*ahem* MEGAN FOX NAKED MEGAN FOX NAKED MEGAN FOX NAKED! …Sorry, I have to do that for Google search purposes. I hope you understand. Anyway, after the jump I’ve got the trailer for Friends with Kids, the unofficial Bridesmaids reunion starring Kristin Wiig, Jon Hamm, Chris O’Dowd, and Maya Rudolph, with Adam Scott, Megan Fox, Ed Burns, and Jennifer Westfeldt (who also wrote and directs) along for the ride. The plot? “We’ve replaced their ‘Benefits’ with ‘Kids.’ Let’s see if anyone notices!”
When it was announced that Billy Crystal would host the Oscars after Brett Ratner got fired for calling everyone a fag and Eddie Murphy went with him, the world responded with a resounding “meh.” It was as if they’d already skipped to the fourth step of Billy Crystal: acceptance. But the Oscar producers couldn’t have people not excited about the Oscars. That just wouldn’t do! So the lead producer called a special meeting in his war room deep in the bowels of show business headquarters. He looked his flunkies in the face. No one had any ideas! That’s when he took a long drag on his electronic cigarette and said purposefully, “…Bring me Duhamel.”
The awed flunkies muttered in unison, “You mean… The Charismanator.”
The chief hit a giant red button on his desk, and that’s when this video was made.
Transformers 3 opens at midnight tonight, meaning it’s time for media outlets to run all the stories they have on the castmembers. Details Magazine hit the jackpot with a profile on Shia Lebwaff, who “admitted” hooking up with Megan Fox, and by admitted I mean ran around giving everyone high fours. But first, here’s the summary of the article Details sent me, which isn’t at all grandiose…
LaBeouf has thrown as many punches as he has parties, he has a rap sheet as long as his filmography, and when he’s not pissing off studio heads, he’s messing around with another guy’s girlfriend. But the 25-year-old Transformers star might also be the most honest man in Hollywood. He lives by a code built on fierce integrity, recoils from material possessions, cherishes poetry and art, and despises all things phony. More than meets the eye? Damn right.
What a coincidence, I TOO cherish poetry and despise all things phony! GIVE! MY! INTEGRITY! A SEVEN! (*finger snaps*) Man. Our standards of “tough-guy movie star” have fallen a long way since Charles Bronson was chewing tobacco and losing his virginity at the age of five.
Asked if he hooked up with Megan Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.” When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know . . .”—repeating the phrase exactly 12 times in various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”
Repeating one phrase over and over again? Hmm, doesn’t sound like the LaBeouf I know….
This story comes from the DailyMail, and as a general rule, I’m skeptical of anything British people consider a credible news item or edible food. But the story is that it was actually Steven Spielberg who had Megan Fox fired from Transformers 3. Or as entertainment analysts called it, “the most important news story since the Big Bang.”
The Hollywood legend was outraged after the screen beauty compared Michael Bay to Hitler during a press interview. The 25-year-old actress was quickly dumped from the film and replaced by British model Rosie Huntington-Whitley.
Fox had tried to claim she left the third in the series of the films to pursue other acting opportunities.
But ahead of the July 4 premiere of Transformers 3 director Bay has revealed for the first time he was told to get rid of the actress.
He said: ‘You know the Hitler thing. Steven (Spielberg) said, fire her right now.‘
And these are the same people who hired Josh Duhamel to play a gruff special ops soldier so you know they don’t take casting decisions lightly. To refresh your memory, this was what Megan Fox actually said.
Wonderland Magazine: What are your most favourite and least favourite things about working with Michael Bay?
Megan Fox: God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it’s endearing to watch him. He’s vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he’s a tyrant. Shia and I almost die when we make a Transformers movie. He has you do some really insane things that insurance would never let you do.
After that, everyone laughed at gilded butterflies. Anyway, if they fired her because she’s not a very good actress and they realized they could pay someone else less to look pretty and scream at green screens, fine. But in general, people need to stop freaking out every time someone gets compared to Hitler. Hitler did do a couple other things besides killing Jews. She was basically saying Bay was a tyrant, which isn’t that terrible, it’s kind of the director’s job. Meanwhile, him blaming this all on an old Jew who secretly controls everything doesn’t exactly refute the comparison.
Michael Bay playing his favorite game, "Got your nipple."
Shia Labeouf famously admitted that Indiana Jones 4 kind of sucked, and immediately took a truckload of sh*t for it, because famous actors aren’t allowed to acknowledge things that are blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes. He’d clearly learned from his “mistake” when the LA Times asked him about the rift between Megan Fox and Michael Bay (which I assume occurred when she wouldn’t wash his Ferrari long or hard enough), which may or may not have led to her not being in Transformers 3. Now then, let’s all just sit back and enjoy watching him squirm.
“Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women,” LaBeouf said.
I love that his first point of reference for woman-empowerment is the Spice Girls.
LABWAFF: “She was very strong, very empowered — she reminded me of… hmm, who am I thinking of?” INTERVIEWER: “…The Suffragettes?”
LABWAFF: “Who? Oh! Charlie’s Angels.”
“Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it. When Mike would ask her to do specific things, there was no time for fluffy talk. We’re on the run. And the one thing Mike lacks is tact. There’s no time for [LaBeouf assumes a gentle voice] ‘I would like you to just arch your back 70 degrees.’”
“As a modern, empowered Baby Spice-Athena, all Megan really wanted was for a man to tell her how many degrees to arch her back. But Mike, you know, he’s old-school, he’s not into that whole post-feminist discourse.”
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