TRAILER: ‘The Brass Teapot’ has an amazingly weird, possibly racist plot

Written by Vince Mancini / 01.28.13

The trailer for The Brass Teapot, directed by Ramaa Mosley starring Juno Temple and Michael Angarano, has just hit, and it looks potentially like the most out-there high concept, big-budget comedy since the eighties. The eighties was a great decade for batshit high-concepts, and probably not coincidentally, also for cocaine. As I’ve said, it was like an entire decade of people getting stuck in quicksand and complaining about anchovies on pizza. Some movies we take for granted and forget how nutty they actually are because they pulled it off. But try explaining Ghostbusters to someone who’s never heard of it. It has a ghost in it that’s a big ball of snot who ruins dinner parties. Whose ghost was that? Was there a living snot ball at one point? Every plot point in that sounds f*cking insane. Then there was Mannequin, Weird Science, Innerspace, etc. etc.

Point being, aside from the occasional body-swap romp, we haven’t had too many genuinely weird high-concept comedies for while. But The Brass Teapot could change that. It appears to be about a down-on-their-luck couple who discover a mysterious teapot that spews money, but only when they hurt each other. So they spend the rest of the trailer finding more and more elaborate ways to hurt each other. Until one day, some orthodox Jews show up saying their grandma saved the teapot during the Holocaust. Whoa. Is this an elaborate way to explain the self-hating Jew stereotype? Or some kind of anti-Jew propaganda about how the Jews caused the Holocaust themselves by being greedy? (I mean really, I didn’t even have to read much into this to get here). Whatever it is, it looks f*cking weird. Not necessarily good, but weird.

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Kevin Smith discussing his weight loss with Joy Behar now

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.09.11
Oh yeah, like that's a novelty.

Oh yeah, like that's a novelty.

Every time I want to jump on the internets-hate-Kevin-Smith-now bandwagon, and it’s often tempting, I’ll hear him on some radio show and can’t help but think that he’s still a pretty likable guy.  And anyway, what’s so wrong with wanting to distribute his own movies?  He might take forever to get to the damned point (and sh*t), but it still seems like a perfectly worthwhile, not-necessarily-narcissistic goal (and whatnot).  That being said, when you show up on daytime TV talking to Joy Behar about your recent weight loss, that seems like a pretty clear indication that you’ve overshared.

The director and ‘Jay and Silent Bob’ star told Joy Behar about his 65-pound weight loss in a high-energy interview that led her to ask, “Are you on amphetamines?”

Ouch.  Damn, son, you just got asked if you were on drugs by a chick that used to work with Sherri Shepard.  Then again, I guess anyone would seem like a speed freak compared to those lobotomized lumps.
Sorry, back to the interview.  So, Kev, tell us, why the f*ck are you still wearing that butt-ugly hockey sweater?

Smith told Behar he “spent most of my life yo-yoing in terms of weight” and likes to wear loose-fitting hockey jerseys no matter what his weight is. “I call up Omar the tent maker,” he joked. “Get me a hockey jersey, and he takes all the rayon, all this material … and makes my jersey. It’s a whole team I’m wearing! I’m wearing twelve kids on my chest.”

Haha, great, that totally makes sense now.  I’m glad we had this talk. I can’t wait to see Kevin Smith eye-raping me at the checkout stand from the cover of his next People Magazine tell-all exclusive, “I LOVE SHANTS! Clerks director finally comes clean about his lifelong love of the relaxed fit, hatred of exposed leg skin.”

Anyway, here’s a new clip from Red State.  (Remember that?  Kevin Smith directs movies.)

Read the rest of this entry »

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SPIDERMAN CASTING: CALLING ALL DOUCHES

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.28.08

Sony has decided to make a Spider-Man 4 and 5 back to back regardless of whether any of the original cast returns or whether anyone wants to see another Spider-Man movie. 

Word around the internets is that the frontrunners for the role of Spidey are Patrick Fugit (of Almost Famous almost fame) and Michael Angarano (the mini Lebeouf from Forbidden Kingdom).  Apparently they’re looking for douchey and pre-pubescent.  Too harsh, you say?  Fugit on Almost Famous: “I actually thought Led Zeppelin was one person.”  Anyone willing to admit that in public clearly has not gotten his ass kicked enough times.

I don’t get this casting. I mean, is it so much to ask that a guy playing a superhero be someone I actually want to see wearing spandex?  And I don’t think I’m alone on this one, right guys?  Guys?  Anyway, no word yet on who’ll play the female lead, but based on the fact that I’m never going to see this… Carmen Electra?  Sure, why not.

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