One of the great mysteries of Hollywood is how Hasbro and Universal got a respected director like Ridley Scott, who has three Best Director Oscar noms, a Best Picture, a knighthood, and presumably a lot of money already, to agree to direct a movie about a board game.  Meanwhile, Scott’s Robin Hood movie started out as an idea to tell Robin Hood from the Sheriff’s perspective, and it ended up looking like regular Robin Hood, but with flaming arrows and Russell Crowe.  So it’ll be interesting to see how his latest project, er, evolves, considering a toy company has final story approval.  Here’s what Scott recently told ComingSoon:

We asked Scott if the game would be referenced in the movie at all other than the title. “Yes, absolutely,” he said. “It’s a Hasbro film and they have the game. That was a tough thing to crack in terms of the screenplay because first off, many would want to integrate literally the shaking of the dice and the throwing of the dice into the board. I couldn’t really get past that. I wanted to just make a movie about the idea of greed. I told them you know your game can turn your sweetest, dearest aunt into a demon – a nightmare of greed. So that’s what we’re going to do.”

We also asked, given the current economic situation, whether the project will have a tougher look at the real estate market. “Completely. It’s a blood bath. It was really bad behavior. It’s [going to be] a comedy,” Scott added.

Ridley Scott went on to say, “So what I’m saying is, with my film that was conceived and intended entirely as a two-hour commercial and re-branding opportunity for a toy everyone already owns, I really wanted to drive home the point that greed is bad, and that it can make even a good person do awful, terrible, silly, ridiculous, stupid things.  …Hey, why’s everyone looking at me like that?”

Collider recently got the chance to talk to Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, the guy behind the idea to make movies out of boardgames. Put on your helmets, because it’s about to get stupid.  (*record scratch*)

“’Candy Land’ is not just about the board game.  If you really think about it, it’s an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board.”

F-ck yourself.

“’Monopoly’ has this wonderful history.  If you’ll remember, “Monopoly” was literally invented at The [Great] Depression, so that idea, this fiction that’s really there, this non-fiction fiction that’s really there in the game and in the fact that there’s such great roots to this brand and the history of the brand, we bring this to life with a story about families.”

F-ck yourself.

“Well Ridley did have an idea.  He grew up on “Monopoly” over in the UK and “Monopoly” is a brand that’s all over the world.  But for Ridley, he’s always been a guy that’s created these great big worlds and so for us, “Monopoly” is this great big world that will look like our world but of course there are certain things about it that make it uniquely a “Monopoly” kind-of-world.”

F-ck yourself.

“Oh, I’m not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it’s everything you could imagine in a “Battleship” movie.  It’s really a phenomenal idea.” [via Collider, who also has the video]

The man is a geyser of stupid.

Ridley Scott, who just last week was announced as the director of an Alien prequel, is now said to be adapting everyone’s favorite high school English book Brave New World for Universal.  Hollywood Reporter reports that Scott will be “producing with an eye to direct”, while Leonardo DiCaprio will “produce with an eye to star.”  Forest Whitaker, meanwhile, is said to be reading the book “with an eye to the floor.”

Much of the timing going forward will depend on the script. Scott is not committed to direct any go projects beyond “Robin Hood,” his period actioner which is shooting in England. DiCaprio is shooting the Christopher Nolan adventure tale “Inception” but does not have a movie lined up after that.

“Brave” has had several go-rounds on television, including a Leonard Nimoy-Peter Gallagher pic on NBC in 1998. But Huxley’s idea-rich novel hasn’t had a shot on the big screen.

Huxley sets his book in a seemingly perfect 26th century world that has achieved harmony by tightly controlling birth, which takes place mainly in laboratories, and outlawing family. The world is populated by a series of five castes, each with its own defined roles.

Characters who figure in to the story are Bernard, a lower-caste member, and Lenina, the woman with whom he is infatuated. DiCaprio is would likely play Bernard, who is persecuted when the leaders of the society find his behavior antisocial.

I’m excited to see what Ridley Scott could do with Brave New World, but not if it means we never get to see his big-screen adaptation of Monopoly.  Who will play the thimble?  And what of the flying shoe?  I WON $10 IN A BEAUTY CONTEST AND I’M DYING TO SPEND IT ON A MONOPOLY MOVIE, GODDAMMIT!

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Which film paints the bleakest version of the future?

Hasbro is spending a bunch of money making a series of shameless, two-hour commercials for their toys, and CEO Bryan Goldner recently tried to defend his decision.  Thing is, the economy’s on everyone’s mind right now.  And Monopoly (which they hired Ridley Scott to direct) is totally economy-related! So you see?  It actually couldn’t be more relevant!

“The whole world is about the financial markets,” Goldner told MTV News. “You can’t turn on the news today without understanding the financial markets and what’s going on out there.”  If there is one underlying theme that will resonate with filmgoers across the world right now, it’s the drama behind money and houses. Owning railroads and big red hotels may be a little outside of that everyday scope [Editor's Note: Not for Big Red Hotels CEO Leon Silver!], but Goldner sees a feature-length story to be told within the the “personal story” he characterizes as the “Monopoly” experience that is worthy of Ridley Scott’s direction.

And here I was busy with my screenplay about the personal story within the story that characterizes my taking a dump experience.  I thought, if there’s one thing that will resonate with people, it’s taking a dump.

“He’s built these great big worlds of imagination,” Goldner said of the director. “Combine that with Pamela Pettler who’s writing this great script about real people kind of playing a real-life game of ‘Monopoly,’ not the board game, although they’re icons of the game. And then you really get the idea why this story could make sense right now.” [Editor's note: no we don't]

Scott seems to agree. Though he is hesitant to reveal specifics right now, he did corroborate Goldner’s vision. So like it or not, there is a large-scale reality-based “Monopoly” game on its way.

“I have to direct it,”  Scott said. “We have identified a pretty good story and it is fundamentally a movie, not a game, probably describing in a way the characters in the film, the passion of the game, and how the game came about.” [MTV]

Am I missing something? There are no characters in the game.  Though if he makes an origin story about a shoe with wings on it, that might be interesting.  Still I think the operative phrase in there was “I have to direct it.” What they didn’t tell you was that he was looking nauseous and trying to come to grips with reality when he said that.

When a studio flack called something “Lord of the Flies meets Children of Men” last week, I thought the search for the world’s lamest shorthand pitch was over.  Today we have a new contestant.

The Hasbro-Universal collaboration “Monopoly” is jumping a large number of spaces up the board.

Ridley Scott, who has been attached as a producer and has been mentioned as a possible director, is now officially attached to helm the project, with an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic “Blade Runner.” [THR]

New York, 2087.  Frank “Dutch” McGarnicle is a lonely private dick whose three whiskeys before breakfast can’t replace the three kids he hasn’t seen in years or the wife who ran off with a Zhoran.  Sent to find a robot hooker shaped like a shoe with a nasty neurofen habit, he suddenly finds himself trespassing on Park Place, the prized possession of the Tyrell corporation.  Tangled in a web of deceit and intrigue, he’s on the run and he knows they want more than rent, they want… his eyes.