An email newsletter from self-explanatory retailer SkiWear4Less has been banned by the U.K.’s Advertising Standard’s Authority for using news of Natasha Richardson’s death to sell ski helmets.  I don’t know how you ban an email that’s already been sent, but British people are clever.

The mass-mailer featured a photograph of the star and offered details of her passing alongside a strong sales pitch.

“The actress fell and hit her head during a supervised ski lesson on a nursery slope. She was not wearing a helmet at the time,” the notice said.  “As a ski retailer and ski enthusiasts, our thoughts go out to the family during this tragic time,” it said. “We hope this doesn’t discourage future skiers from participating in this exciting and invigorating sport. To encourage the wearing of ski helmets, we have reduced the prices of both kids and adults ski helmets and are offering FREE POSTAGE on all ski helmets.”

The company claims the notice was a newsletter—not promotional material—and was sent in response to Liam Neeson’s wife’s passing. The ASA determined that the intent was to sell helmets and said sensitive events should be handled with more care. They concluded that the email should not be used again. [EOnline]

In fairness to SkiWear4Less, their final version was a lot more sensitive than the original text of the ad, “You’d have to be brain dead not to snap up this deal!”  As a general rule, it’s best to avoid exclamation points when discussing death.  “We’re sorry for your loss!”

Actress Natasha Richardson, wife of Liam Neeson and daughter of Vanessa Redgrave and director Tony Richardson, is in critical condition after a skiing accident.

Richardson …apparently suffered a traumatic brain injury.  Richardson, 45, was transferred to Hopital du Sacre-Coeur de Montreal at about 5 p.m. after initially being taken to entre Hospitalier Laurentien, which is close to the exclusive Mont Tremblant ski resort in Quebec. Sources said she was later taken to the couple’s home, though this could not be immediately confirmed. If true, it could mean that she is brain-dead and may be close to death. [IrishCentral]

Keep in mind, they said it could mean. Irish Central apparently isn’t above speculating about the worst possible scenario.  Anyway, I hope this is the last depressing news I have to report this week.  Could someone please teach Seltzer-Friedberg how to ski?  If one ran into a tree the other would probably die of laughter.

UPDATE: Says TMZ: “We’re told she was having a private lesson on a green slope (beginner) at a ski resort in Quebec, Canada. She fell — we’re not sure why. There was no blood and no sign of impact. Two ski patrollers came to her rescue. When they got there she was conscious — smiling and making jokes. An hour later, Natasha started to complain of a headache and said she didn’t feel well. Someone from the resort called 911, and she was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Natasha was conscious when she left the resort.” Hmm, yeah… so I’m thinking saying she might be brain dead may have been a bit premature. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

DOUBLE UPDATE: TimeOutNewYork apparently reported that she was dead about 20 minutes ago but later retracted the story. So who knows what’s really happening! Stick around while I speculate wildly! *fires finger guns around the room like Yosemite Sam*

TRIPLE: Says an email to retarded 12-year-old Perez Hilton: Time Out New York sincerely apologizes for the confusion. We stand by our sources, and our friend of the family first confirmed “dead” and then called back to say “brain dead.” We find the situation incredibly tragic and obviously wish to only report the facts. Our website crashed from traffic.

See? Aren’t you glad this story had a happy ending?  Oh wait.