Oh, Justin, don’t you know accepting a Marine’s invitation to ball can lead only to heartbreak and inflatable butt pillows? I should know, I used to live with Uproxx’s own combat veteran, Matt Ufford (he was gentle, but that’s rare). But yeah, the story is that a girl Marine (*RECORD SCRATCH*), following her male counterpart’s example who asked Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps Ball, made her own video asking Justin Timberlake to be her date, and he has accepted.

“I don’t feel backed into a corner at all,” Timberlake joked when asked by a reporter whether he would go. “I’ll tell you what, I accept. But not because she shouted out one of my songs, which I do love … and not because she had all those beefcake military guys behind her to try to intimidate me, although that probably would have worked by itself.
“I don’t get asked out, ever, so I was very flattered by that,” he said, calling it an “honor.”
Timberlake had played a pivotal role in convincing Kunis to accept Sgt. Scott Moore’s YouTube invitation to the Marine Corps Ball. Then enter Cpl. Kelsey De Santis [YES, ENTER HER, JUSTIN! YAY, DOUBLE DOUBLE ENTENDRE!].
“So, Justin, you want to call out my girl Mila. Well, I’m going to call you out and ask you to come to the Marine Corp Ball with me on Nov. 12 in Washington, D.C.,” De Santis said in her own video invite. De Santis is currently the only woman serving at the Martial Arts Center for Excellence at Marine Corps Base Quantico. [FoxNews]

Timberlake went on to say “If my schedule works out, I’ll do it. I’d love to do it.” Whatever, dude, people will work around your schedule. You’re Justin Timberlake, not a heart surgeon. Meanwhile, despite some conflicting reports, Mila Kunis has said several times now that she’s accepting her invitation. If this works out without anyone getting date raped, it could set a fine precedent. While I’m not a Marine myself, I can do almost ten push-ups. But so far, my requests to motorboat Diora Baird have fallen on deaf ears. Come on, baby, don’t be such a prude, your country needs you.

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Take it from me, asking famous actresses you’ve never met out on dates via YouTube usually doesn’t work. But that didn’t stop Marine Sergeant Scott Moore, who gave the rest of us hope when Mila Kunis agreed to accompany him to the Marine Corps Ball in November. I think the secret is that you have to be holding a gun.

Sgt. Scott Moore, of the 3rd Battalion 2nd Marines in Musa Qala, Afghanistan, last week set up a YouTube page and posted a video [after the jump] asking the “Friends With Benefits” star to accompany him to the Marine Corps Ball on November 18th in Greenville, North Carolina.

And when FOX411 asked Kunis about the invitation over the weekend, her “Benefits” co-star, Justin Timberlake, assured Moore he was going to make it happen.
“Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? You need to do it for your country,” Timberlake asked Kunis excitedly, before sending out a direct message to Moore. “I’m going to work on this, man. This needs to go down.”
After questioning her publicist if she knew about the invitation, the clearly flattered 27-year-old actress agreed.
“I’ll go, I’ll do it for you,” she said, turning to Timberlake. “Are you going to come?”
“They don’t want me! They want you,” Timberlake responded. “You need to do it for your country.”
Kunis nodded.
“I’ll do it,” she confirmed. [Fox411]

QUIT BEING SO GD COOL, TIMBERLAKE! If I took one lesson from this, it’s that walking through a military base holding your rifle is a lot more impressive to the ladies than walking through their backyard holding the severed head of their pet. Who knew? Hey, Diora Baird, Fluffy says I love you (*manipulates dead cat mouth*).  Seriously though, a hot, famous actress overlooking a potential date-rape threat to fulfill a wish from a combat veteran is the best recruitment commercial the Marines could ever get.  Way better than that one where the black guy learns to swim.

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In case you needed any convincing that Friends with Benefits, starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, and No Strings Attached, starring Ludacris, were basically the same movie, here’s a mash-up from the team at Blind Film Critic that makes a fairly strong case.   What’s that?  You didn’t need any convincing? Well I suppose I should’ve guessed that.  Even IMDB knows it:

Okay, so it’s not exactly “news.”  In fact, the mash-up is more boring than it should be, because if you zone out for a second, you forget that it’s actually made up of two different movies.  I probably should’ve just called this post “a split-second glimpse of Mila Kunis in a bra.”

Yesterday we touched on the controversy over how much of Natalie Portman’s dancing in Black Swan was performed by a stunt double, a topic we quickly abandoned in favor of a thorough investigation of just how much of that thong butt in the Your Highness trailer was hers.  But God forbid anyone care about my Pulitzer-caliber reporting, everyone’s still hung up on the ballerina crap. Darren Aronofsky and Mila Kunis have now both weighed in on the matter.  To recap, here’s what the ballerina double, Sarah Lane, who earned $6,000 $25,000 for her work, had to say:

“They wanted to create this idea in people’s minds that Natalie was some kind of prodigy or so gifted in dance and really worked so hard to make herself a ballerina in a year and a half for the movie, basically because of the Oscar,” says Natalie Lane. “It is demeaning to the profession and not just to me. I’ve been doing this for 22 years…. Can you become a concert pianist in a year and a half, even if you’re a movie star?”

“I mean, from a professional dancer’s standpoint, she doesn’t look like a professional ballet dancer at all and she can’t dance in pointe shoes. And she can’t move her body; she’s very stiff,” says Lane. “I do give her a lot of credit because in a year and a half she lost a lot of weight and she really tried to go method and get into a dancers head and really feel like a ballet dancer.”

If I could paraphrase, “Meee-yow.”  Here’s Darren Aronofsky’s two cents:

“Here is the reality. I had my editor count shots. There are 139 dance shots in the film. 111 are Natalie Portman untouched. 28 are her dance double Sarah Lane. If you do the math that’s 80% Natalie Portman. What about duration? The shots that feature the double are wide shots and rarely play for longer than one second. There are two complicated longer dance sequences that we used face replacement. Even so, if we were judging by time over 90% would be Natalie Portman.

And to be clear Natalie did dance on pointe in pointe shoes. If you look at the final shot of the opening prologue, which lasts 85 seconds, and was danced completely by Natalie, she exits the scene on pointe. That is completely her without any digital magic.” [EW]

(*yawns, suppesses urge to wank dismissively*)  And here’s Kunis’s:

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Laziest. Photoshop. Ever.

Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin have split up, their reps confirmed to the New York Post recently.  In an even more shocking development, Mila Kunis was dating Macaulay Culkin.  Sources say the relationship took a turn for the worse when Mila Kunis realized she had been dating Macaulay Culkin. Thanks, folks, I’ll be here all day, try the veal.  Whackety schmackety do!  Heeeey! So I hoid he refused to perform Kunilingus, and now he’s Home Alon– (*pie to the groin*)

Did Mila Kunis’ breakout role in “Black Swan” contribute to a breakup for the actress, who’s flirting with movie stardom? Kunis’ rep confirms that she and one-time child star Macaulay Culkin have gone their separate ways. “The split was amicable, and they remain close friends,” her rep said. Kunis started dating Culkin seven years ago, when she starred as the snobby “Jackie” character in “That ’70s Show.” A source said the couple split some time ago but has kept it low-key while Kunis promotes the movie. [NY Post]

Macauley’s going to get a hard time over this, but considering he’s a former child actor who used to hang out with Michael Jackson, just the fact that he’s never killed a family of boaters and tried to cut off his own penis in prison puts him ahead of the game.  Lights Camera Jackson should be so lucky.

Meanwhile, Black Swan is now responsible for Natalie Portman getting knocked up and Mila Kunis being single. …I guess it evens out?  They should film some more lesbian ballerinas, just in case.