Since I know you guys have barely heard anything about this project, here’s a new featurette for James Cameron’s Avatar. A couple thoughts: first, as much as I want to see it, I can’t stop thinking about this comment about it from the other week:
“Good news, we can fly you to an alien planet and graft your DNA with that of an alien, follow that up with a mind-meld thingy, thereby allowing you to infiltrate their species and take them out.”
“And what about my paralysis? How’s that coming?”
“We’re not miracle workers, dude.”
Kind of a big ol’ turd in the Avatar punch bowl when you think about it. Also, who decided it was a good idea to put Michelle Rodriguez in this? She’s impossible to take seriously. She’s like a female Billy Zane. Except hardcore and Latin (a chill just ran down my spine from imagining a hardcore, Latin Billy Zane). And lastly, I don’t think I ever noticed this before, but the material the humans are supposed to be mining is called “unobtainium.” Seriously. It’s said to be found only on Pandora and in Diora Baird’s panties.
UPDATE on ‘unobtainium’: Read the rest of this entry »
UPDATE: Trailer now working and in HD
James Cameron’s Avatar doesn’t open until December 18th, but already it seems to have divided people dorks on the internet into pro and anti camps. I think the CG looks sorta cheesedick (see above) and I hate 3D, but effects are secondary anyway, and the film earned my cautious optimism based on Cameron’s track record alone.
This new trailer is pretty long and looks good overall. It inspires hope that Sam Worthington is finally in something that doesn’t suck as bad as Terminator Salvation, though it also reminds me that Michelle Rodriguez is in this — she’s so hardcore and Latina, you putos better recognize! Come to think of it, it seems kind of weird that Sam Worthington’s playing basically the same spy-who-abandons-his-infiltration-mission character in this as in Terminator Salvation. I’m thinking he can resolve this conflict with a simple heart transplant. Because the heart is literally all that matters, you guys.
After the jump is the just-released trailer for James Cameron’s Avatar (courtesy of TrailerAddict). The HD trailer was supposed to be available at Apple at 9 AM CST but, surprise, it didn’t work (link may be working now). This Frenchy MSN site has an HD trailer that works if the one below doesn’t suit you, your majesty. I’m still wondering just how badly mishandled the marketing for this movie is going to be. Remember how Fox dropped the ball on Avatar Day? Well it gets worse:
Fox called a do-over and sent out random emails today (some as early as 3am) scuttling the Monday confirmations and asking moviegoers to pick again. So, is the site fixed? Haha, no. The actual physical act of selecting a time went smoothly enough, and there even seemed to be additional showtimes added, but I was amused to find that a simple selection and click-thru produced a random, broken debug menu on the top part of Fox’s confirmation page. Guys, even the fake Avatar trailer had better production values than this whole endeavor. [movieline]
Oh, Fox, I love to hate you so. I’m going to rape you with kindness.
Below are 6 new pictures from Avatar (via ropeofsilicon). The excitement is palpable. Two guys with douchey haircuts fighting over who gets to use the tanning booth first! Giovanni Ribisi and Sigourney Weaver with their hands on their hips (meow)! Sam Worthington staring blankly! Michelle Rodriquez staring blankly while thinking about boobs (allegedly)!
Take this with a grain of salt or whatever food will keep you from being humiliated for believing untruths, but BloodyDisgusting claims a reliable source tells them that Robert Rodriguez’ Machete (which began as a fake trailer in Grindhouse - video after the jump) will star: Michelle Rodriguez (of course), Robert De Niro (wha?), and Jonah Hill (*spit take*). ThePlaylist also reports that Steven Seagal will make an appearance. They say none are signed, but all are “in talks.”
Machete (Trejo) is a Mexican ex-Federale with a gift for wielding a blade, who hides out as a day laborer, who is double-crossed by a corrupt state senator (De Niro).
-DANNY TREJO is returning as “Machete”
-MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ (”Lost”, Fast & Furious, Avatar) is said to be playing “Luz”.
-JONAH HILL will play “Julio”.
-Lastly, a legend of our time, ROBERT DE NIRO, will take on the role of “Senator McLaughlin”. [possible dialog: "That's right, senator. Who's Mclaughing now?"] [via Bloody-Disgusting]
I had to check if Jonah Hill’s character would be Julio as in “Hoo-lio,” or Julio as in “Jew-lio” — to which he seems better suited. ThePlaylist confirms that he would indeed be playing a Cholo. (Do jour taxes? Chale, homes, I’m too sleepy.) Either way, if any of this actually goes down, Machete will be the most crazily cast movie since The Expendables. In fact, he should call it “The Mexpendables.” Wow, let’s see how much more racism I can cram into this post. Hey, did you guys know all Indians are drunks? Hurr, look at me, I own a casino. *glug glug glug*
