Joseph Gordon-Levitt sat down with MTV to promote his new film 50/50 and of course the conversation turned to The Dark Knight Rises. He could sit down to announce that the cure for AIDS is Jaden Smith’s bone marrow and the next question would still be: “Are you playing Robin?”
And the answer will still be:
“You know I can’t have this conversation, man.”
Adding: “I’m serious, bro. Chris Nolan is a crazy mother*cker, man. You know that old Rutger Hauer movie Deadlock? Nolan put one of those bomb things on me, except it’s wrapped around my balls, man. You gotta help me, bro!”
But seriously, since that’s neither a yes or a no, the speculation train will keep making the rounds and people will keep believing that Christopher Nolan or any actors working on the third and final installment of his Batman trilogy would even so much as fart out a secret at this point. Or maybe they’re just sending us cryptic messages that can only be deciphered by watching hardcore pornography for the next 48 hours. In which case, I already have 12 hours of practice.
The first teaser for The Hunger Games premiered last night at the MTV VMAs (watch it below), and you could practically hear MTV praying for this to become the new Twilight. It was directed by Gary Ross (Seabiscuit, Pleasantville) and stars nubile Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence, so at least that’s an upgrade over Pouty McLipbite. According to IMDB, it also stars Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson, and Elizabeth Banks. Yay, Caucasians!
In a dystopian future America is now Panem, a nation made up of twelve impoverished districts, all ruled by a militant capitol where technology and excess are a way of life. Every year the capitol holds a televised battle royal, where one male and female teenager from the twelve districts must battle to the death for the pleasure of capitol. When a young hunter from District 12 named Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) sacrifices herself to save her little sister from the games, she embarks on a brave fight for survival that could change a nation. [Screenrant]
When I first heard about it, I thought it sounded like your basic post-apocalyptic, battle-to-the-death movie that they release every four months. But this time, it’s based on a book. Ooh la la!
Despite showing approximately one music video per year, MTV will still air the Video Music Awards this Sunday as some sort of tribute to irony. The show will feature a variety of performances by today’s top music artists, including that one guy who hits women and that girl who dresses funny to distract us from realizing that she’s stealing Madonna’s act, but there will also be a variety of movie stars, including Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen, Taylor Lautner’s abs, Zoe Saldana, Jonah Hill, and the hilarious antics of Jack Black. Dear God, please let him yell. Please.
Jennifer Lawrence will also make an appearance to introduce an exclusive clip of her upcoming film, The Hunger Games, based on the book by Suzanne Collins. MTV is mum on what the clips will include, but thankfully they released a teaser for the clips, featuring MTV’s resident movie person Josh Horowitz, who makes me long for the days of John Sencio and Kennedy.
FilmDrunk favorite and butterscotch sundae Ryan Gosling was on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night to promote his new film Crazy, Stupid, Love, in which he plays loser Steve Carrell’s playboy bachelor friend. But more importantly he brought his dog Patches with him to the show, and Patches was wearing an adorable red sock, so this is clearly the most important news of the day. Of course, his dog’s name isn’t really Patches, but I think we all agree that it should be. Haha Patches, you’re the best!
Anywho, Gosling told Fallon a rather candid story about a recent trip to a Turkish bath house that involved him licking a hairy man’s stomach. It’s pretty gross if you think about it, but since it’s Baby Goose, he probably said please and thank you, and the fat, hairy guy just giggled and blushed and said, “Oh OK, but make it quick.”
Video of Gosling’s Late Night appearance after the jump, as well as the latest edition of MTV’s Josh Horowitz asking Gosling to read “Hey Girl” lines.
I was really trying to avoid any Channing Tatum news today but then MTV reported that C-Tate admitted to being “all good” with his wife’s French kiss with Christina Aguilera in the pop star’s latest music video. So he wanted to come here and give his side.
Awwwwwww yeah, C-Tate’s up in the Drank today wit da dopest news, son. First, tho, I gots to bring the honest tip, yo. C-Tate ain’t slanging the game with the chicken headz the way he bring it to his peeps, right? Sh*t, son. I gots married, like, last year, for real, so the only ass I tap be my girl’s, yo. If you lose respek for C-Tate, I just hope you can one day holla at ya boi again.
And yo girl, dat day is today, aight! C-Tate’s gonna get himself a piece of his wife’s tang, and he’s gonna get durrrrty wit dat ho Christina Aguilera. That’s some fine Latin ass you write yo pops in prison about, ain’t no thang. See, my wife is all, like, a dancer like the C-Tate, heard? She was in my mutha f*ckin’ debut Step Up, breakin’ ya neck with the tittays bouncin’ and sh*t. Dat’s why I was, like, Yo girl, let me put a ring on it, so I can puts my thang on it, legit. And yo, she’s all up in this new X-Tina video now:
Yo, that sh*t’s tight, right? Dat’s my girl, makin’ out with dat ho, son. So I’m all like, Yo girl, if you gets to make out with a ho, why don’t C-Tate get to make out with a ho, too? I heard that freeways are, like, good for a marriage, like it keeps you all, Yo that was some fine new slizzy ass you let me tap girl, I loves you, for real. But then she’s all like, Yo boy, why you tryin’ to get up in Dirty’s grill? I wants to make out with another man, and I’m like, Who, beeyotch? Better ain’t be mutha f*ckin’ Shia LeBeouf or nuthin’, cuz I’ll bring the ruckus, you feel me?
But nah, all’s aight. She gonna let me have a freeway wit a girl she choose, and all I gots to do is kiss another dude, but it ain’t gay, son. I ain’t no fruity pie. I can kiss a dude, right, because I’m an actor, ya heard? I’ll be like, Yo dude, I’m gonna put my tongue in yo mouf, but only because I’m pretendin’ and then all the bitches be like, Oh snap, C-Tate the greatest actor we ever done seen. Then I’m gonna have like a sevensome. Holler.
Yo girl, Burnsy and Cho-Cho is out like a mutha f*ckin’ brussel sprout. Vince gonna be back on Monday wit his Luke Walton ass.
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