This is from a project called Back to the Future, by Buenos Aires photography Irene Werner, in which she had people recreate childhood photographs.  It’s pretty awesome. |Pondly via PaulScheer|

MORNING LINKS

Are children out to kill us all? |Uproxx|

“Paula Deen riding things” is my new favorite thing. |WarmingGlow|

The Craziest Moments Of The 2011 Tokyo Marathon. |WithLeather|

That robot seal can ball. |GammaSquad|

What the hell is Michelle Rodriguez wearing?  You can’t just throw a slip dress on over a wrestling singlet, dude, trust me on this one.

25 ideas for Human Centipede 2. |HolyTaco|

Someone’s idea for a commercial: cats with thumbs. Give him a raise. |TheDailyWhat|

The Fonz joining Kevin James’ MMA comedy, Mixed Martial Farts. |ScreenJunkies|

Anne Hathaway hates James Franco now. Aw, sad dicknose : 3==> (  |TheSuperficial|

Reader email: My girlfriend has a snake in her butt. |BarstoolSports|

A flipbook of Shannon Marie stripping down to her hand bra. |GorillaMask|

When hip hop and movies collide. |UnrealityMag|

8 movie stars as animated characters. |NextMovie|

Brainwaves are the new focus groups. |MovieFone|

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Below is the new trailer for Battle: Los Angeles, which seems to have the collective arm flab of the internet all a-quiver with pre-emptive applause.  Yes, the trailer looks pretty good, very explosion-y.  But I remember thinking the same thing about Independence Day.  And this is still a movie from the director of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake starring Michelle Rodriguez, right?   Just checking.   (You’ll never believe this, but MichelleRod plays a hardcore Latina Marine).  So will it be the next District 9 or the next Skyline?  Either way, I guess we’ll find out on 3-11-2011.

Well, you’ll find out anyway.  That’s the day *I* celebrate 311 day, by taking giant b-loads and bumping “Come Original.”   Whoa, dude, did he just say “amber is the color of my energy?”  That’s, like, (*bong load*) …deep, brah.  (*coughs)

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After the jump, I’ve got new trailers for Battle: Los Angeles, and Beastly, the “edgy teen drama” about learning not to judge a book by its cover.  Beastly stars Alex Pettyfer as Handsome McPopular, a rich high school kid who has it all — money, abs, flowing locks, inexplicable speech-giving opportunities — until one day he pisses off goth witch Mary-Kate Olsen, who turns his eyebrows into Arabic writing. WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW, FARSI FACE?  Hard to say what my favorite part was, because this trailer has everything:

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This is the new international trailer for Battle: Los Angeles, from Jonathan Liebsman, (acclaimed director of… uh… the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake), starring Aaron Eckhardt and Aaron Eckhardt’s chin dimple.   I hope you like alien-invasion movies, because there’s going to be a lot of them.  Besides this one, which makes Roland Emmerich all misty with nostalgia, there’s Skyline, Battleship (the ships fight aliens, if you’ll remember), JJ Abrams’ Super 8, and probably a couple more I’m forgetting.  So far I have to rank Battle: Los Angeles slightly above Skyline on account of the trailer not having awesome dialog like “NO!”, “LOOK OUT!”, and “THEY’RE COMING THIS WAY!” every three seconds.

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The above trailer featuring Michelle Rodriguez playing Citizen Jane in an action-film reimagining of Citizen Kane (“I’d do anything for my Rosebud”) has been making the rounds, along with this poster and tagline, “What would Xanadu?”  The “film” even has an official site, which reads simply:

The 70th anniversary of the film that started it all
Citizen Jane stars Michelle Rodriguez as Charlotte Foster Jane, a lethal assassin hell bent on avenging the murder of her parents in this guns blazing, action packed retelling of Orson Welles [sic] 1941 classic, Citizen Kane.  She will do anything for her Rosebud…

So what’s the story?  Is Hollywood really remaking Citizen Kane to be more spicy and Latin?  Is Rosebud Michelle Rodriguez’ clit? (sample dialog: “I don’t have time to queef,”).   The short answer is… no.

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