Us too, Will.

At long last, it’s the trailer for the movie you’ve all been waiting for– oops, hold on, looks like I read this wrong, it’s actually the trailer for Men in Black 3. Sorry about that, my mistake. Anyway, after a series of delays, the film once set to open Memorial Day 2011 is now set for the same date in 2012 (probably couldn’t get Will Smith’s trailer ready in time). It comes from director Barry Sonnenfeld, whose only film since Men in Black 2 was the Robin Williams classic RV, and four credited screenwriters, including two who worked on Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Yay, they get to keep working! And people complain about illegal aliens. Anyway, given its pedigree, it doesn’t look half bad!

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I’d never heard of this movie before today, but I’m loving this business-casual football idea. Look how formal-yet-approachable he looks! They should all have to wear a collared shirt and leather shoes and unwrinkled slacks (no denim!). Another new rule is that you’re legally down by contact if your knee, elbow, or back hit the ground, or if your cell phone falls out of its holster. League MVP? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Can’t throw or run or tackle for shit, but the man can wear the hell out of a skinny tie.

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Cars 2 will almost certainly become Pixar’s first “Rotten” film according to the Tomatometer. Who could’ve imagined a film with Dreamworks Face in every poster starring Larry the Cable Guy as the voice of a tow truck wouldn’t be a critical darling? Why, that’d be like trying to predict whether Larry the Cable Guy will wear sleeves. |RottenTomatoes|

Cars 2 and Bad Teacher are the movies that are opening this weekend. I don’t have time to do a Weekend Movie Guide, I’m sorry. In fairness, I did have the Bad Teacher writers on the Frotcast. |Yahoo|

Men in Black 3 will cost $215 million (that’s NET PRODUCTION BUDGET, supposedly). Money well spent, I’m sure. Can’t wait for the Wild Wild West reboot. |TheWrap|

King of Kong director Seth Gordon remaking War Games. Notice I was nice and didn’t call him “Four Christmases director Seth Gordon.” I’ll tell you how I feel about this idea when we find out whether his newest film, Horrible Bosses, is any good. So far, it’s… not looking good (though I do love Colin Farrell). Make Billy Mitchell the villain in all movies from now on.  The man is a nefarious hot sauce magnate. That sh*t will never, ever get old. |Deadline|

E from Entourage wants to direct a Kimbo Slice biopic. Kimbo would play himself (Note: this is never going to happen). No joke, I pitched a Kimbo Slice profile five years ago for a job I didn’t get.  That was before I realized people wanted to be told stories they’ve already heard. It’s like the inner me, was the enemy. The INNER me, was the ENERmy.  The INNER me. Was the ENNERMY.  But good luck to Kevin Connolly as a director. The fact that he’s completely unlikable as an actor is a big part of the reason Entourage isn’t very good. |TheWrap|

Here’s KRS-One reviewing Bad Teacher:

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(More pics at WWTDD)

Squeaky-clean Will Smith often gets accused of acting “white”, but if his behavior on the Men in Black III set is any indication, he still loves huge trailers.  Sorry, that was a terrible joke.  The point is that Will Smith is an assh*le, and the other assh*les in the neighborhood aren’t happy about it.  The New York Post’s actual, Pulitzer-worthy caption? “GETTIN’ PIGGY WIT’ IT.”

The megastar has docked a gargantuan, double-decker moveable mansion for his “Men in Black III” shoot smack in the middle of SoHo — even though he’s renting a luxury apartment less than a mile away.
Clocking in at 1,150 square feet, the titanic trailer is larger than most two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartments in the city.
The specially designed ride, nicknamed “The Heat,” includes a lounge, a movie room with a 100-inch screen, marble floors throughout, offices for his assistants and writing staff, a large bedroom and all-granite bathroom. It measures about 53 feet long, has 22 wheels and weighs in at around 30 tons.
The gawdy creation is a product of Anderson Mobile Estates. With the push of a button it can double its height in just 30 seconds and sells for just under $2 million.
Inside, it features a full-service kitchen with arched windows, and matched-grain Italian cherrywood cabinetry.

I appreciate that, Tony. DON’T SLAM THE F*CKIN DOOR, TONY!

In the same neighborhood, Smith is renting a five-bedroom, 6.5-bathroom apartment for $25,000 a month on Bond Street.
“Everything about him is excessive,” said a broker who worked with him.
Initially, his rental budget was $100,000 — a month. He wanted a pool, and he did not want to share an elevator with normal people, the broker said. [NYPost]

Well his trailer certainly sounds a lot nicer than, say, your mom’s.  And he probably has to share it with fewer syphilitics.  My gosh, who would’ve guessed a guy who named one child after himself and one after his wife, who pushed them into each of his careers before they hit puberty, who only agrees to star in films where he can be the good guy, would be some kind of egomaniac, right?  This must be some kind of mistake.  Let’s all continue to praise his refreshing “swagger.”

Variety today reports that Will Smith has narrowed his next project down to two possibilities.  One of those is Men in Black 3, the most anticipated movie of six years ago.  You might wonder how bad the other one is for there to even be a choice…

Penned by Andrew Niccol, The City that Sailed revolves around a New York street magician who is unhappily separated from his young daughter. The girl, who moves to London, finds magic candles that make her wishes come true, with unintended consequences: The island of Manhattan separates from the continent and floats toward England, bringing her dad ever closer. [Variety]

Alternate title: Hope Floats. Anyway, at this stage, no one knows which way he’s leaning.  But according to my exclusive source who was behind Will Smith at a Starbucks recently, he overheard Smith telling his agent, “I whistled for some crap, and when it came near, it was full of magic candles and the title was queer!  If anything, I could say that this script was rare, but I thought, hell, I’ll do it. I’m rich bitch, who cares!”

*Roger Rabbits over to the corner*