Here’s a guy rapping about Con Air.  It seemed like something you’d want to know exists. |via CinemaBlend|

Ben Affleck and George Clooney will wag your dog. Clooney is producing Argo, with Ben Affleck in negotiations to direct, based on a Wired article about how the CIA invented a fake sci-fi movie to rescue six diplomats taken hostage during the Iranian takeover of the American embassy in Tehran in 1979.  Wait, it’s not about Bawston?  Lame.  Did you get the hawstages, cawksuckah?  I’m puttin this whole embassy in my reahview. |THR|

Ralph Fiennes, Javier Bardem in Bond 23??? Earlier this week it was Bardem who’d been offered a role in Bond 23, and then late yesterday the news was that Ralph Fiennes had been offered one (a different part than Bardem, reportedly).   This is of course assuming that MGM has their sh*t together enough to actually make a movie, which seems anything but certain at this point.  I’ll tell you this, though, I will tongue kiss an old man’s balls before I ever pronounce Ralph Fiennes’ name “Rafe.”  Rafe?  Your name’s Ralph, dude.

Fonzi’s kid directed a movie:

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As EW reports, Jonah Hill and friends presented a script to the major studios yesterday.

Hill and writing partners Max Winkler [The Fonz's kid] and Matthew Spicer turned over a super-secret script that only Hollywood’s top studio heads were allowed to read. The high-profile spec is called The Adventurer’s Handbook and centers on four 20-something guys who, inspired by a book of the same name, set out overseas in search of a mysterious location described in the book. The script was sent over on red, watermarked paper so it couldn’t be photocopied. Multiple studios were interested in the project described as an edgy, broad comedy. [E.W.]

Today, Variety reports that Universal bought the script for seven figures, with Lonely Islander Akiva Schaffer in negotiations to direct and Jonah Hill and Jason Schwartzman (Rushmore) on to star.  Look, I have a ton of respect for anyone who sells a spec script, but let me explain how this worked: NO ONE READ IT.  Two days? Not a f-cking chance.  At best, someone’s assistant skimmed it and then explained it to the people with the cash.  I’m not saying it’s going to be shitty, but I have a term I’d like to introduce for a movie that ends up sucking because people bought the pitch without reading the script: “Turd of Mouth”.