jews are all handsome and cool like Brad Pitt. Yes, those dyslexic Weinstein brothers are sure to love this one, Quentin whispered to his typewriter.
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After the jump I’ve got the trailer for Flame & Citron, a Danish Nazi movie opening July 31st in the US.  The title refers to two fighters in the Danish Resistance, nicknamed Flame and Citron.  They’re trying to assassinate a Gestapo chief who’s after them when a woman comes between them, much like Tango and Cash.  It’s also got moral ambiguity and a who’s-infiltrating-whom plot, a lá The Departed.  So basically it’s a Danish Tango and Cash meets The Departed with Nazis.  Sounds pretty awesome, perhaps even better than my idea for a Swedish Turner and Hooch with lesbians.  (Spoiler alert, the dog gets the girl).
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