An 18-year-old Florida girl is behind bars after murdering a 16-year-old dude and dumping his body in a storm drain. Hmm, horrible, but that could happen anywhere. Do you have anything else that would make this more… I don’t know… Floridian?

A Florida teenager is behind bars as an accessory to the brutal murder of 16-year-old Jacob Hendershot. But that may not be the most shocking part of the crime. Stephanie Pistey says she believes she’s part vampire and part werewolf.
Florida police say that, in July, Pistey’s friends lured Hendershot to a house, killed him, and then left his body in a storm drain. Police had originally said Hendershot’s was murdered because Pistey had accused the 16-year-old of raping her, according to CBS affiliate WTSP.
Five people so far, including Pistey, are charged in connection to the crime with either murder or accessory after the fact.
Police have previously speculated that there may be more to the case. They say the murder suspects may have been involved in a vampire cult, WTSP reports, and Pistey’s claims to vampiredom appear to give credence to the idea.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leonardo DiCaprio’s next project may not be as the Riddler as some people with no lives or sources had projected, but it’s certainly going to slay audiences. Because he’ll be playing a serial killer. Slay… hell yeah, my jokes is legit today. DiCaprio’s production company has acquired the rights to the Erik Larson book “The Devil in the City” which chronicles the exploits of Dr. HH Holmes, who is believed to be America’s first serial killer. I like to think he was also America’s first FilmDrunkard. *wipes away single tear, stabs hobo*

Holmes built and operated the World’s Fair Hotel in Chicago in 1893 as the Queefy Windy City was hosting the great event. He lured young, single women to his establishment and murdered them. In his defense, they kept calling room service and asking for hot sausage, giggling, and then hanging up. Holmes is believed to have been responsible for between 27 and 200 murders, and that lack of records is a shame. A guy devotes his life to killing people and nobody even cares to keep an accurate record. I will just assume they were Cubs fans and be content with the good doctor’s work.

Lure me into your trap for sinister details of how this deal was done, Deadline:

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t usually watch 60 Minutes because I don’t have grey pubes, but yesterday they did a profile on JC, aka Jesus Cameron, director of Avatar and creator of the universe amen.  It’s mostly the same stuff you’ve already heard in his Playboy interview, his New Yorker profile, his letter to Penthouse forum, etc., but there was one tidbit that was new to me:

“The head of Orion, who were gonna release Terminator, called me up and said, ‘Are you sitting down?  I have cast this movie.  I was at a party, and it’s OJ Simpson for the Terminator.’

And I said ‘This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.’

And I didn’t know OJ Simpson, I had nothing against him personally, and I didn’t know he was gonna go murder his wife and become the real Terminator…”

The segment does a pretty good job of capturing Cameron in a nutshell: enough of a megalomaniacal Napoleon to wear a hat that says HMFIC (Head MotherF-cker In Charge) but refreshing in that he’s the rare Hollywood personality that seems very intelligent and has the balls to casually call OJ a murderer in an interview.  In related news, Brett Ratner has a hat that says “Big Cheese” because he loves nachos.

Skylar DeLeon, who had a bit part on Power Rangers and suffered the dual indignity of being both a former child actor and named ‘Skylar,’ was sentenced to death on Friday. He was convicted of killing a retired yacht-owning couple and another man he met on a work furlough program in a separate incident.  You may also remember DeLeon as the guy who “tried to saw off his own penis.”

During the trial, the court heard how Deleon and two other men, John F. Kennedy [Why would you name your kid that?] and Alonso Machain, had sailed out with the victims from Newport Harbor in November 2004 for what the unsuspecting couple believed was a test run. Deleon and his cohorts had been posing as prospective buyers of the yacht.

Once out at sea, the three men overpowered the couple, handcuffing them and covering their eyes and mouths with duct tape before forcing them to sign and fingerprint title transfer documents for the yacht.  Machain, who testified for the prosecution, told how the terrified couple were then tied to the boat’s anchor and lowered into the sea. Their bodies were never found. Machain and Kennedy face trials at a later date [Kennedy was convicted, and is due for sentencing next month].

Defense attorney Gary Pohlson had asked jurors to spare his client’s life, arguing that Deleon was abused by a drug-dealing father who left him predisposed to violence. He declined to comment after the sentencing. [AFP, AOL]

Jeez, man, he tried to cut off his own dick – what’s a guy gotta do to get an insanity verdict these days?  In any case, this is all the more reason to lock up Ace Ventura Jr. now as a preventative measure, while he’s still too weak to overpower yacht owners.

For years I’ve spread word that child actors are the scourge of this great nation. Meanwhile, politicians have done nothing but molest interns and smoke crack with hookers.  Maybe this will finally get their attention:

Skylar Deleon, 29, who had a bit part in an episode “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers”, faces the death penalty after being convicted of three counts of murder at a trial in Santa Ana. [Moral of the story: Never name your kid ‘Skylar’. –Ed.]
Deleon was accused of killing retirees Tom and Jackie Hawks in 2004 in order to steal their $500,000 boat and life savings. He was also accused of killing another man in 2003 in a separate incident.
…once out at sea, the three men overpowered the couple, handcuffing them and covering their eyes and mouths with duct tape before forcing them to sign and fingerprint title transfer documents for the yacht.
Machain, who testified for the prosecution, told how the terrified couple were then tied to the boat’s anchor and lowered into the sea.  [Source]

And might I add, Danny Bonaduce.  But wait, it gets worse!  A couple months ago, the guy tried to sever his own penis:

Read the rest of this entry »