Kick-Ass opens April 16th and after the jump I’ve got a new clip, courtesy of MTV. I feel like we’re nearly to the point where if you just watch all the clips that have been released online, you’ve almost seen the entire movie. Luckily it stars Nic Cage and an 11-year-old girl in a stripper wig like all my fantasies, or else I might start losing interest. And no one wants that. Just ask that puppy I stopped feeding.
That’s right, there’s a new Kick-Ass red-band trailer after the jump. I don’t geek out over every stupid comic-book thing that comes out because most of them kinda suck, but when new Kick-Ass stuff hits the web, my bow tie spins around and I have to buy a replacement monocle. I kind of want this movie inside of me. I can’t believe we have to wait until April. I’ve attached the MySpace video player below. It’ll ask you to enter your birthdate, but you can just put anything in there that makes you older than 17. For instance, I put that I was born in 1876, and then rode away giggling on my imaginary horse. Do you realize the MPAA will make you pull any red-band trailer that doesn’t have this system in place? It’s a brilliant solution you guys have worked out here, truly.
Oh thank God. Here I was writing about pointless graphic novels and fat, lazy film critics when a new international red-band trailer for Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass comes along and saves the day. And no, I didn’t invent that headline, it’s actually a line in the trailer. How awesome is that? It’s got Nic Cage acting like a total weirdo, an 11-year-old girl saying “cock,” and teenage boys wearing spandex. Stay out of my fantasies, Matthew Vaughn.
Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass has a new poster. They’ve been pretty balls to the wall with this whole thing so far, why should they stop now? Yeah, Nic Cage is in our movie, he shoots a little girl. Well of course he’s in the poster, but he’s gonna have a mask on and you won’t be able to tell it’s him. You don’t like that? Aw, that’s too bad, why don’t you send a complaint letter to www.suckMattVaughnsHairyNutsack.com.
…At least, that’s how I like to imagine things went down. My only question is how they expect people to know it’s fresh and hip if no one’s wearing sunglasses. Bush league, dude, bush league.
[check out the full poster over at HitFix]
Yahoo just released a new trailer for Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass, meaning my job is even easier than usual today (watch it below; that screencap had to be at the top). It doesn’t quite match the red-band trailer, or the clip of Nic Cage shooting a little girl (I will never get tired of typing that), but it does allow my already-swollen nerd boner to maintain turgidity. The first part lays out the whole tired, loser-becomes-hero premise, but just when I started to lose interest, Nic Cage came out with his ridiculous Fu Manchu and started painting his face and it was on again. Jesus, between this and me loving Bad Lieutenant… is Nic Cage becoming my favorite actor? I don’t know what’s happening to me, you guys! *blubbers uncontrollably, tries to choke down cat food*
