Guess which one’s an Oscar winner

With lots of new films hitting DVD today, there’s something for every discerning fan of cinema.  Besides The Paperboy (pictured above) we’ve got new films with Jake Gyllenhaal, Patton Oswalt, Danny Trejo, and Olivia Thirlby.  There’s films about universal soldiers, imposters, fat kids, phone-sex workers, and samurais.  There’s warriors of witchcraft and witch’s brew, and even one of this year’s Oscar-nominated films.

The DVDs:
End Of Watch
The Paperboy
Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning
Nature Calls
Death Race 3: Inferno
Searching For Sugar Man
For A Good Time, Call…
Nobody Walks
The Imposter
Officer Down
Tai Chi Zero
Fat Kid Rules The World
Hara-Kiri: Death Of A Samurai
Hansel & Gretel: Warriors Of Witchcraft
Night Of The Templar
Derby Dogs
Hold Your Breath
Dead Sushi
Witch’s Brew
Zombie Ed

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Can’t remember which one of these films is an Oscar-nominee?  Continue reading to find out.  Want to know why nobody walks?  Maybe it’s because fat kids rule the world, but you should continue reading just to be sure.  If you don’t really care and just want something to stream on Netflix, click the link above, but you’ll be missing out on a movie that gets the Dove Seal of Approval, despite featuring attempted vehicular manslaughter and scenes of people being covered in human excrement.  The choice is yours. Read the rest of this entry »

After last year’s Worst Movies feature, I received feedback from some readers and Twitter folk about me possibly being “too negative” and “mean” when it came to criticizing films that I chose to watch for this annual hate crime report. Some people even pulled the “What movies have you written?” card, which is cheap because I can just turn around and ask what dog they’ve ever photoshopped a mustache on, and BOOM – argument over.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of films are made each year, and a lot of them are bad. That’s not just by my standards; that’s by the standards of the majority. I have never, in the several years that Vince has let me poison the quality of his website, proclaimed to be a critic. I am just a bro who likes watching movies, and I have a naïve innocence that lets me still believe that people in Hollywood care about making quality films. Then I watch Bucky Larson and that gullible side of me is shoved into a wood chipper.

So how, then, do I determine which of the many, many mainstream films that I have watched in 2012 are the absolute worst of the worst of the WORST? It’s a little pinch of common sense mixed with a dash of “Come on, that’s just f*cking awful”. But I also have some rules, and let’s review them now…

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YAY!!!

Opening Everywhere: SKYFALL!!!, Lincoln

Opening Somewhere: Nature Disappoints… sorry, I mean, Nature Calls

FilmDrunk Suggests: SKYFALL!!! SKYFALL!!! SKYFALL!!! SKYFALL!!! SKYFALL!!! Also, I’ve heard Lincoln is pretty good. Vince is writing a review about it, because he saw it instead of Skyfall since he hates James Bond movies.

[Vince's Note: I'm seeing Skyfall this weekend. Burnsy hates that I hate Quantum of Solace, because Burnsy is a shaky-cam apologist.]

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In my award-winning Fall Movie Guide (2012 Botswana Village Journal’s Best English Blog Film Preview of September), I mentioned that I’ve got this funny, awful feeling in my gut that Patton Oswalt’s latest comedy, Nature Calls, might be a letdown. Yesterday, though, the red band trailer hit Yahoo! and now I can confidently say that this film looks… like it has a lot of curse words and yelling.

Also starring Johnny Knoxville, the late Patrice O’Neal and Rob Riggle, Nature Calls has been billed as Meatballs meats the Boy Scouts, as Oswalt plays a Scout leader clinging to his troop’s last few members, while his cooler brother (Knoxville) keeps stealing kids away with his video games and ice cream. Ultimately, it looks like a much louder version of that Saved by the Bell episode when Mr. Belding’s brother showed up and convinced Zack and the gang to bail on their senior trip in favor of white water rafting.

But, again, louder. So much louder.

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