So Dane Cook’s apartment complex in West Hollywood where he’s lived for the last 10 years is trying to evict him, because he reportedly lets his dog shit in the public courtyard and doesn’t clean up after it.  Dane Cook says evicting him from the apartment once occupied by John Belushi would jinx his career.  An excerpt from Cook’s filing:

“To live in the unit of one of the great legends was overwhelming and after moving in to that unit, I felt a creative drive that I had never felt before. It’s a little bit like the superstition that athletes have, before games, about a favorite bat or shoe, or the order in which they gear up; for me, this apartment has been the place where I’ve sat and worked on my comedy routines, and I can feel, and have felt, the presence of the true greats that lived there before me. It’s been a long road for me, in terms of developing my career as a comic, and the apartment is both a place of inspiration to me as well as a place where I go to feel connected to the source.” [Yahoo/E]

Hmm, let’s see if we can find any holes in this argument… *deep breath* If you want the court to consider something, don’t call it a “superstition”; if you liked the apartment so much, you shouldn’t have let your dog shit all over it; John Belushi OD’d in his prime which may not qualify as lucky; and your last three movies were Employee of the Month, Good Luck Chuck, and My Best Friends Girl - the court would be doing the world a favor if it jinxed this hot streak.  At least, that’s what I’d say if I were judge.  That, and “I’m naked under this robe,” and “Here come de judge, here come de judge…”

^{Mm-mmm! That is, a small, muthaf*ckin flashlight!}

Lakeview Terrace, from Neil LaBute, the director of Wicker Man (pictured below right) and Sam Jackson, the star of anything you pay him for, was the big winner this weekend, taking in $15.6 million for the top spot, nearly earning back its $20 million budget in its first weekend.

The other new movies all fared pretty badly.  Dane Cook continued to be box office poison as My Best Friend’s Girl opened in third with just $8.3 million.  Shockingly, it wasn’t screened for critics.  The cast, the concept, the poster, the fact that they actually used the song in the trailer – hard to pinpoint the exact problem when everything about the film was so spectacularly ill-conceived.  Dane Cook has now bombed opposite Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, and Kate Hudson which means he’s just a small step away from starring opposite Carmen Electra, and that’s when you’ve truly failed.  My favorite My Best Friend’s Girl review:

Want to spend a seemingly endless 100 minutes watching a dullard trying to decide between a douchebag and a eunuch? Then run, don’t walk, to My Best Friend’s Girl, a supremely irritating movie about idiots and their dull quest for unconvincing love. -MSNBC

Meanwhile, Ghost Town, starring Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear, received mostly positive reviews but opened all the way down at number 8 with $5.2 million.  I just can’t understand it, it seemed like such a fresh concept.  Full top ten after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Somehow I missed this yesterday, but the Boston City Council declared it Dane Cook Day.  And just in time for the release of My Best Friend’s Girl!  Seriously though, if being in one crappy movie with Kate Hudson is enough to get you honored by the City Council, Matthew McConnaughey should be emperor of the universe.  But back to Dane Cook Day – how should we celebrate?

“Let’s see, ‘Dane Cook Day’ in Boston…  It would be a day off, people would be given bags of gold and . . . a gift certificate to Legal Sea Foods. And I’d throw a party on the Boston Common where people could come dressed as their favorite biblical character.” [Boston Herald]

Oh, Dane, you’re so zany.  Not funny, per se, or cute, but, you know, wacky.  That should be your new nickname, Zany Dane.  Oh hey look, Zany Dane Cook is in another crappy movie, people would say.

In this new clip from My Best Friend’s Girl, Dane Cook does what he does best: recycle 10-year-old jokes from Urban Dictionary.  At the dinner table – ewww!

OMG, bro, he’s totally talking about the Dirty Houdini!  That’s like what would happen if the Dirty Sanchez gave the Houdini a Cleveland Steamer!  He totally reminds me me my big bro, Tony!  One time I touched a girl’s boob! Please think I’m cool!

If there’s one thing Dane Cook and I can agree on, it’s how much the poster for his new movie My Best Friend’s Girl sucks.  Recently, Dane even devoted an entire Myspace blog to the subject – OMG, I’m gonna give him so many Kudos for this!  3====> – - – (|)

I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.
-Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with 3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations.
-The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ vagina.
-My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.
-Hair: It’s actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin’.
-Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching. [Source - and I recommend reading the comments]

I agree on all points.  What I think happened was that the people making the poster decided to make it deliberately bad in order to warn others away from watching it, and that way they could morally justify their collaboration on such a shitty project.  "Hell yeah we made bullets for Hitler, you couldn’t hit a Jew from three feet away with those crooked pieces of shit," they seem to be saying.

UPDATE: As commenter Donkey Hodey discovered, a Dane fan known as "The Art of Punk" went ahead and made a corrected poster.  Very clever, I’m sure you’ll agree.