The folks behind the Death Race DVD are pushing next week’s release pretty hard, and in lieu of actually giving me a copy (hint hint, motherf-ckers), they keep sending me clips like the one above.  Oh well, I’ll bite. In the video, Natalie Martinez explains why guys in prison might be excited to see her (because there normally aren’t many women around, you see) and The Stath’ explains the appeal of her crop top.  Later he had this to say:

Oi, cunts.  Oy’s Jason Stafam a course.  It’s well fock’n obvious dat da Staf’ ‘as done moy share a da shoiny fock’n sazz wagon movies, now ‘aven’ Oy?  Roight. But da fock’n fing about dis one, Def Raice, is dat da sazz wagon Oy’s droivin ain’ fock’n shoiny at all, donnit?  So when Oy sawr it, Da Staf’ was propa fock’n worried dat da dere weren’ be no fit birds if da wagon ain’ got dat shoine, innit.  But den dey wiz loike, “Oi! Staf’!  Dis fock’n sazz wagon ‘as got fock’n bloody machine pistils on da top of it, donnit?”  An’ so Oy took moy shir’ off an did a fousand pushups (cuz da Staf finks better dat way), an’ Oy fought, Oi, why not?  Oy ‘afta show moy versa-fock’n-tili-ee as an actor some toime, now doesn’ Oy?  So I did da fock’n movie, an’ a course Oy ‘ad great fock’n toime knackerin cunts wif moy pistil wagon, innit.

Long story short, Oy know what your finkin’ ’bout da Latin bird, an’ da answer is yes, Oy knobbed’a.  Oo da fock d’yous fink Oy am?

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Death Race hits DVD December 21st.  Not an announcement I’d normally care about, but their PR flack reminded me about it with pictures of the lovely Natalie Martinez here.  A wise strategy, sirs.  She can really wear a hand bra.  (more pictures below)

Michael Bay’s Christmas wish list.  Michael Bay needs a book on falconry?  I thought Michael Bay wrote the book on falconry.  In crayon. [Screenjunkies]

Alf’s dad loves gay sex and crack. No wonder George Lucas is so messed up.  [HolyTaco]

Bryan Singer not involved in talks about the next Superman.  Which doesn’t necessarily tell you he’s fired, just that people don’t generally discuss whether to fire you with you in the room.  [Filmonic]

Poster for Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  This could be the most unfunny movie ever.  [JoBlo]

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: 9 clips and 46 new pictures.  I want to see a movie about a puppy who gets cuter as it ages.  Then one day, it’s just a puddle of rainbows.  [RopeofSilicon]

The world’s most disturbing animals.  I would totally bang that giant salamander.  He looks like he’d be squishy.  [Atom]

Walrus playing saxophone.  You’ve probably already seen this, but come on, it’s a walrus playing saxophone.  If I let anyone miss out on it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. [CollegeHumor]