(fight starts at 4:30)

We’ve discussed her before, but to refresh your memory, George Lucas’s daughter, Amanda, is a jiu-jitsu purple belt training out of Fairtex and Gilbert Melendez’s gym here in San Francisco.  She’s technically adopted, but I’m told George breast-fed her himself. Carrying a 1-1 pro MMA record going into Saturday’s fight with Hikaru Shinohara at DEEP 55 in Tokyo, she entered the ring to the Star Wars theme (chosen by her or the Japanese promoters, we don’t know), and pretty much dominated the fight after scoring an early takedown. And that wasn’t even the most interesting thing to happen.

After a few minutes of effective (not to mention HAWT) ground and pound, Lucas locks in a tight armbar at 9:02 of the video. Shinohara attempts a novel kick-to-the-face escape, but her corner inconsiderately throws in the towel to keep her from getting her arm broken. Shinohara immediately makes known her displeasure, shoving the ref before going back to her corner and punching her cornerman right in his Japanese face. Pff, chicks, man. I’m not a doctor, but I think it’s safe to assume that she was on her period.

But poor sportswomanship of her opponent aside, Lucas improves to 2-1, and while she may not have the heaviest hands in the world, she displayed impressive top control. Frankly, she looked like a chip off the old block if you’ve ever seen her dad on a racecar bed.

[via CagePotato]

Here we have the trailer for The Great Fight, which will almost certainly go down as one of the greatest artistic creations of the last thousand years, perhaps million. It’s a film which flows from the idea, “Some autistic kids are savants. What this movie presupposes is, what if one was a savant at CAGE FIGHTING?”

As if that weren’t already the ultimate walk-off home run of a premise, it was directed by Sherri Kauk, the acclaimed, long-time camera operator on Mexico’s “Glam Girls”, and it stars both ROBERT LOGGIA and MARTIN KOVE. Who’s Martin Kove you ask? He’s John f*cking Kreese, that’s who, you ignorant motherf*cker.

The trailer opens with the title, “From the mind of best-selling author Kenneth DelVecchio.”  That’s right, “from the mind.” Our boy Kenny’s going all M. Night Shyamalan on our asses. Clearly his name is worthy of inclusion before the title or any of the footage. And why not? After all, we are talking about the man who wrote such books as “New York Criminal Code of Justice: A Practical Guide,” as well as “Test Prep for New Jersey Code of Criminal Justice,” to say nothing of “Code of Criminal Justice: A Practical Guide to the Penal Statutes.”

From there, we meet a cop who breaks a guy’s wrist because he has a ponytail. Our suspicions that he’s a cop are confirmed in the very next title, which reads, “A Cop…” But before long, we’re meeting our protagonist. A kid introduced as “A student with some very special skills.”

Those special skills? NAMING ALL OF THE US STATE CAPITALS! INCREDIBLE! I haven’t been able to do that since sixth grade, so clearly we’re dealing with a very gifted individual, a Rain Man-like geography machine with a brain like a supercomputer, capable of memorizing UP TO FIFTY FACTS AT A TIME. But soon we found out that he has not only a gift, but a very special disorder. AUTISM. Specifically, the type of autism that makes a person nearly comatose like the characters in Awakenings, but with cerebral palsy hands. FEEL FREE TO BOUNCE A BASKETBALL OFF HIS HEAD, TOMMY, HE HAS AUTISM!

But as a wise movie starring Sylvester Stallone once told me, “Once you’re pushed, killin’s as easy as breathin’.” It is much the same with an autistic cage-fighting savant. You push him and he will beat you up in gym class, even if you are a trained MMA fighter who trains at a gym where the fighters spar in prison jumpsuits. And that’s when it happens. ROBERT F*CKING LOGGIA. This movie stars Robert Loggia, who growls his Robert Loggia growl at an autistic MMA prodigy in order to toughen him up. Game over. The Great Fight could go down as the best movie in history.

After the jump, my favorite TubeChop I’ve ever made.

Read the rest of this entry »

Next month, adult film company Digital Playground is releasing Fighters, an “epic blockbuster” MMA-themed romp starring Kayden Kross and FilmDrunk’s favorite screeching hyena, Jesse Jane. According to the film’s press release (NSFW here), Fighters is your standard girls from different walks of life overcoming their own obstacles in a collision course meeting of their fists. And there’s mixed martial arts involved, too.

