Tarantino’s Cocaine Wizard Won an Oscar! (With Full List of Winners)

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.27.12

Well the Oscars happened last night, and thanks to our

The first award of the evening went to veteran cinematographer Robert Richardson for Hugo (Richardson’s third), who may be more familiar to FilmDrunk readers as the wizard who appears when Quentin Tarantino does too much cocaine. Congratulations, Coke Wizard! Reached for comment, Richardson said, “Askwala Pasquala ishkabibble hazoo! It’s quite the wizard’s honor, to accept this from you!” and disappeared in a cloud of bong smoke. Someone turned over a rainstick.

Of course, the big story was The Artist, which won damn near everything it was nominated for, including Picture, Director, Actor, and Score. The backlash will be swift and noisy, I’m sure, but… eh. It seems so very precious and gimmicky and so Oscars that a silent movie from France would win best picture in 2012, but the movie itself… it was pretty good. Not life changing, but… cute. Better than The King’s Speech, Crash, Slumdog Millionaire, etc., certainly. Meryl Streep got the Best Actress trophy she so richly deserved for any number of prior films for that awful snotpile The Iron Lady, and immediately proved herself worthy by convincingly feigning surprise. What an actress! Anyway, things got pretty fuzzy for me after that. Last thing I remember was Jean Dujardin babbling something about “Doogloss Far Bonks.”

"Allo? Mee star far Bonks?"

(List of winners below)

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BAFTA nominations: THE IRON LADY FOR SCREENPLAY?!?!

Written by Vince Mancini / 01.17.12

The BAFTAs, aka the British Oscars, released their list of nominees today, and while it was nice to finally see The Guard and Attack the Block get some recognition (for original screenplay and outstanding debut by a British, respectively), they managed to nominate the worst film of the year for TWO AWARDS. It’s understandable (by comparison) that they’d nominate Meryl Streep for best acress, because hey, she’s Meryl Streep. Even though to me that’s a little like having Lebron James play on a team full of progeria kids and then calling him Most Valuable Player, but I digress, because they also nominated Abi Morgan for her Iron Lady screenplay. Wow. How… is… that even possible? Turning a divisive political figure into an old lady who talks to her dead husband about suits, that’s artistry? Jesus, England. We expect you to have bad food, worse teeth, stupid accents, and men a little too excited to cross dress, but still, you’re supposed to be the smart ones.

Best Film
The Artist
The Descendants
Drive
The Help
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

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