George Lucas on the phone with me.

Movie Ideas For Hollywood To Make Movies With

As you might already know, I drink a lot of alcohol and have a lot of brilliant ideas while doing so. Most of the ideas are for movies I am going to write and/or pitch to fancy executives in Hollywoodland. I write my ideas down on napkins, coasters, and one time on a leaf. I figured I’d share them, and even elaborate on some of them. I also found cool posters for the films on Shutterstock. Read on if you are interested in reading on.

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Hooray, it’s everyone’s favorite time of the week! New Frotcast time! This week, we brought on Joe Sinclitico (the comedian formerly known as Joe King) to give us that feeling of fear mixed with delight and anticipation that we get every time Joe opens his mouth. On the space docket this week: our new favorite news personality, GustAHvo Alma-DOE-var (see below), Peter Dante and the epic existential buffoonery of his LAX bro video, Skyfall, Lincoln, Joe’s movie pitches (such as “Dalai Lamas,” starring Lorenzo Lamas and his special needs son who’s the reincarnation of Tibetan royalty), and how Taylor Lautner seems like a malfunctioning robot. No rules, just right. (What? That is an original slogan that I came up with on my own).

Check out the brand-new Frotcast.com to buy the Chicago Frotcast download ($1) or Ben’s limited-edition t-shirt featuring Bret’s squirrel painting.

Subscribe on iTunes (PLEASE RATE THE PODCAST!). My favorite review so far: “Of all the podcasts, this is the best. Take it from me, your old pal Hitler!”

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter (COME ON, JUST 10 MORE TO THE NEXT MILESTONE!). Follow Joe on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Fan us on Facebook.

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"And the super cool black president is played by Denzel Washington."

Iconic movie producer and poor tie-wearer Harvey Weinstein was in Paris yesterday, as French President and global poon scout Nicolas Sarkozy inducted him into the French Legion of Honor for his contributions to cinema. It probably didn’t hurt his chances that he produced The Artist, which won every single Academy Award this year, according to my attention span.

But Weinstein told a reporter from the Times of London that being around a president is no big deal for him, so long as that president isn’t pitching movie ideas at him, like a certain guy who currently occupies 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. His name rhymes with Barack Obama.

“The President sent me a book the other day and said ‘Why don’t you make this into a movie?’” Weinstein said. “I can’t tell you [what it was]. It was a spy novel.”

“I sent him an email back saying he was the most overqualified book scout I’ve ever had,” he told the Times of London. (Via The Wrap)

Obviously the story just sort of ends abruptly and Weinstein doesn’t even throw us a bone by telling us what book it is, but thankfully I have years of experience as an investigative journalist and I was able to find out which book Obama suggested to Weinstein…

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The Tribeca Film Festival and American Express recently sponsored a “My Movie Pitch” competition asking aspiring filmmakers to film their one-minute movie pitch, the winner gets his or her idea financed. More importantly, Asylum recently went digging for some of the worst of the contest entries, and they. Are. Godd*mn. Amazing.  Above, you can watch the pitch for “Gesundheit.”

“First think: what’s the one thing that everyone has done in their life?  And that’s atchoo, sneeze.  In this movie, that’ll get you killed. Um… I mean, it’s crazy… It’s gonna take place around March, April, so it’s gonna be, like, allergy season… people are gonna start sneezin and dropping. Like flies.  …It’s like a complete disaster movie, but this time… it’s kinda biological.”

“GESUNDHEIT: This time… it’s kinda biological.”  Speedbag my tits, that is a fantastic tagline.  That tagline is so good it could raise Don LaFontaine from the dead.  Meet me after the jump for more.

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Every once in a while, a video comes along that makes me really proud of my people, especially the New Jersey subspecies.  This one’s called Guido Beach, and though it’s not a movie yet, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.  You know, if you see yourself on video and it crosses your mind that people could reasonably assume you’re a new Sacha Baron Cohen character, it might be time for a lifestyle change.  I’m just sayin.
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