Meryl Streep – who, yes, was quite the hot piece back in high school, as you can see from her yearbook photo – was the subject of a 60 Minutes profile by Morley Safer over the weekend. While it was mostly about how she’s incredibly talented and nice and it’s not hard to see why everyone likes her, I thought the bit about the current state of the movie business was interesting. Especially where Morley Safer, who probably won’t be appearing on Kevin Smith’s new show, asks about “comic-strip movies.”

SAFER: Do you think movies are getting better than when you started?

STREEP: I think the acting’s better. I think the acting is better than in the “classic” days, frankly.

SAFER: If you look at the movies that are being made, the big movies that are being made, are… about comic strips–

STREEP: Oh I don’t see those.

SAFER: –or vampires, or gross behavior – all aimed at 18-year-old boys.

STREEP: That’s called the narrowing of the audience. The movie business has worked assiduously to discourage you, and other intelligent, discerning people, FROM the theater. They have worked hard to get rid of you, because you don’t go and then buy toys and games.

She’s right, of course, and certainly not the first person to say as much (though it goes without saying that I’d rather sit through the most fart-filled toy commercial than have to watch the Iron Lady again). Still, I can’t decide what I like more, the part where Morley Safer called them “comic-strip movies,” or the part where he defined an entire genre as “gross behavior aimed at 18-year-old boys.” Man, old people are so awesome sometimes. It actually got me to thinking: what might that look like if it were a single film? In fact, I went ahead and created a poster:

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For the past 23 years, when not having 37-hour tantric sex sessions, Sting and his wife, Trudie Styler, have been raising awareness for the indigenous people of Central and South American rain forests. Every two years, they’ve hosted star-studded concerts to support their efforts, and they’ve been able to protect almost 30 million acres of rain forest in the process. And this year… well, hold on to your fanciest hats, because the A-list is coming in full force.

Meryl Streep, Elton John, James Taylor, Roseanne Cash, Bryn Terfel (he’s a popular opera dude), Bruno Mars, Vince Gill and Jennifer Hudson will join Sting at Carnegie Hall this year for “Songs from the Silver Screen.” But someone must have built a rec center in one of the rain forests, because joining them on the main stage – Channing Tatum!

Tatum, who stars in “21 Jump Street” with Jonah Hill, isn’t really known for his voice, and has never sung onscreen. However, the former Abercrombie & Fitch model-turned-stripper-turned-actor does know how to entertain a crowd, if his “Saturday Night Live” debut is any indication.

The star-studded concert’s theme of the night is “Songs from the Silver Screen.” The Rainforest Foundation concert will take place on Tuesday, April 3 at 7 p.m. ET at Carnegie Hall. (Via the HuffPo)

If you, too, were forced by a she-devil to see The Vow, you’ll know that Tatum showed that he actually has some chops on the guitar, no matter how hard you may have laughed when he did it. But singing? MIND = BLOWN.

Thankfully, I have my dear friend C-Tates on speed dial, and once again the hardest workin’, twerkin’, lay it down, flip it and reversin’ it man in $SShow BizzNastee was glad to share some insight.

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"Solo! Hay lapa no ya, Solo! Boonowa tweepi, ha, ha."

The BAFTAs, aka the British Oscars (The Oscours, as I like to call them), held their awards ceremony last night, and the big story was that The Artist only took home six of the 11 awards it was nominated for. What a sad night it must have been for its make-up artists and production designers. Meanwhile, Meryl Streep took home Best Actress honors for The Iron Lady, proving that even British people are impressed by the ability to do a British accent.

Photo Credit: Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com

Elsewhere, Adam Deacon took home the Orange Wednesdays Rising Star Award, which is apparently an arbitrary assortment of words presented to a British citizen chosen at random, by drawing names out of a Bobby’s hat. The names are written on the sides of fags, which is of course Cockney-rhyming slang for “Pifflequags”, which is a type of rodent. Why are the Bobbies’ hats so full of rodents? Tradition, mostly. (Full list of winners and nominees after the jump):

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Armie Hammer, the popped-collar pot bandit, photobombs Meryl Streep at the SAG Awards. I’m kind of fascinated with the guy behind him. Is he security? What’s going on there? Is there a guy in charge of stopping photobombs? All I know is that Armie Hammer is so preppy, if he was on Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris’s nickname would’ve been “Thug Life.” [via Buzzfeed]

MORNING LINKS
ROFLMNBAO: This Week In NBA Pictures |With Leather|

Twelve Reasons Why NBC Is a Last-Place Network |Warming Glow|

Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Specifically The Province of Skyrim |Gamma Squad|

Channing Tatum Showed Rachel McAdams His Dong |Film Drunk|

This Is How You Place An Order At Sonic |UPROXX|

In honor of Groundhog Day, Stephen Tobolowsky reprises his role as Ned Ryerson. |mastersofnone|

Katherine Heigl unveils her wax figu– wait, no, that’s actually Katherine Heigl. |TheSuperficial|

Cocky 17-Year-Old Gets Ruined In A Rap Battle With His English Teacher |Buzzfeed|

Hitler rants about Groundhog Day. |Videogum|

The origin of Groundhog Day. |MentalFloss|

Taiwanimation explains how to make the best Super Bowl commercial. |GorillaMask|

Classic TV locations get turned into moody pieces of art. Something wicked is coming for Moe’s Tavern |FARK|

Mexican flight instructor lands Cessna with broken engine. I gave my girlfriend a Mexican flight instructor once. |TheDailyWhat|

25 reasons the Year of the Dragaon will be awesome. |HolyTaco|

9 celebrities photoshopped as groundhogs. |ScreenJunkies|

The Best Gallery of Soul Calibur Cosplay in Existence |Unreality|

Are These NCAA Helmet Concepts Better Than Current Designs? |Brobible|

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Politics Schmolitics, Being a Lady is Hard!

WOOF, what a dog of an assignment. I try to go into movies with an open mind, but let’s be honest, that was impossible here. The Iron Lady. I felt stupid just saying the title. Try it. Go to your local theater and tell the cashier, “I’m here to see The Iron Lady.” You’ll feel like an asshole, I promise. It sounds like a torture device, and it was.

Basically, I expected a cut-rate The King’s Speech, which was already the same boring biopic we’ve all seen umpteen times before. A COURAGEOUS OUTSIDER AND BLAH BLAH BLAH UNLIKELY PARTNERSHIP WAR SPEECH THE END.

Imagine my surprise when I found that it wasn’t a biopic about Margaret Thatcher: Prime Minister at all, but rather a biopic about Margaret Thatcher: Senile Old Lady, grieving over her husband (Jim Broadbent) who died eight years ago. You know that shitty flashback structure they use in every biopic where the decrepit old protagonist stares wistfully at a picture of himself on a horse before it flashes back and turns into a period piece? Well imagine if that pointless flashback justification wasn’t just five minutes at the beginning and end of the movie, but A RECURRING THEME THAT TAKES UP HALF THE RUNNING TIME. Hate boring, conventional political biopics? Well hey, here’s that, intercut with 40 minutes of an old lady hallucinating conversations with her dead husband about tea! MY GOD, IT’S ALL WORTH IT TO HEAR MERYL STREEP DO AN ACCENT!

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