Last week Disney announced it was fasttracking a 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea movie with McG at the helm. LatinoReview recently caught up with Mayor McCheese, who said he wants Will Smith to play Captain Nemo.

“I’ve been wanting to work with him for a long time already. That guy’s great,” he said.

Aha! I always wondered who it was paying money to see Will Smith movies.  Maybe he also knows where all those people who watch CSI and Two and a Half Men who I’ve never met are hiding.  So who is Captain Nemo, exactly?

He is a scientific genius who roams the depths of the sea in his submarine, the Nautilus, which he helped build on a deserted island. Nemo tries to project a stern, controlled confidence, but he is driven by a thirst for vengeance, and wracked by remorse over the deaths of his crewmembers and even by the deaths of enemy sailors. [Wikipedia]

Well the remorse part shouldn’t be hard.  All he has to do is think about all the people who sat through Seven Pounds.  Anyway, wake me when I give a shit about anything Will Smith does.

[Scientology screencap source]

Well, I gotta hand it to Mayor McCheese. So far his little Terminator (Salvation) movie is looking pretty sweet.  Then again, most of the trailer is explosions, and explosions make anything cool.  Don’t believe me?  Think about it:

Mimes: super lame. 
Mime with grenades in his pants: TOTALLY AWESOME!

McG’s Terminator Salvation recently released this Japanese trailer, and boy does it look GRITTY and DARK.  It’s nice to see that Christian Bale didn’t forget how to slowly and deliberately growl all his lines as if saying each word was like doing a pushup since The Dark Knight.  But it doesn’t look too shitty yet.  At least the big robot things look cool.  Still, I’m not sure what John Connor’s trying to gain in the beginning when he’s yelling at a machine for killing his mom.  I cussed out a vibrator for f-cking my girlfriend once, and mostly it seemed like a waste of time.

Terminator Salvation starring Christian Bale opens in May, and what better place to debut new footage than on Entertainment Tonight?  It is, after all, Mayor McCheese’s favorite show.  Anyway, no, you’re not hallucinating, you did just see a giant terminator shoot a lightning bolt from a gun that popped out of its shoulder.  GRR, LIGHTNING BOT! Looks like they may have gone the Transformers route with this.  Personally, I’d like to see a Back to the Future angle.

REESE:  Connor!  You’re disappearing!
CONNOR:  *gasping*  Reese!  *cough, cough*  You’ve got to… go back in time and… f-ck my mom.
REESE: *shudder*
CONNOR: *cough* Sergeant Reese!  *cough, cough*  I said that’s an order!
REESE:  *salutes*  For you, son? Anything.

[thanks to ScreenCrave]

Sony’s site for Terminator Salvation recently added with this crazy flash animation thing where an aerial shot of the city turns into a Terminator face with the tagline “The End Begins”.  Hey, wasn’t it originally called “The Future Begins“?  Make up your damn minds.  Meanwhile, CHUD claims it’s more than just a flash animation:

It’s a flash movie on the Sony site (they’re handling internation distribution), but it’ll likely be a motion poster at your local theater.

Whoooaaa.  I’ve never actually seen a motion poster at a theater before, but I assume they’re something like the roster pictures on Monday Night Football, where you think it’s a still picture at first until all of a sudden the guy blinks at you, at which point you realize someone out there actually decided video of a dude creepily staring at you was preferable to a photo.  Anyway, cool poster.

In related news, the He’s Just Not That Into You poster has Drew Barrymore, Ben Affleck, and the guy from Entourage on it! OMG, it’s just like the collages I used to make!  Except with less puffy paint.

[Second poster source = JoBlo]