Yesterday I posted the first batch of pictures, and now we have a full-length trailer for the MTV Films-sponsored remake of Footloose, which is pretty much indistinguishable from a sequel to Step Up to the Streets.  In the new version, Kenny Wormald, playing Kevin Bacon’s old character Ren McCormack, moves from Bawston (Bacon was from Chicago in the original) to Bomont, Tennessee, where the town preacher, Dennis Quaid in a sweater, has banned dancing (MY FAATHAH; HE DON’T GET OUT MUCH).  Eventually Ren learns the real reason dancing has been banned: three years ago, some seniors coming home from an underground dance party were killed in a car accident.  Uh… what?  Ignoring the dislogic of this plot device, Ren sets out to prove the preacher wrong, by showing him what a slut his daughter is.  Presumably, it all ends with a tense courtroom battle, an impassioned speech.  “Ya rawnah? I may nawt be from heah, and you may hate me fa my Twilight hayuh and queah sunglasses, but if I know one thing in this world, it’s this: Dancing to the music of daahkies is NAWT the prawblem.  That’s why me an’ ya daughtah ah going to Hawllywood to be on America’s Best Dance Crew, AN YOU CAN’T STAWP US!”  (*slow clap*) GO SAWX

"I told ya she was an MTV whoah."

If you’re not a part of the snooty New York theater scene, you might not have been aware that South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Book of Mormon musical has been playing to rave reviews and sold out shows on Broadway for about a month now.  That may or may not be a huge accomplishment considering their competition is stuff like Legally Blonde and the U2 Spider-Man play, but they did create it with Avenue Q‘s Robert Lopez, and I can confirm that Avenue Q is amazing.  Now several sites are reporting that Book of Mormon could be coming to theaters, and I mean the American kind, with popcorn and Coke, not those fruity pinko ones with the programs and the intermissions.  So why the question mark in the headline?  Well, here’s the quote at the crux of the reports, from Deadline’s Mike Fleming:

So what will happen when producer Scott Rudin inevitably shops the Broadway musical to become a movie musical? “We’ve learned in our careers that as long as something is successful, they will give you money for it,” Parker tells me. “They just want to make money in Hollywood, they don’t really care. As long as the musical continues to do well, I don’t think it’s going to be hard at all.”

So… does that mean Scott Rudin actually is shopping the Broadway musical as a movie musical?  Uh… maybe?  That’s the way most sites are reporting it.  As we’ve seen before, sometimes it’s hard to tell what the f*ck Mike Fleming is talking about.  In any case, there doesn’t seem to be any reason it couldn’t become a movie.  Also, it sounds awesome:

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Because it worked so well as a play (I honestly don’t know if I’m being sarcastic here), Green Day’s American Idiot is set to become a feature film, written by Milk‘s Dustin Lance Black and possibly starring Billy Joe.  My God, we’ve become as obnoxious as the baby boomers, haven’t we.

Michael Mayer will direct. Mayer helmed the stage run of the musical, which is closing on Broadway April 24 and launching a tour in the fall.

Is Michael Mayer John Mayer’s brother?  Would anyone be surprised if he was?

The musical, which uses the songs of the punk band’s [really? we're still calling them that?] seminal 2004 album to tell the coming-of-age story of three small-town guys, was optioned before its opening last spring by Playtone partners Tom Hanks and Gary Goetzman. They previously turned the stage hit Mamma Mia! into a Universal film. It is expected that Green Day lead singer/songwriter Billie Joe Armstrong will be courted to play the role of the drug dealer St. Jimmy. Each time he did a stint in the role on Broadway, the grosses rose considerably at the St. James Theatre. [Deadline]

So they made more money when the lead singer of Green Day was onstage?  Gee, it’s almost as if people would rather just watch a concert.

A little more than a year ago, someone decided, “Hey, remember that spunky three-piece who wrote catchy songs about masturbating?  Let’s have them write a vague concept album about Americana and get some fruity theater kids to act it out on stage.” Then a few months ago they were like, “Ooh, let’s stunt cast Melissa Etheridge in the lead!”  I’m not even sure who they’re pandering to anymore.  People who still enjoy musicals are too old for Green Day.  People who like Green Day hate musicals.  I’m not sure anyone was ever more than mildly lukewarm on Melissa Etheridge.  Are there three lesbian dog groomers somewhere in Portland who are just thrilled about this?  I’m confused and sad.  I’ll simply leave you with the following photo essay, which I like to call “Faces of American Idiot.”

Voltaire once wrote “anything that is too stupid to be said is sung,” which is why nowadays, with just a modicum of elbow grease and jazz hands, one can turn virtually anything into a musical, be it Legally Blonde or a family of cats. Therefore, it should come as a surprise to no one that some kids at Emerson have turned the cult-classic-that-hardly-anyone-actually-saw The Human Centipede into a musical.  Why not, right? It’s already been a porno, a tattoo, a cat toy, a necklace… And anyway, watching student-run musical theater was already a lot like putting your mouth over someone’s assh-le as it is. (I dated a theater major, trust me on this one).

You can watch all seven parts of it, broken into 10-minute chunks, after the jump.  It looks reasonably funny from what I saw, but I didn’t watch the whole thing.  Come on, I’m a professional blogger, I don’t have that kind of time. (*chokes on irony*) (*chokes on Hot Pocket*)

[thanks to CentipedeMusical via The DailyWhat]

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"Oh, hello there."

In addition to being a famous movie star, hosting the Oscars, and founding the Department of James Franco Studies at James Franco University in James Franco, James Franco still finds time to be a PhD student in English at Yale.  Up until now, he was also juggling duties as producer of a student-run musical, which, knowing Yale, would probably just be a bunch of guys dressed like women reading Chaucer in shrill, British falsettos. But in a Julie Taymor-esque move, Franco has since exited the production.  And considering it was set to be called “James Franco Presents,” his absence may dicknose the entire project.

The immodestly-titled “James Franco Presents” ran into trouble almost immediately. Collaborator Matthew George jumped ship back in January, reportedly because the production was underfunded and disorganized. Franco’s remaining partner on the project, Jessica Berkowitz, tried to put on a brave face and assemble a cast. However, the pair’s credibility was dashed when Franco decided he wouldn’t show up for auditions to the musical that bore his name. As pressure and cynicism mounted, the following desciption of the play’s storyline was revealed:

“James Franco Presents” is the story of a girl dealing with the realities of love and life once she realizes she can’t hide behind the wonderful fantasies of fiction. A comedic drama, this musical incorporates film and live musical theater to tell the story of a cast struggling to write and produce a musical that is grounded in high school realities but with a sci-fi twist. Sex, blood, and surrealism to be expected.

Yesterday, Berkowitz told the Yale Daily News, “Due to unforseen challenges, Mr. Franco has ceased to be part of the project.” She continued: “This change has necessitated that the current show be re-worked with the hope of a later production date.” The project is now being referred to as “The Stargazer.” [TheFeast - thanks, James]

Duuude, NOW who’s going to orally copulate the James Franco Real Doll onstage?  I mean, I’m sure we could find someone to do it, but it sure won’t be meta.  WAIT!  DON’T LOSE FAITH! JAMES FRANCO CAN FIX THIS! (*James Franco duct tapes Fleshlight to Corgi, “Vagina Dog in New Haven” opens to mixed reviews*)