About a year ago it seemed like every day I was having to cover another stupid rumor about the Justice League of America movie, which I said from the beginning will never happen.  Today every blog-o-dork with a laptop is reporting that Justice League is back on, based on this throwaway article about Megan Gale (pictured), who’d been hired to play Wonder Woman before the project was rightfully tabled.

Initially slated to be filmed Down Under, [director George] Miller conceded production had been moved offshore, with a plan to resume filming next year. [from the Herald-Sun, an Australian newspaper.  $10 the reporter was totally hammered when he wrote this]

See? The director of the shelved project says they "plan" to resume next year, so obviously it’s back on.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to see it, because I’m training to be an astronaut next year.  That’s right, an astronaut.  Who’s the lazy one now, Karen Henry, you selfish bitch.   

Hey Hey, JLA, why the hell are you still being made? – According to Variety, Justice League of America is back in pre-production and planned for a 2009 debut.  They mention Adam Brody playing The Flash, Common as the Green Lantern, Armie Hammer as Batman, and Megan Gale as Wonderwoman.  Sadly, still no word on the status of Green Arrow.   This epic pile of shit just won’t be complete without fruity dude in a green smock shooting bad guys with a boxing-glove arrow.  I say we get Renny Harlin to direct. 

Superhero Movie Has a Poster – Hey, Pam Anderson’s in it!  They needed a hot chick, and naturally they chose a hepatitis-infected 40-year-old with 12 kids from different fathers.  Based on that kind of judgement, I’m sure this will be swell. 

Barack Obama Wants Will Smiff to Play Him – Dude, think of your legacy!  You gotta go Morgan Freeman on this one.  The man practically sweats gravitas.

4 Fast 4 Furious Set Photos – Here’s Vin Diesel and Paul Walker "acting" in a "sequel" to "The Fast and the Furious".  I think we all know there’s no film in those cameras.  "I need you to get me some serious work!" Paul Walker was heard screaming into the wallet he pretends is a cell phone at his imaginary agent.

The Rock is Playing the Tooth Fairy – Dear Mr. Rock: No one will ever call you Dwayne Johnson when you do movies like this.  Let’s face it, you’re a poor man’s Macho Man Randy Savage.  OH YEEEAHHH!  

That Kid From There Will Be Blood to Exec Produce – Paul Dano will star in and executive produce Gigantic.  When reached for comment, that kid from Dazed and Confused just grabbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head.  (After a quick google search) Holy shit, his name’s "Wiley Wiggins"?  Some parents he’s got.

Pictures of Cameron Diaz’ Box – Haha, tricked you.  She’s actually just starring in a movie called The Box.  You didn’t care either way, did you.  Me neither.