Iron Sky is a partially crowd-funded indie (technically, isn’t anything produced by a corporation ‘crowd-funded’?) that recently released a trailer in advance of its premiere at the Berlin Film Festival. Not only does it have space Nazis, it was directed by a Finnish guy, and as I think we’ve already seen from Grotesco and Creed Shreds, Scandinavians make the best parodies.
Towards the end of World War II the Nazi scientists made a significant breakthrough in anti-gravity. From a secret base built in the Antarctic, the first Nazi spaceships were launched in late ‘45 to found the military base Schwarze Sonne (Black Sun) on the dark side of the Moon. This base was to build a powerful invasion fleet and return to take over the Earth once the time was right.
This is how we ask directions in San Francisco. We shout, “HEY, YOU F*CKING NAZI, HOW DO I GET TO CLEMENT AND 10TH?” and then spit on the person. You see, “Nazi” is our version of “brother”, or “comrade”, and spitting is like our fist bump. So really, she was just saying, “Hey, bro, can you tell me how to get to Clement and 10th, please? (*fist bump*)” If you come here without a translator, it can be very confusing. [Buzzfeed]
MORNING LINKS
10 TV Characters Who Should Die For The Good Of The Show |Warming Glow|
Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week |Gamma Squad|
PICTURED: Yep, it’s Japanese fart porn. Thank you, Mike.
Kirsten Dunst won best actress at Cannes for her role in Lars von Trier’s Melancholia, so you’d think that when she got asked about Von Trier’s Nazi comments (which were only offensive if you’re an idiot), she might at least show an attempt at understanding. Perhaps a “he means well, but…”, or “well you know how granddad is when he drinks, glug glug glug” — something, at least out of gratitude. But of course she didn’t. She washed her hands of him at the first sign of controversy like the same prissy little idiot who started shifting uncomfortably in her seat before he’d even finished his sentence. Hey, bitch, why don’t you let me finish? Maybe I was going to say “just kidding.”
[Asked whether she thinks it's fair that she was rewarded despite what happened with Lars]
“I should not be affected by things that he said. So for me, things that he said were very inappropriate and idiotic, and I’m pleased that the festival and the jury could see beyond his words.
This is a festival about freedom of speech and film, and what he did was separate, and he paid for it.” [video via HollywoodElsewhere]
“How dare he speak freely at a festival dedicated to freedom of speech! I’m glad he got blacklisted for something he said!” What a spineless moron. You know, I always felt bad for Kirsten Dunst when people made fun of her ghostly skin and creepy pebble teeth (mainly because she had nice boobs, but still), but now I wish I could go back in time and retroactively pile on, because she clearly deserves it. SCREW YOUR BOOBS, KIRSTEN DUNST! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! In conclusion, I leave you with this gif of her horrified reaction:
Shh, Party Dog is doing important historical research
Movies had always been two dimensional, until James Cameron and his lady hair came along and filmed blue cat monkeys tail screwing, and forever changed the game. …OR DID HE?? According to a new report, the Nazis actually beat him to it 70 years ago, just as they beat Mel Gibson to hating Jews. WHACKETY SCHMACKETY EASY JOKES. (*dodges oven*)
Films shot on 3D in pre-war Nazi German have been unearthed in Berlin’s Federal Archives. Two 30 minute black and white propaganda films in 1936 were found by Australian director Phillipe Mora.
Mora discovered that the Nazis were decades ahead of Hollywood in developing a medium first popularized in the 1950s and now enjoying an international renaissance.
“The films are shot on 35mm — apparently with a prism in front of two lenses,” Mora said. “They were made by an independent studio for Goebbels’ propaganda ministry and referred to as ‘raum film’ — or space film — which may be why no one ever realised since that they were 3D.”
Ah, but what exactly did those wacky Germans use their 3D technology to film?
One film, a musical set during a carnival entitled “So Real You Can Touch It” features close up shots of sizzling bratwurst on a barbeque.
ACH DU LIEBER! Now zat’s vhat I call a hot schwanz! (*dance from Sprockets*)
So this one’s pretty self-explanatory: it’s called Frankenstein’s Army, and it comes from Dutch director Richard Raaphorst [GRRR, DICK RAPE HORSE!]. It’s about Hitler coming across the writings of Victor Frankenstein and trying to create an army of sewn-together undead to help him win the war. As far as stuff from Dutch directors goes, it actually sounds pretty tame. In fact, it’s pretty much one Asian chick in spandex and a slo-mo scene away from being a Zack Snyder movie.
Anyway, cool trailer, interesting concept. I was with it up until the part where Hitler reads a book by a guy named “Frankenstein.”
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