Sh*tter's full, guys. Sh*tter's full.

New Line Cinema has hired writers John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein to reboot the classic Chevy Chase Vacation franchise, and if you’re about to shout at God and ask, “Why would they do this?”, don’t bother. You should have seen it coming.

The newest version will revisit the original National Lampoon’s Vacation cast, with Anthony Michael Hall reprising his role as the first Rusty Griswold, as opposed to the other Rustys, like pig face, the kid who was suddenly younger than Audrey, and Ethan Embry. Simply titled Vacation, the new film will focus on Rusty as the Griswold patriarch as he and his family embark on their first family trip, which will undoubtedly include them bumping into Clark and Ellen, because Chase and Beverly D’Angelo could probably use the cash.

Don’t worry, though, New Line says that the project is in good hands. Now punch that moose in the nose, L.A. Times:

The writers on the film (also the writers, incidentally, on “Horrible Bosses”) have finished a second draft of the script, and studio New Line is eager to get moving on the reboot, according to a person briefed on the project who was not authorized to talk about it publicly.

The company is reaching out to potential directors, said the person, including Pete Segal, the director of “50 First Dates,” who has some experience with reviving classic comedies, having directed the remakes of “The Longest Yard” and “Get Smart.”

Because when I think classic comedy revival success stories, I think The Longest Yard and Get Smart. But cynicism aside, this isn’t the worst idea to ever come from Hollywood. It could be nice to see a new Griswold clan hit the road and revive the hilarity of East St. Louis racism, dead family members and proud incest. That is, until they cast Rob Schneider as Cousin Eddie’s son and then all bets are off.

In an epic display of chutzpah (that’s Jew talk for lettin’ your nuts swing), the producers of Pledge This, who put Paris Hilton in their movie back in ’06, turned around and sued her for $8 million dollars, claiming she didn’t promote the film like she’d agreed to.  She recently appeared in court, and it was every bit the sh-t show you’d imagine.

Hilton told the Florida district court that it was not her fault the film flopped. She said she spent two years promoting it before it was released, including two high-profile trips to the Cannes Film Festival.

If by promoting it you mean “collecting bags of free sh-t and posing for pictures,” then yeah, I’ll buy that argument.

Before giving evidence, Hilton, in a black dress and six-inch stilettos, gave a little wave to the judge. “I’ve never had a witness wave at me before,” chief district judge Federico Moreno said.

The socialite went on to say that she tried her best to promote the film. “If I have my name attached to something, I want it to be as big as it can be,” she said, adding: “It could have been a lot better if it was done more professionally. I wanted to do as well as possible.” She explained that at the time when she was being asked to promote the film for DVD sales, her schedule was full due to rehearsals for her next film, 2008′s The Hottie & The Nottie. Asked if that was a better movie, Hilton replied with a giggle: “It was really good”.

Mr Goldberg told the court that he pumped the final $600,000 (£370,000) from his receivership account into the completion of the film in the hope that Hilton’s star quality would reap rewards. He said her unwillingness to promote the movie after the premiere was the reason it lost money. “I said, ‘Just do one little thing and you’ll never hear from me again’. We had no support whatsoever,” he said. [Telegraph via Cinematical]

You thought hiring Paris Hilton would be a good business decision?  Did you see her reality show?  You know, the one whose entire premise was Paris getting hired to do stuff and then her not doing it?  If this judge had any balls, his response would’ve been “Mr. Goldberg, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”