Fast and Furious is a gloriously dumb movie franchise that has become incredibly successful selling the dream that anything – fame, fortune, gold necklaces, women, well-moisturized arms – can be yours, as long as you put enough aftermarket body work into your Honda Civic. But what if you don’t have a Honda Civic? What if you only enough for a necklace, an overpriced v-neck, and a bus pass? Fear not, because now you can still pretend to live that stupid dream thanks to Guess, and their clothing line, G. Yes, the Fast & Furious clothing line is called “G.” TO THE PRESS RELEASE! (*drops hand holding flag*)

Utilizing moto racing details, gritty prints and destroyed styles, meeting at the intersection of body conscious and bold designs, this 15-piece capsule captures the spirit of both G by GUESS and the Fast & Furious films — young, bold and sexy. The capsule consists of jackets, graphic print T’s and tanks for men, as well as printed tank tops, a studded moto jacket and a tank dress for women. Accessories such as modern aviator sunglasses, a men’s watch and a signature embellished cap complete this collection of accelerated style. [WallStreetJournal]

Damn, that was kind of a letdown compared to what I was expecting for a press release for a Fast and Furious clothing line. That’s the kind of thing copywriters live for. I LIVE MY V-NECKS A QUARTER TUCK AT A TIME.

“Ayo,  hold this chain and stand on a tire. Ayo, and you, stick your ass out and stand next to that car.” Read the rest of this entry »

This crochet dwarf helmet and beard (SO MUCH BEARD!) seems like a rather elaborate way to keep your tits warm, but I must admit that it is fetching. This is allllmost enough to make wish I’d learned to crochet. Me, I prefer crotchet. It’s like crochet, but with more thrusting. By the way, did you know “crotchet” is a real word? It means “an odd fancy or whimsical notion.” Aren’t you glad we learned something while I was wildly digressing?

This beanie/tit blanket may look labor intensive, but think of it this way: you could teach yourself to crochet and complete one of these in less time than it would take to watch all three Hobbit films. Or, if you wanted to do it Peter Jackson style, you could just attempt this, be completely ineffective the entire time and then have Gandalf come in at the last second and miracle your ass one.

[DeviantArt via IanBrooks]