"Yo I ain't know what I be told, but werkin' and twerkin' ain't gettin old."

For months now, we’ve been patiently waiting and occasionally break dancing to get a glimpse of the upcoming Steven Soderbergh film, Magic Mike. We know, of course, that Magic Mike is the brain child of Channing Tatum, as the story of a male stripper who has the world at his finger tips was loosely based on his own experiences as an exotic dancer before he got caught up in this Hollyweird game.

Finally, late last night, the first trailer was released for Magic Mike, and I know it’s a little early, but let’s get the Source Awards on line 1, please. C-Tates plays Mike, the most popular stripper in the game (although Tatum is from Alabama, so I imagine that wasn’t a hard game to win), and he takes noob dick-shaker Alex Pettyfer under his oiled wings, in the same main vein as his mentor Matthew McConaughey – in what looks like the highest performance of his career.

Ultimately, this is a tale of a man looking for something more, and he is inspired by the one woman who wants him to shake his junk in her face not for money, but for love. So he has to choose between a life of endless rich, white, 20-something women begging him for sex – which is obviously a dead-on portrayal of the male stripper life – or creating his own coffee tables and settling down. It really is the classic American love story.

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"Yo I ain't know what I be told, but werkin' and twerkin' ain't gettin old."

My good friend C-Tates emailed me to ask if he could introduce two new pictures that have been released from his upcoming film, Magic Mike, which is directed by Steven Soderbergh and is based on Channing Tatum’s early years as a male stripper.

Yo girl, mark yo calendars now, cuz me n Matty M.C. Conaughey, Alex Tom Pettyfer and dat fine ass trick Olivia Newton Munn be comin’ 2 yo big screen on June 29 wit Steven Sodapops directin’ dat sh*t all like, “YO BITCHES LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION LIKE A MUTHA F*CKA!” Mad Oscar sh*t, yo.

Anyweird, yo we gots deez new pics from Magic Mike, and dis ain’t no Crissy Angel magic show, right? Dis sh*ts about male strippers, son. IT’S AN ART FORM, WHAT! An dis sh*t is bouty bouty my life, son, how I came from shakin’ my meat to make da chickenz feel heat all da way to tappin’ dat Mila Kunis ass on da SS Enterthighs. C-TATES! WHAT! Respek.

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When I first heard Steven Soderbergh was making a movie based on the real-life story of Channing Tatum’s experiences as a 19-year-old male stripper, I tore off the warm-up pants I was wearing and helicoptered my wiener in excitement, which must’ve been a real treat for the other coffee shop patrons. The film is called Magic Mike, and it just released the first still, starring, from left, Joe Manganiello (this is my favorite picture of him), Alex Pettyfer aka Alex Pretty Fur, Matthew McConaughey, and Channing Tatum. Yes, Matthew McConaughey is actually in the movie, though it’s perfectly believable that he just happened to be dressed like that and wandered through the set on his way to a bongo circle.

Here’s the official synopsis (Soderbergh previously said he was using Saturday Night Fever as a model):

MAGIC MIKE
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Writer: Reid Carolin
Producers: Nick Wechsler, Gregory Jacobs, Channing Tatum, Reid Carolin

Cast: Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer, Joe Mangianello, Olivia Munn, Riley Keough, Cody Horn, Adam Rodriguez

Dramatic Comedy. Set in the world of male strippers, “Magic Mike” is directed by Steven Soderbergh and stars Channing Tatum (“Dear John,” “Step Up”) in a story inspired by his real life. The film follows Mike (Tatum) as he takes a young dancer called The Kid (Pettyfer) under his wing and schools him in the fine arts of partying, picking up women, and making easy money. [via Collider]

Damn, that sounds exactly how I mentored Burnsy as an Uproxx blogger. I expect this to be not only entertaining, but life affirming. YO TELL YOUR MOMS TO MAKE IT RAIN HUNDOS, SON, HOO! HOO!

It opens June 29, 2012, the same day as that other C-Tates joint, GI Joe 2. AW, SH*T, SON, EVERYTHING’S COMIN’ UP C-TATES, SKEET SKEET.

Steven Soderbergh’s stable of stallions for Magic Mike is expanding once again, as WWE superstar Kevin Nash has joined Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey, and Matthew Bomer for one of the bulge-shakingest movies in history. But if you’re like me, you’ve yelled, “Enough with the casting news already, when am I going to get some man meat in my grill!” Well the gods have answered, friends, and Celebuzz has come to the rescue with new set photos of Tatum and Pettyfer preparing for action.

But as you can see above, the response indicates that there is clearly some confusion regarding who the hardest twerkin’ playboy in hoe bizzna$$ is. I mean, from where I’m sitting, it looks like people voted that Pettyfer is doper than C-Tates, but that can’t be, because ain’t nobody doper than C-Tates. He’s dope like the pope using soap on a rope, or so he’s told me.

Judge for yourself, and for best results play this video in another window.

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Don't worry, y'all. I found this T cell.

Professional shirtless bongo player Matthew McConaughey is the latest Hollywood leading man attached to Dallas Buyer’s Club, a drama centering around a protagonist with AIDS. Make me a batch of frownies, LA Times:

The movie tells of Ron Woodroof, a heterosexual Dallas electrician who was diagnosed with AIDS in 1986, during some of the darkest days of the disease. Doctors gave him just a few months to live, but he refused to accept their prognosis. Instead, Woodroof created a smuggling operation for alternative treatments, then illegal, and got them into the hands of as many AIDS patients as he could. He wound up living six more years and saved or prolonged the lives of countless others.

Jesus, that guy sounds awesome. He was dying of AIDS and was STILL smuggling illegal drugs across the border and getting them to other patients like some sort of modern day, sickly Robin Hood? Yeesh. In a related story, one time I wrote a paper when I had a sinus infection. WHERE’S MY BIOPIC, TINSELTOWN?!

Here’s my favorite part about this movie: Someone somewhere thinks it’s plausible for Matthew McConaughey to play an AIDS patient. The six-foot tall, bronze Adonis with the flowing hair and perfect pecs. As an AIDS patient. Riiiiiiiiight. In the history of civilization, no one has ever looked less like an AIDS patient than Matthew McConaughey. There had to be other actors considered, right?

In 2008, the project seemed to get new life when reports had Ryan Gosling coming on to star, with his “Lars & the Real Girl” director, Craig Gillespie, behind the camera.

“Hey girl, I only got into smuggling because I thought they said ‘snuggling.’”

via Screen Junkies