The Tribeca Film Festival and American Express recently sponsored a “My Movie Pitch” competition asking aspiring filmmakers to film their one-minute movie pitch, the winner gets his or her idea financed. More importantly, Asylum recently went digging for some of the worst of the contest entries, and they. Are. Godd*mn. Amazing.  Above, you can watch the pitch for “Gesundheit.”

“First think: what’s the one thing that everyone has done in their life?  And that’s atchoo, sneeze.  In this movie, that’ll get you killed. Um… I mean, it’s crazy… It’s gonna take place around March, April, so it’s gonna be, like, allergy season… people are gonna start sneezin and dropping. Like flies.  …It’s like a complete disaster movie, but this time… it’s kinda biological.”

“GESUNDHEIT: This time… it’s kinda biological.”  Speedbag my tits, that is a fantastic tagline.  That tagline is so good it could raise Don LaFontaine from the dead.  Meet me after the jump for more.

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Every once in a while, a video comes along that makes me really proud of my people, especially the New Jersey subspecies.  This one’s called Guido Beach, and though it’s not a movie yet, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.  You know, if you see yourself on video and it crosses your mind that people could reasonably assume you’re a new Sacha Baron Cohen character, it might be time for a lifestyle change.  I’m just sayin.
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