What’s wrong with her face? The trailer for Miley Cyrus’s “Sooo Undercover”

Written by Vince Mancini / 12.07.12

When Miley Cyrus’s So Undercover was first reported, it was called “I’m, Like, Sooo Undercover,” a script by Allan Loeb, who’s either a brilliant supervillain who uses his understanding of Hollywood execs’ weaknesses to manipulate the system for his own financial gain, or some kind of idiot savant who just happens to have his greasy sausage fingers on the pulse of the studio script-buyer zeitgeist. Loeb traffics exclusively in films that sound like serious parodies, such as Here Comes the Boom, Adam Sandler’s Just Go With It, The Dilemma, and that one where Jason Batemen switches Jennifer Aniston’s semen. He writes three of these a year, and probably spends a bout a half hour on each. Like I said, possibly a genius. There are a few things you should know about his latest before you watch the trailer below.

  • Miley Cyrus plays a hard-nosed private investigator. That’s right, MILEY CYRUS. A private dick.
  • FBI agent Jeremy Piven needs her to go undercover at a sorority house. Just like Harland Williams and Martin Lawrence in a fat suit before her. It’s the plot of almost every teen movie.
  • Is there a scene where a flamboyant gay man cringes at having to turn a no-nonsense Sandra Bullock type into Miss Congeniality? YOU BET YOUR TIRED STEREOTYPES THERE IS!

Wasn’t a bumpkin getting made up to look purdy the entire plot of Hannah Montana? It’s like this chick’s entire career is based on people wanting to give her a haircut.

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Holy Supercut, Batman! (Morning Links)

Written by AMB / 08.14.12

[via HYST]

MORNING LINKS
Exclusive Supercut: 5-Second Films At The Movies |Film Drunk|

Ben reviews Total Recall, and author Matthew Parker sheds more light on prison life. |Frotcast|

Breaking Badass Power Rankings: ‘Dead Freight’ |Warming Glow|

Well, that explains it. [via Tastefully Offensive]

Holy Crap, Miami Heat Porn Star Oral Celebration Actually Happened |With Leather|

Ultra-Realistic ‘Futurama’ Art Is The Best Kind Of Nightmare Fuel |Gamma Squad|

Peter King Draws No Conclusions From The Preseason, Other Than The Ones
He Does |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Summer On Smash: Team USA Basketball Brings Home Olympic Gold |Smoking Section|

20 Greatest Non-Sporting Moments Of The 2012 London Olympics
Immortalized In GIF Form |UPROXX|

Guantanamo Bay Detainees Are Enjoying ‘Fresh Prince In Jail,
And Who Can Blame Them? |Screen Junkies|

Mountain Dew Contest Hijacked By 4Chan |Buzzfeed|

Germans Deliver An Important Message For All Of Mankind |Videogum|

Paul Ryan’s Surprising Take On Jon Stewart |HuffPost Comedy|

“Is someone going to shop the president with a mohawk or do I have to do
everything around here” |Daily What|

11 Time Traveler Urban Legends That Pretty Much Debunk Themselves |Mental Floss|

The Headlines of The Gotham Gazette During The Dark Knight Rises |Unreality|

Jean-Claude Van Damme Had An Affair With Kylie Minogue
While Filming ‘Street Fighter’ |The Superficial|

Steve Must Love ‘Silence Of The Lambs’ |Work LOLs|

12 Pictures of People Being Friendly with Sharks |College Humor|

Thousands of disappointed fans immediately book reservations at Hedonism
|Fark|

8 Husband-Wife TV Arguments That Stung As Much As Your Own Parents
Fighting |Pajiba|

Here’s a tree Odd Future fans set ablaze in the middle of L.A. |Death + Taxes|

Nothing Will Make You Hungrier Than This Amazing Five Guys Review |Hypervocal|

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Friday Free for All: Australian News Anchor Hates Miley Cyrus’s Voice Too

Written by Vince Mancini / 06.22.12

My mind is blown anew pretty much any time Miley Cyrus opens her mouth. “This chick is famous for singing?” I ask myself every time I hear that grating voice of hers. She sounds like a horse kicked her in the face and she swallowed her nose. UNPLUG YOUR DAMNED NOSE! Anyway, it seems I’m not alone in my bafflement, as Karl Stefanovic of Australia’s Nine News morning program does a pretty good Miley Cyrus impression of his own. And let’s face it, everything’s funnier with an Australian accent. (“Beautiful and talented,” really?).

