I’d buy that pitch. For a dollar.
07.07.10The Tribeca Film Festival and American Express recently sponsored a “My Movie Pitch” competition asking aspiring filmmakers to film their one-minute movie pitch, the winner gets his or her idea financed. More importantly, Asylum recently went digging for some of the worst of the contest entries, and they. Are. Godd*mn. Amazing. Above, you can watch the pitch for “Gesundheit.”
“First think: what’s the one thing that everyone has done in their life? And that’s atchoo, sneeze. In this movie, that’ll get you killed. Um… I mean, it’s crazy… It’s gonna take place around March, April, so it’s gonna be, like, allergy season… people are gonna start sneezin and dropping. Like flies. …It’s like a complete disaster movie, but this time… it’s kinda biological.”
“GESUNDHEIT: This time… it’s kinda biological.” Speedbag my tits, that is a fantastic tagline. That tagline is so good it could raise Don LaFontaine from the dead. Meet me after the jump for more.


Every once in a while, a video comes along that makes me really proud of my people, especially the New Jersey subspecies. This one’s called Guido Beach, and though it’s not a movie yet, I’m keeping my fingers crossed. You know, if you see yourself on video and it crosses your mind that people could reasonably assume you’re a new Sacha Baron Cohen character, it might be time for a lifestyle change. I’m just sayin.