Sadly, I haven’t had time for normal Friday Free For All posts these past few weeks, but I couldn’t forget about it today, because ever since I posted that V-Nasty clip the other day, I’ve been bombarded with emails linking me to countless other how-can-this-be-real raps. “Rap”, that’s what the kids call it, right? Its rambunctious jungle rhythm frightens me. In any case, the best of the bunch was this video from the self-proclaimed “number one female Chicano rapper,” “Miss Lady Pink,” whom I assume is married to “Mr. Gentleman Dong.” Thanks to Fernando for sending this one in.

The song’s called “Gangsta Freak,” and it begins with the lines “Get over here, G, and let me grab your c*ck, is it hard enough for me to just jump on top? I love me gangsta d*ck, all night long, I got the bomb-ass p*ssy and my (??) is strong,” all delivered while she smokes cigarette in a hot tub artfully covering her belly. I wonder where she went to finishing school.

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U2′s Bono and The Edge star alongside the cast of the play in this new music video for “Rise Above 1″ a big number from Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, which is still playing on Broadway. Naturally I had to post it because to me, the idea of U2 writing the music for a play based on Spider-Man is a better satire of theater than even Waiting for Guffman could’ve been, and somehow it’s all real. Yet again, parody can’t touch reality for absurdity.

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Yup, still love The Lonely Island.  “You’re still a c*nt, Steve, go f*ck your snake.”

MORNING LINKS

The Best Of #Party Down [UPROXX]

Meme Watch: Lenny Kravitz Auditions For Hipster Verizon Guy [UPROXX]

Pruney fingers may serve a practical purpose. |GammaSquad|

Darnell Docket is a great American, find out why. |WithLeather|

Louis C.K.: Why Farts Are Funny [WarmingGlow]

BBQ’s & Boomboxes: 25 Essential Summer Songs [TSS]

Chris Hansen caught cheating. With a woman. Lame. |TheDailyWhat|

I don’t know who Michelle Hunziker is, but her boobs seem nice. |TheSuperficial|

Al Roker and the World’s Ugliest Dog are besties. |Videogum|

Monthly fail compilation, June 2011. |GorillaMask|

Aw, Chinese people have memes too, they’re just like us. |Buzzfeed|

Nerds throughout the ages. |HolyTaco|

Art School In A Sentence. [NextRound]

A guide to judging a woman by her swimwear, thought I don’t know why you’d want to do that. |Guyism|

Bryan Cranston joining Gangster Squad. |ScreenJunkies|

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I know I haven’t done Friday Free For All in a few weeks, but I’m going to make it up to you today with the 1989 musical video for Angela Winbush’s “It’s the Real Thing.” This video is notable for featuring both a young Don Cheadle and a profusion of sequined baseball hats.  Cheadle would later go on to score an Oscar nomination for 2004′s Hotel Rwanda, but nowhere was he able to display the sense of fun and whimsy he showed here.  All you really need to know about this video is the exchange at the beginning, after Winbush shows up to the car wash in her Ferrari Testarossa.

CAR WASH ATTENDANT: “Hot wax?”

ANGELA WINBUSH: “The hottest.”

Aw, yeah, son, I’m gettin all hot!  So does that mean she’s gonna have to change her name to Angela Waxedbush?  Honestly, I’m curious.  I’m frightened and confused by the 80s.

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I figure any day that features Fred Durst news is a good day for nu-metal parody videos (I realize Limp Bizkit is more rap-rock than nu-metal, but let’s face it, Limp Bizkit, Mudvayne, Linkin Park — labels aside, they’re all terrible in similar ways).  Anyway, now the nu-metal song from the Birdemic trailer now has a full video of its own, courtesy of “Chamber of Pudd”.

From the press release:

Chamber of Pudd is Kind Pudd (vocals), Twitch Hernandez (lead guitar), WayNe Panik (bass), Ulva (DJ) and Tate Bainian (drums).

“The film really resonated with me. I had a girlfriend who was my world who passed away… she was dead to me anyway… the details are too painful to rehash in my warped mind but she had a bird. I took the bird after she died. Cared for it. But it was really f*cking mean. And scared me. But I could relate with me locked in my cage of rage and that bird locked in a cage of cage in a f*cking rage. We were mirror images in a f*cked up world.”

These guys are totally playing gathering of the juggalos next year.

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