Monkey in a turban, monkey on a skateboard, monkey doing karate, monkey doing a rail grind, a Delorean — Yes, 2006′s Spymate really has it all.  Submitter Ryan claims it’s the same monkey from Most Vertical Primate.  If that’s true, that monkey is like Vin Diesel meets Marlon Brando meets a monkey.  Not hard to imagine such a meeting now that I think about it.

DAILY CIRCLE J LINKS

• David Goyer left some show I don’t watch to write Dark Knight sequel.  His absence will be felt… by someone. |GammaSquad|
• Poland accidentally put Pedobear in a newspaper.  Which I guess is no worse than how they built their submarines. |WithLeather|
• Nostalgia is great and all, but let’s not kid ourselves, Saved By the Bell sucked. |WarmingGlow|
• “Terrorism experts” are busy exploring the possibilities of exploding breast implants.  I can see where this is going, horny TSA agents. |FListed|
• 15 movie posters with appropriate video game names. |UnrealityMag|
• What would’ve happened if Marty McFly went back in time and actually followed through on boning his mom.  Finally.  It always bugged me that McFly was acting like such a pussy about that. |CollegeHumor|
• You don’t have to read the squishy love stuff, but if you’ve got the time, vote for my friends. Yes this is shameless, but I’d rather they win than someone who wouldn’t invite me. |UWC|
• 2 Girls 1 Phone. |Atom|
• Wanna learn how to shoot people from a helicopter?  ’Course ya do. |G4|
• The six most successful career redefining roles. |Pajiba|
• The always epic fan-fiction Friday. |ToplessRobot|
• Road to the Oscars Best Actress showdown. |ScreenJunkies|
• 25 pictures of Verne Troyer with hot chicks. |HolyTaco|

[Cats pic via thisguy via Buzzfeed (even though they almost never credit me for stuff they find here), thanks to Burnsy for sending the PSA]

So yesterday, I brought you the trailer for MVP: Most Vertical Primate, as part of my ongoing Forgotten Classics coverage.  Specifically, I identified the performance of airpunching guy, aka The Last Airpuncher, who, between the 4 and 6 second marks of the trailer, managed to steal the entire movie.  And even though I was too lazy to make a .gif animation myself, a kind soul named Ted was nice enough to do it for me.  And… it’s glorious.  He. Just. Keeps. Punching. The Air.  Look at him. He’s amazing.  He must be a method actor. He was probably doing that all week, suffering for his art in the way of dizziness and rotator cuff injuries.  Can anyone identify this fine thespian?  He must be singled out, and awarded the FilmDrunk metal of honor.  That’s right, I spelled it metal, and it wasn’t an accident.  Unlike your sister.  (*pushes a monkey in the goal, punches air*)

Last week I posted the trailer for MXP: Most Xtreme Primate. As part of an ongoing effort to bring you more ape-related footage, I did some research and found out that it was actually a sequel to a little film called MVP: Most Vertical Primate, the trailer for which you see here (in German {actually Dutch, a thousand apologies}, because everything’s better in German, especially feces porn).

You may notice some fine reaction shot work from Home Improvement‘s Al Borland, but I post this to recognize another perfomance: the guy air punching in the foreground between the 4 and 6 second mark.  In two seconds he manages to steal the entire film.  From an ape on a skateboard, no less. Do you know how hard it is to steal from a chimp?  They have thumbs on their feet!  I. Can’t. Stop. Rewinding.  I can only dream of the capacity to be as happy about anything as he is about an ape scoring a goal in ice hockey. This man needs to be identified.  He needs to be recognized. He needs to be given a prize.  The director should buy his family a house like the Slumdog kids.  FilmDrunkards, behold.  I give you… THE FINEST TWO SECOND PERFORMANCE IN ALL OF CINEMA.