Most people know that Men Who Stare at Goats was based on a non-fiction book by Jon Ronson, and that some of the most preposterous parts of the movie were reportedly the most faithful to things that really happened. Before it was a book or a movie, Men Who Stare at Goats was a Channel 4 documentary series, The Crazy Rulers of the World. In the above clip from the show, you can see Ronson, who talks like Little Lord Fauntleroy, interview the guy who claims to actually have knocked a goat down with his mind from an adjacent room. His superiors later bring in 30 numbered goats, and ask him to use his mind bullets again on a specific goat. He fails, but only because he took down the goat next to the goat he was supposed to.
“There was this one picture that we have of like, St. Michael the ark angel, and he’s just got his sword in there like that. I got that picture in my mind, and I kind of sent it over to where the goat was. I pictured that St. Michael got his sword and was going [stabbing sounds], through the goat, and attacking it down to the ground. And after about 15 minutes, I said ‘Lenny, you better go see.’ And he said ‘Oh, it’s down.’”
This reminds me of when I was in 10th grade, and all through Study Hall I’d just stare at Tracy Mayling, trying to will her skirt to fly up and show me the sweet, sweet goodness she hid inside. It never really worked, but once, just once, I accidentally sh-t my pants.
Opening this weekend (click titles for reviews, trailer after the jump)
The Box
Frank Langella has a box and if you press the button you get some money, but someone in the world also dies. So what’s the catch again? And how much are we talking, like a twenty spot, or less?
A Christmas Carol
A digital Jim Carrey stars in Robert Zemeckis’ latest attempt to make motion-capture happen. Dude, just film the damn actors, this computer crap looks stupid.
The Fourth Kind
Milla Jovovich and, uh, alien possession or something. I’m a little disappointing with the trailer because I know the first kind is golden showers, the second kind is poo play, and I was kind of intrigued to find out what the fourth kind was. Had my fingers crossed for some sort of shomit bukkake.
Men Who Stare at Goats
George Clooney, The Dude, Ewan Macgregor, goats — what’s not to like? I had high hopes, but the reviews haven’t been too good so far. And now I definitely won’t see it because I trust those fat, disgusting, know-it-all shut-ins like they were my brothers.
Precious
An inner-city girl goes on a quest for the magic ring that turned her fat so she can throw it off a mountain. Just kidding, of course, except the part about her being really fat. Supposed to be good, but then Oprah and Tyler Perry are involved and screw them.
This is the first trailer for Men Who Stare at Goats, starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges (in full-on The Dude mode), and Hollywood’s hottest bachelor Kevin Spacey. It looks like it could either be funny or way too cute for its own good, like my tiny, tiny penis.
Reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is in search of his next big story when he encounters Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a shadowy figure who claims to be part of an experimental U.S. military unit. According to Cassady, the New Earth Army is changing the way wars are fought. A legion of “Warrior Monks” with unparalleled psychic powers can read the enemy’s thoughts, pass through solid walls, and even kill a goat simply by staring at it. Now, the program’s founder, Bill Django (Jeff Bridges), has gone missing and Cassady’s mission is to find him. The Men Who Stare at Goats was inspired by Jon Ronson’s non-fiction bestseller of the same name, an eye-opening and often hilarious exploration of the government’s attempts to harness paranormal abilities to combat its enemies. [Apple]
