[video turns slightly NSFW at the 55-second mark]

I was of course being humorous with that headline.  I doubt there’s a reboot of The Taking of Pelham 123 in the works, and I’m not sure if Mel Gibson even has a cousin (though he’s Catholic, so I’d guess he has about a thousand). This is actually a video of a guy freaking out on the subway, in which he strips down to his pubes and ding dong to shout racial slurs against the blacks and Jews.  Or as I like to call it, my birthday.

Two things about this video: 1. Those are the worst cops ever. I appreciate not immediately going for the pussy taser, but it took three of you to take down one naked whiteboy? That is terrible. Use a choke hold if you have to.  2. Someone needs to start making PSAs about learning to hold your godd*mned cell phone camera the right direction.  Come on, I gotta turn my head sideways now?  I’m trying to watch a tweeked-out schizo’s peen flop around over here.

Oh hey, would you look at that, I already had a tag for “naked fights.”

[via Vulture]

Jim Cameron judges the McG-Bay penis-measuring competition, Bay tries to influence his ruling.

New details about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s cameo in Terminator Salvation have emerged, namely, that a naked, digitized version of Arnold will fight Christian Bale.

The filmmakers used fancy computer tricks to put the California governor’s face on some young bodybuilder’s body, so he looks just like he did when he walked naked on the streets in 1984. Arnold’s face only shows up for a few shots before it [his face], and his package, get mangled beyond recognition.

If my digitized face was going to be on another dude’s body, I’d want it to be a big black guy, not some bodybuilder.  Just sayin.  Anyway, naturally, while covering this story, E! couldn’t resist asking McG about his penis feud with Michael Bay, which he now says was meant to be ironic (duh).

“That was lost immediately, and people gravitated to ‘two spoiled-brat directors think they have big cocks,’” McG said. “Nothing could be further from the truth.”  But since you brought it up…  “The funny thing is, I have an Irish curse and I think we’re all familiar with exactly how [I'm endowed].”

You mean there’s another curse besides being a ginger?  Anyway, penis is a funny word. I prefer to call mine a “hatestick.”