A Qatari (that’s a country — a lawless land that flouts the U after Q rule) media company has announced plans for a $150 million English-language film about the Muslim prophet Muhammad. There’s just one small problem: it’s forbidden by the religion to show depictions of him.
Alnoor Holdings has hired the cleric Sheikh Yousef al-Qaradawi as their lead theological consultant for the film.
He is admired by many moderate Muslims and was recently described by the government’s senior counter-terrorism official as “one of the most articulate critics of al-Qaeda in the Islamic world”.
He is also a highly controversial figure who was refused entry to Britain last year because of his views. He has reportedly condoned the Holocaust [that's novel. usually they deny it. "Oh no, I don't doubt that it happened, I just had no problem with it. Seems like good governing."] , supported the stoning of homosexuals and praised suicide bombers in Iraq, not to mention telling an interviewer that he considered Shia Islam a heretical branch of the faith.
According to the Gulf Times newspaper he told journalists in Doha that the film was a response to “the crusader-styled distortion of Islam [that] continues to influence [the] world population today.” [TimesOnline]
So how will they do a biopic on a guy they can’t show? Believe it or not, it’s been done before. How’d that go, you ask? Um… not well.
Religulous is an upcoming documentary from Bill Maher and director Larry Charles (Borat, Curb Your Enthusiasm). In this clip, Maher visits a burqa store in order to… uh, in order to do material, it looks like. I like to make fun of people as much as the next guy (who’s probably a douchebag), but if I were standing in front of a scary, stone-faced Muslim, I’d at least pretend to listen to what he was saying. I also wouldn’t show up with a chick wearing a tank top. That’s probably the equivalent of showing up with a naked hooker covered in dog crap at a burqa store. But hey, as long as we’re insulting the guy’s way of life for cheap jokes, why not go with "Boy, this burqa really is ‘da bomb’. ‘Da bomb’, get it?"
"Hey, you guys think bees convince each other that they get 72 bee virgins in the afterlife if they sting you? Because they die right afterwards, so they’re kind of like the suicide bombers of the animal kingdom when you think about it. Is this thing on? I think we got a cold mike here."
The Dutch love hookers and pot, and Muslim fundamentalists hate fun, so the two are natural enemies. Yesterday Al-Qaeda issued a fatwa calling for the execution of Dutch filmmaker Geert Wilder, who is producing "an anti-Koran short."
Wilders expects to finish the 15-minute "Fitna" by the beginning of March, and will talk to broadcasters about airing it. None are yet on board.
But he insists "Fitna" (Arabic for discord) will be available on the website of his political party in the Netherlands and a dedicated site.
Already, the Cairo Intl. Film Festival for Children [which I imagine is a fucking blast - Ed.] announced it was dropping Dutch entry "Where Is Winky’s Horse?" in protest at Wilders’ film.
According to Dutch press agency ANP, fest director Fawzi Fahmi said the decision was a protest against everyone who intentionally and persistently insults and degrades monotheistic religion. [Variety]
I’m sorry, I know this is a serious issue and all, but everything and everyone in this story has a silly name. No matter how hard I try, all I can do is imagine growing a mustache like the guy in the banner pic, yelling ‘FAWZI FAHMI!" in surprise with my bow tie spinning around like a propeller, and then running in circles on the floor like Curly from Three Stooges.
After Afghanistan banned The Kite Runner and the studio delayed production while the stars basically ran for their lives because of a fictional rape scene, I can’t imagine the Muslims are gonna be thrilled about this latest news.
First Run Features has acquired U.S. theatrical and DVD rights to "A Jihad for Love," the first doc to explore the lives of gay Muslims.
"Jihad," which preemed at the Toronto fest and is set to unspool in the Panorama section at Berlin, was filmed on many continents, often in secret, because many local governments would not sanction the filming. [Variety]
I know the gays are supposed to be all flamboyant and stuff, but I’m pretty sure if I was a muslim and a gay I’d be walking around with a burqa on, talking in a high-pitched voice all day. Getting my dome chopped off in the town square wouldn’t be my idea of “giving head”, you know what I’m saying? Ha ch-cha-cha-cha! *sad trombone sounds*
