Subtle, right?

“Rooney Mara’s Merkin” — it sounds like the best illustrated children’s book that’s never been written, doesn’t it? That was the subject of a recent interview with Dragon Tattoo star Mara in Metro, the nation’s leading source of pube-based crotch journalism. Actual headline: “Rooney Mara: The girl with the strawberry merkin.” They make it sound so delicious, don’t the? Which is impressive considering we’re talking about something that was originally designed to conceal venereal disease amongst Victorian prostitutes.

Metro: What’s the one part of Lisbeth that’s depicted in the movie that might get overlooked, a detail that you hope people catch?
Rooney Mara: I can’t think of a serious answer to that question, but I can think of a ridiculous answer to that question.

Ridiculous answers work, too.
Well, her merkin. There was a lot of discussion that went into my merkin for the movie, because I was naked quite a lot. And I don’t think a lot of people will notice all of the attention that went into that. But there was a lot of discussions around that.

What sort of discussions are we talking about?
Well, you know, in the book she’s meant to have strawberry-blonde hair originally and she dyes it, so we had a special merkin made that was, you know, strawberry-blonde so that it would fit. [laughs] [Metro via CinemaBlend]

So this chick shaves her eyebrows but grows her muff long a poofy? Talk about having your priorities out of whack. I sure hope Daniel Craig straightens her out. He looks like he knows a thing or two about proper grooming.

The back story on this is that the white cat is a total nerd. You’re stewed, butt wad! |Reddit|

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I liked Thor.  Despite a distinct lack of rocket hands and Robert Downey chewing scenery, all things considered, it’s probably a better film than the first Iron Man (which, let’s face it, was a little Entourage-y at times).  And yet, something about it kept me from being much excited to write my review.  In fact, I made this entire Platoon poster with a Hyrax out of boredom before I’d written my first paragraph.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun movie.  The acting is solid all the way through (Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston — Loki — are pleasant discoveries, and neither Anthony Hopkins nor Natalie Portman dishonor their pedigrees). Kenneth Branagh proves his Shakespeare experience surprisingly applicable to a film about a big blonde guy whacking sh*t with a hammer, seamlessly mixing goofy, often slapsticky humor with age-old conflicts between brothers, and fathers and sons, and of course, epic speeches and hubris leading to downfall.  The film begins in Asgard, where three of the evil Ice Giants (couldn’t have thought up a less on-the-nose name, there, guys?) have infiltrated a sacred Asgardian hall through some kind through a secret portal, in order to steal back some magic box full of blue fog that the Asgardians took after defeating them in a long war (the one where Odin lost his eye).  But before the Ice Giants can accomplish much, the Asgardians’ giant chrome Destroyer blows them all to f*ck WITH A BEAM OF HELLFIRE FROM ITS FACE (pretty baller, as security systems go).   When the Asgardians discover what happened, newly-crowned Prince Thor gets pissed, demanding to go to Planet Ice Giant and hammer some frozen dicks in retaliation.  Odin (Hopkins) says no — “The Destroyer did its job, the invaders met their fate, nothing else is required.”

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What can I say, folks, I consider it a good day any time I get to use “vag” in the headline.  The occasion is a story about The Reader, in which Kate Winslet had a nude scene like she always does. And as she told Allure, she had grow out her beef whiskers in order for her chatch to look more period-appropriate.  …

Winslet tells Allure in the June issue that when filming “The Reader,” she had to grow in the hair “down there,” so to speak. She tells Allure, “because of years of waxing, as all of us girls know, it doesn’t come back quite the way it used to. They even made me a merkin because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough.” [MSNBC]

Wigs or no wigs, It’s a good thing they got it right.  I can totally picture myself standing up in the theater yelling, “EXCUSE ME, THIS DYSLEXIC NAZI’S PUSSY ISN’T HAIRY ENOUGH!”  But I do that at most movies.