I have to cover news, and sadly, not every story can be puppy dogs and ice cream and Zac Efron getting peed on. This one is much less fun. You may remember Transformers 3 extra Gabriela Cedillo, who was left with brain injuries after an accident on set. Her family sued Paramount, and now the LA Times is reporting that she received an $18.5 million settlement.

Gabriela Cedillo, 26, was driving a car in a background scene when she was struck in the head by a stunt vehicle that broke lose from a cable during filming.
The accident on Sept. 1, 2010, left Cedillo with permanent brain injuries. The Chicago resident had a portion of her skull removed and suffers from memory problems, seizures and is blind in one eye, according to her attorneys.
Cedillo sued Paramount Pictures in October 2010 alleging that the accident was negligently caused by a poor welding job and that Paramount had reneged on an agreement to cover medical costs. This week a Cook County judge approved the settlement.
“They led everyone to believe they were going to take care of her medical bills. They didn’t and she was forced onto a public aid,” Todd Smith, a Chicago attorney who represented Cedillo, said in an interview. “While they make their billions of dollars in gross revenue from the movie, taxpayers are paying medical bills for her.” [LA Times]

The woman, now 26, has permanent brain impairment.  “She lost about a third of the top of her head,” Smith said. Her initial bills totaled $350,000 in 2010. [NBCChicago]

A source tells Deadline that the lawsuit filed in October 2010 would have gone on longer if Michael Bay’s name hadn’t been thrown into the legal mix. But the possibility that the director and his Platinum Dunes production company suddenly were to be pulled in as defendants apparently lit a fire under Paramount to speed a settlement. Today’s news comes after a year and a half of legal maneuvering, including attempts by the studio to move the case from Illinois to California, as well one already failed mediation. Then Paramount approached Cedillo’s attorneys early this year seeking a second mediation. It took just a couple more meetings between the lawyers for the settlement to be reached in late March. [Deadline]

You’d hope with a movie that grosses more than a billion dollars worldwide that you wouldn’t have to sue the studio to get a big settlement out of them for lopping off part of someone’s head, but hey, I guess lawyers gotta eat.

Here’s your picture of Michael Bay being Michael Bay of the day, on the set of his new film Pain and Gain (“Point Break set in the world of bodybuilding”) in Miami. See how he keeps his eyes on their boobs and the camera focused on their vaginas simultaneously? That’s why Michael Bay is a pro. I wonder which one of those girls polishes the best Ferrari? I’m guessing the one second from left. Thicker girls generally polish the best Ferrari, if you know what I mean. (*hits gong, bow tie spins*)

I like to imagine Michael Bay shopping for clothes. “Hmmm, do you have any deeper V’s? Huh, okay, well I guess this will have to do. As long as you have some white cargo pants with really big pockets. I’m gonna need to hold, like, a lot of C4. (*explosion sound*)”

Oh, and it doesn’t say so in the description, but I’m guessing that guy in the red and white is Ken Jeong, who joined the cast a few weeks ago. Giving a subtly understated performance, I’m sure.

[TheSuperficial]

C-Tates added for scale

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Ken Jeong has joined the cast of Michael Bay’s Pain and Gain (previously described as “Point Break with bodybuilders“) which is currently shooting in Miami. Jeong will reportedly play a character named “Johnny Wu,” whom I have little doubt will be hilariously Asian. (As the commenters pointed out, Jeong previously played “Jerry Wang” in Transformers 3; it’s nice to see Michael Bay branching out).

Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson are starring in the pic alongside Ed Harris, Tony Shaloub, Rob Corddry, Anthony Mackie and Bar Paly. The project is based on the true story of body builders in Miami Beach who headed a kidnapping and extortion ring that went awry.

It was big of Ken Jeong to agree to this movie, even after Mark Wahlberg said all those horrible things about his grandpa (I know, I know, Jeong is Korean, it’s still funny if you’re racist). As you can see by the banner pic, Mark Wahlberg and his tiny little T-Rex arms have already been photographed on the set alongside The Rock. (I’d make fun of him for being short, but I’m pretty sure The Rock is like 12 feet tall). Wahlberg’s muscle mass is impressive, but it’s also probably a lot easier to get thick arms when they’re only two apples long. He can barely reach his pockets! He looks like he’d have to tie his silverware to the ends of sticks. “Hey, Dawnny, help me connect these fackin’ strawrs tagethah so I kin drink this wicked mass gainah. I gawt the chawclit flavah this time. The vaniller tastes like fahts.”

“What, does this jokah wanna spah? Don’t he know I wiz in The Bawxah? Bettah hold me back, Da Rawk. If this cawksuckah gets within range I’m gonna knawck his blawk off. POW!”

[pics via Starpulse]

The great entitled dork war of 2012 rages on this week with no hope of an end in sight. Adding fuel to the fire, which was ignited when executive producer Michael Bay announced that the famously mutant turtles would also (or alternatively) be aliens this time around (“edgy, lovable aliens” to be specific), is a new report from Bleeding Cool saying the new live-action reboot scheduled for December will be title simply “Ninja Turtles.” WHAT!? YOU’VE BUTTF*CKED MY INNOCENCE, MICHAEL BAY! I’D LIKE TO REPORT A TURTLE RAPE!

We haven’t been able to get a definite statement as to why this title change is occurring, and our sources are not 100% clear on whether or not the Turtles will indeed be adolescents.
One of our sources has said:
It seems to be driven by marketing. Think of John Carter and how Disney wouldn’t allow for a title with either “Princess” or “Mars”.

And we all know how well that turned out. BUT WAIT, THE NINJA TURTLES MIGHT NOT BE TEENAGERS?!?! This a travesty! I will not stand for ninja turtles who are 32-years-old, like half the people screaming about this! That would just be ridiculous!

Meanwhile, director Jonathan Liebesman (previously of the seminal alien invasion film Battle Los Angeles), has weighed in on edgy, lovable alien-gate:

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"On my count, El Tigre Magnifico!"

A lot has been made over Michael Bay’s announcement that his reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film franchise would feature our favorite pizza-eating reptiles as aliens from another universe, instead mutants exposed to radioactive green ooze. Fans of the franchise – myself included – were all like, “WTF Bay? What did we do to deserve this?” And of course Bay responded, “Chill bro daddies, it’s all good in the gated neighborhood.”

Now Bay has received some support from an unlikely party – TMNT comic book co-creator Peter Laird.

In a post, Laird encouraged fans to “swallow the ‘chill pill’ Mr. Bay recently suggested they take, and wait and see what might come out of this seemingly ill-conceived plan.”

“It’s possible that with enough truly creative brainpower applied to this idea, it might actually work,” he continued. “I’m not saying it’s probable, or even somewhat likely… but it IS possible. However, as I have pondered this further, I have realized that in one way it IS truly a genius notion.” (Via Entertainment Weekly)

Just so we’re clear, Laird is saying that Bay’s decision to change the origins of Leonardo and Co. from mutants to aliens is genius. I mean, if that’s genius, then changing them from turtles to tortoises must be f*cking MENSA-level sh*t.

Alas, not everyone is scrambling to Bay’s defense these days. Remember that whole firing Megan Fox from Transformers because she called Bay an asshole thing? Well, actor Chris O’Dowd sure does.

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