Jesse Jane® and Kayden Kross are two beautiful, passionate girls, from opposite walks of life that come together in a battle of lust and unyielding wills to fight it out in a stealthy boxing match. Riley Steele™ plays Jesse’s streetwise naughty sister and Stoya is Kayden’s equally privileged best friend. And BiBi Jones™ stars as the new girl in town who sleeps with Jesse’s dad creating even more fighting. The intense physical sparring both in and out of the ring leads to some fierce sexual encounters.

If there’s not a joke in this movie about Channing Tatum’s burnt penis, then I am going to be very disappointed. But while the film sounds like your standard portrayal of popular pugilistic pornography, it turns out that there was a little heat on the set that wasn’t caused by KY Warming Gel.

Read the rest of this entry »

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

The whole crew was back for this week’s Frotcast, which included NOT ONE BUT TWO guests. Lindy West came on to read hard-boiled Twitter fiction from DrunkExpatWriter (you may remember him from last week?). The secret ingredient to his work is “anal rape.” We also brought on all-star commenter and Twitter impresario Pauly Dangerously to play the UFC Special Skills game. You know how before every UFC fight they put up a graphic with three bullet points showing a fighter’s special skills?  Stuff like “Heavy hands,” “College wrestler,” etc.? We all made lists of UFC Special Skills we’d like to see.  Things like “Crazy ‘Bout Elvis,” “Believes in Jesus,” “Loves to laugh,” “Does great Christopher Walken,” and my favorite, which was Brendan’s, “Yells out what he’s about to do.”

Email us at Frotcast@Gmail.com, Subscribe on iTunes, and download this week’s episode here (right-click, “save as.”) We’d love to hear your hard-boiled twit fic submissions, UFC Special Skills, and ESPECIALLY ideas for new games. Episode notes and time stamps:

• 3:44 – Discussing Food Network’s new I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-satire show, EXTREME CHEF!!! (promo after the jump)
• 7:55 – Brendan’s idea for an Oregon Trail reality show
• 14:42 – Email from reader Zach, “Poop Transplant Round Table.”
• 20:40 – The UFC Special Skills Game with Pauly
• 37:22 – Hard-boiled Twitter Fiction with Lindy West. (*finger snaps*)  SUBMIT YOUR OWN!
• 47:00 – Talking Transformers 3, which Ben liked, because he is a child. I posit that there are two types of human characters in Transformers, “zombies” and “Daffy Ducks.”
• 1:04:00 – The biggest movie flops of 2011.  Can you guess them?
• 1:15:00 – My stories about working on infomercials, including the bodybuilder from the Ab Scissor commercial who measured his pee in measuring cups to keep track of liquid intake.

Fantasy Box Office Standings and Extreme Chef “Sizzle Reel” below…

Read the rest of this entry »

Soul Surfer, the inspirational true story of a young girl who courageously got her arm bitten off by a shark, became the surprise hit of spring, grossing almost $41 million thus far on a modest $18 million budget, and winning fans along the way.  Apparently one such fan is former UFC lightweight champ BJ Penn, seen above licking an opponent’s blood off his gloves (oh sure, but when my doctor does the same thing, he gets fired).  As Penn recently told Inside MMA’s Ron Kruck:

BJ: “You know what? People might think it’s a long shot from this point out, but I really would like to be the world champ again at 170 pounds, you know, and I try to hold out as long as I can and when I get knocked off, because everyone’s going to get knocked off, I’d love to go back to 155 and win one more time. If I could do that, I can go to sleep at night. It would be much easier, you know, I don’t know any specific names or whoever the champion is at that time, you know. … I really want to be world champ again. You know, I was watching that Soul Surfer movie the other day, the girl (Bethany Hamilton) who lost her arm… and if she can go out and keep surfing professionally, I can go get another world title.” [BloodyElbow via Fightlinker]

I won’t bore you with the details, but BJ Penn is an eccentric dude, and it is highly unlikely that he was being anything but completely earnest when he said that.  It’s funny to think of a blood-drinking nutjob who fights people for a living being inspired by the story of a 14-year-old surfer girl, but I’m sure this happens all the time.  It’s like Ben Roethlisberger always used to say, “So I was in the women’s sh*tter, trying to get this skank to give me a beej, but she was being a prude.  And at first I was like, ‘Oh well, there’s other whores who’ll need to use the toilet.’  But then I thought, wait, f*ck that. You know who wouldn’t have taken no for an answer? Seabiscuit.”