The drug cartel wars in Mexico have killed as many as 60,000 people in the last six years (!!) so you might expect Mexicans to be a little jaded when it comes to murder. But just how jaded? Well, a 10-year-old was shot in the head and killed during a Wreck-It Ralph screening last week, and after they carted him out, THEY KEPT PLAYING THE REST OF THE MOVIE.

According to an ongoing police investigation and local media reports, the shooting occurred Nov. 2 while young Hendrik Cuacuas, accompanied by his father and sister, were watching the animated Disney film Wreck-It-Ralph in a southern Mexico City theater.

The boy’s father, Enrique Cuacuas, told investigators and radio station Radio W that the child was sitting on his right side in a full theater when about a half-hour into the screening he heard something whiz past his ear, followed by the sound of a thud. He then turned to his right and saw his son convulsing and bleeding from the head. At that point, he realized his son had been shot. The boy was rushed to a hospital in critical condition but died two days later.

An autopsy report revealed that the child was shot from a distance of about four to six feet and it said the bullet entered the front of his head. However, adding to the general confusion, the coroner was quoted as saying that the shooter was not necessarily standing in front of the victim. [Or maybe it was the chupacabra. What am I, a doctor?]

Even stranger, the boy’s father and others in the theater said they heard no gunshots. Without offering proof, Cuacuas told Radio W that he learned there had been similar incidents in the past in the same theater. [THR]

Sad yet? Oh, it gets worse.

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On Saturday, thousands of people gathered in 11 cities across the planet to celebrate the birth of Peyo, the man who gave us the Smurfs, for Global Smurfs Day 2011. In fact, 4,891 people combined to set a new Guinness World Record for the “Largest Gathering of People Dressed as Smurfs within a 24-hour Period in Multiple Venues.” This, of course, means that there had been a previous record for people dressed as Smurfs, and that distinction belonged to 2,510 losers. As for the people who participated in this global blue ball…

The 11 venues were Brussels, Belgium; Athens, Greece; Scheveningen (The Hague), Holland; Dublin, Ireland; Mexico City, Mexico; Panama City, Panama; Warsaw, Poland; Moscow, Russia; Johannesburg, South Africa; New York, USA; and London, UK. The record was announced by Marc Weinstock, President, Worldwide Marketing for Sony Pictures Entertainment. Mr. Weinstock commented, “It’s a thrill to see so many people turn out to be a part of this true fan moment in Smurfs history. Breaking a Guinness World Record on Global Smurfs Day is a testament to the enormous appeal and popularity of these beloved characters.” (Galatta)

It’s certainly a Smurf of a marketing tool for Sony, as the company’s live action feature The Smurfs opens on July 29, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Katy Perry… *sigh*… George Lopez, Kenan Thompson, and Jeff Foxworthy. As for this new record, I’m an 80s child so I can appreciate the nostalgia for a cartoon that influenced a generation to try hallucinogenic drugs, but after looking through hundreds of photos from around the world, I was a little confused. You can see for yourself what the gatherings looked like, as I’ve included images from England, Poland, Ireland, Mexico, Panama, South Africa and New York City after the jump. Let’s see if the rest of the Drunkards can figure out why I’m upset.

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Ilya Salkind, executive producer of Superman, Superman II, and Superman III, who went missing earlier this week after friends said they hadn’t seen or heard from him since Sunday, was discovered alive in a Mexican hospital this morning.  It turns out, he was under the soap. Sorry, Mexican joke, I kid, I kid.

A friend of Salkind tells TMZ … it’s unclear how long Ilya has been in the hospital or why he hasn’t been able to contact anyone.

We’re told Ilya is currently sedated and friends are waiting to speak with the doctor to find out more information.

As TMZ first reported, Ilya — the guy who is widely regarded as the person responsible for bringing a live-action Superman movie to the big screen in the 1970s — went missing this weekend after telling friends he had to run some errands. [TMZ]

I’ve been sitting here trying to think of an “Up, up, and a guey” joke for the last 20 minutes, but I’ve got nothing.  We wish him the best, and hopefully things will turn out fine.  In the meantime, I just like to imagine TMZ bursting into the Mexican hospital demanding to know what’s wrong with the man.  “Wrong, señor?  Mira, we yust thought he was esleepeen.”