Though distributor 20th Century Fox hasn’t officially commented, a few reviewers have noticed that even on the “unrated” DVD versions of Miss March, the word ‘retard’ has been carefully excised. 

There’s a scene in which two abstinence promoters are trying to frighten kids into never having sex, and they share a story about a teenager who smoked while she was pregnant, causing the baby to come out a “crack head.” Except the actress’ lips clearly weren’t saying “crack head.” Her lips looked like they were saying “retard.” The baby is mentioned twice more, each time with “retard” replaced with “crack head.” Later in the film, someone’s behavior is described as “stupid,” and again it’s clear that he originally said “retarded.” [Cinematical]

It’s highly probable Fox made the changes in response to protests of the kind that happened when Tropic Thunder came out last year.  Bottom line, we all know these PC retards are out there and will protest anything they think they can hijack to advance their agenda, and it only makes it worse when you actually pay attention to them.  Not that anyone should expect anything different from Fox.  But go ahead, retards, ban the word retard.  Fine.  Now make up a new, “nice” word you think we should use instead and we’ll all go along with that too.  And you know what’ll happen?  10 years from now retardism will remain uncured and your new word will be our insult.   Why?  Because no matter what you call it, mental deficiencies are undesirable.  And that’s not going to change until we all work in Human Resources at Fox.

Opening this week:

• Miss March
  A paint-by-numbers teen comedy, EXCEPT that it stars The Whitest Kids You Know.  Could be funny.  Regardless, that “I’m a F-ck a White Bitch” song is irresistibly catchy.
• Last House on the Left
  Oh joy, a horror remake.  These are, like, always good. You know when you put “based on a true story” in a horror movie trailer, you’re basically skull f-cking the English language, right? My bad, I was thinking of the Haunting in Connecticut ads.
  
• Race to Witch Mountain
  If you’re seeing this, it’s probably a ploy to get your dumb wiener kids to shut up for two hours. In which case, I feel your pain.  And by that I mean, sucks to be you.
• The Edge of Love
  Had to post the trailer after the jump as this one’s slipped completely under my radar.  Nonetheless, Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller in a period piece?  Why, you’d need an army to keep me out of that theater!
• Sunshine Cleaning (trailer also after the jump)
  Amy Adams and Emily Blunt get into the cleaning-up-crime scenes business.  This might be my pick for the week.  I used to think Emily Blunt was hot until I saw this picture.  *douche chills*

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^{This is how it’s done, Joaquin.}

After the jump, I’ve got the NSFW red-band trailer for Miss March, which would look like a horrible Maxim movie or a direct-to-DVD American Pie sequel… only it stars two of the Whitest Kids You Know and Craig Robinson from The Office.  Just to set this clip up, Whitest Kid Zach Cregger needs a prom limo, so he calls his best friend, Whitest Kid Trevor Moore*, who sets him up with rapper “Horsedick dot Mpeg”, played by Craig Robinson.  Then we cut to Horsedick’s music video for “I’m a F-ck a White Bitch.”  I have to admit, I gigglequeefed. It’s amazing what a crappy, middle-of-the-road teen comedy can become when people who are actually funny get involved.

^{*Quoth… the traven?}
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The Whitest Kids You Know are a sketch comedy group who’ve apparently had a show on IFC for three seasons now, though I still know them mainly as the guys behind “Slow Jerk” and “The Slapping Sketch”, both of which I’ve included after the jump. Watch them, they’re awesome, I promise.  Meanwhile, the trailer above is for Miss March, written, directed, and starring Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore of the Whitest Kids, and Craig Robinson of The Office (as well as solid smaller roles in Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno). Miss March is about a guy who falls into a coma before he can have sex with his prom date and when he comes to four years later, she’s a playmate.  And that becomes the vehicle for a wacky road movie about trying to get to the Playboy Mansion.  Get it?  Vehicle?  Road Movie?  Boy, metaphors, huh?  What. Would. We. Do. Without them.

According to IMDB, it also stars Josh Fadem as “Flava Flav Kid”.  I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that.
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