No surprises this week – Horton Hears a Who stayed at number one, raking in $25.1 million, while Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns (which didn’t screen for critics) was right behind with $20 million, averaging nearly $10,000 per screen. Once again proving that Tyler Perry’s butthole is basically an ATM machine.
Drillbit Taylor, meanwhile, landed in fourth place in its first weekend, finishing behind a half-assed horror flick starring Joshua Jackson (Shutter). Sample Shutter review:
“The main problem is that they spelled the title wrong. The first vowel should be an I.” -Fearnet
Oh Snap! Sample Drillbit Taylor review:
“Imagine Curly Sue, but McLovin-ized.” -UGO
Double Snap! Wait, what the fuck does that even mean?
[Based on weekend estimates]
Lately a lot of people have been asking me, “Hey Lance, what’s up with Meet the Browns? Is Madea going to be in it? I mean, they can’t have a Tyler Perry movie without Madea! What would I laugh at?”
Well folks, she’s in the poster (that is her, right?). But since she’s just a mug shot in it, I’m thinking you might be waiting to see her the whole movie and then only get a couple quick glimpses, like the Cloverfield monster.
Other thoughts - polyester pants, tuxedo shirts, guys in drag, a “B.U.M. Equipment” sweatshirt? What is this, some kind of reverse minstrel show? Needs more actors in white face. And Croc sandals.
This is the trailer (watch it here or after the jump) for Tyler Perry’s latest, Meet the Browns (What Can Brown Do for You? was taken). Starring Angela Bassett, some other people, and former Laker Rick Fox (wish I looked more like him and less like Luke Walton), it opens March 21st.
A single mother living in inner city Chicago, Brenda has been struggling for years to make ends meet and keep her three kids off the street. But when she’s laid off with no warning, she starts losing hope for the first time — until a letter arrives announcing the death of a father she’s never met. Desperate for any kind of help, Brenda takes her family to Georgia for the funeral. But nothing could have prepared her for the Browns, her father’s fun-loving, crass Southern clan.
I keep meaning to see some Tyler Perry movies so I don’t look like a racist for ripping on them, but they just don’t look that interesting. But since they earn about 100 times more than they cost I imagine we’ll be seeing plenty more. Oh well, I guess it’s better than Pirates of the Caribbean 5. Now what’s with this hippity hop that I’ve been hearing so much about?
Sidenote: Angela Bassett could probably beat me at arm wrestling, but only because black people are good at sports.