In my Karl Stefanovic research, I discovered that he’s won a “Gold Logie,” “considered by some the most prestigious award in the Australian television industry.” My God, that is the most Australian-sounding thing I’ve ever heard.

“Yeh, mate, the Gold Logie. It comimorahtes the tahme Big Bill Rogahs wiz voted loudest cattle drovah, and awl the blokes from Maroolabah hocked gobbahs on ‘is jumpah. Big Bill’s woidely considahed oztraalia’s fihst news anchah, on account of how ‘e’d take the piss outta everyone. We’ve been givin’ the gold logie evah since that day, back in noint-een eighty two.”

UPDATE: How did I not realize this was the same guy who told the Dalai Lama pizza joke? This guy rules.

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Frotcast 99: Miley vs. Miley, Hot Goss, & Laremy Talks Dark Shadows, The Avengers

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.10.12

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, in honor of President Obama telling us that we had to gay marry each other, we brought on Burnsy for a special, same-sex wedding edition of HOTT GOSS™, including our picks for who we would gay marry. SPOILER ALERT: It turns out John Travolta has monkey feet. Then we talk about Miley Cyrus’s wildly successful new film, LOL, and compare her actual voice to the voice you hear on her CDs, which, surprisingly, are wildly different. Later on, we bring on Laremy so that we can make fun of his morning show appearance, then talk Dark Shadows, The Avengers, Girls, trying not to turn into Peter Travers, and even get earnest-ish about politics before it all explodes in a hail of giggles. Jeez, that went downhill fast.

Subscribe to the Frotcast on iTunes (leave us a review!). Email us at Frotcast@Gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030.

NOTE: There’s some dead air between 14:37 and 15:22 right now that will be there until I can re-edit and re-upload. Apologies.

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Miley Cyrus is Watching You Poop & Your Morning Links

Written by AMB / 05.09.12

[via RoboShark]

MORNING LINKS
PICTURE: Avengers in High School – Hawkeye had a bomb-ass flat top mullet |Film Drunk|

12 Steps to Making the Next Season of ‘The Office’ More Watchable |Warming Glow|

Listen to us pitch Wet Dream on Elm Street director Lee Roy Myers our porn parody ideas. |Frotcast|

Nobody f*cks with the Jesus! [via thearcticbear]

With Leather, With Love: The World’s Fattest Woman Is Getting Married! |With Leather|

Is This What The Coming Apple HDTV Will Look Like? |UPROXX|

Real Life “Pulp Fiction”: Memphis Robbers Macabre Torture Tactics |Smoking Section|

Who’s Gotten Around More: The Justice League Or The Avengers? |Gamma Squad|

John Travolta’s Accused of Molesting A Second Male Masseur Now |TheSuperficial|

How To Poop Like a Child |Videogum|

The 20 Greatest Maurice Sendak Quotes |Buzzfeed|

10 Creations Inspired by “Where the Wild Things Are” |College Humor|

The next Jim Abbott |TheDailyWhat|

Bandersnatch Cummerbund: Washington Post’s Amazing Benedict Cumberbatch Name Change |HuffPost Comedy|

‘Red Neck Island’ Is A New Reality Show, And Stone Cold Steve Austin’s The Host |ScreenJunkies|

Indians offended that The Avengers depicts their third world hellhole as a third world hellhole |Fark|

10 Things You Might Not Know About Maurice Sendak |Mentalfloss|

Alex Tanney, Trick Shot Quarterback, Gets NFL Tryout |Guy Speed|

This is What the NFL in Los Angeles Would Look Like |Brobible|

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