(“I want a sandwich this big.”)

Guillermo Del Toro is so busy collecting paychecks from ten different projects that I can hardly keep track.  According to IMDB, he currently has eight projects in development, seven that he produced currently in post production, plus writing and directing two Hobbit movies, not to mention that vampire book he co-wrote for some reason.  He’s so busy that now he’s handing off projects to his ‘proteges,’ like this remake of Don’t be Afraid of the Dark, which is good because I’m sure the public absolutely couldn’t wait for this gem.

Guy Pearce is in final negotiations and Bailee Madison is set to star with Katie Holmes in “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark,” Miramax’s supernatural thriller being directed by Guillermo del Toro protege Troy Nixey.  “Dark” is based on a 1973 ABC telefilm about a young girl who moves in with her father and his girlfriend and discovers they are sharing the house with demonic creatures.  Del Toro and Matthew Robbins wrote the script. [THR]

Yep, a TV movie about a haunted house.  Does anyone remember that or care besides Guillermo Del Toro?  It doesn’t matter, he liked it and now he gets to remake it.  Welcome to the era of cinematic karaoke.

We know from this interview that Matthew Fox from Lost is already great at being able to laugh at himself, and now it looks like he’s going to get some more practice. Today it’s being reported that he’s set to star in the totally not gay-sounding Warner Bros project, Billy Smoke.

The story centers on an elite hit man who’s nearly killed during a botched job and realizes that his only way to find redemption is to rid the world of all assassins.

The comicbook series, written by B. Clay Moore and illustrated by Eric Kim, will be published by Oni Press next year.

That’s right, another comicbook has been greenlit before it’s even been published.  And with a name like Billy Smoke, I’m guessing he somehow rids the world of assassins through elaborate song and dance numbers.  Or maybe he’s a tobacco ad from the 30s.  In either case, I see myself not caring.

^{WATCH THE MATTHEW FOX INTERVIEW AFTER THE JUMP} 

I didn’t remember this, but apparently in Knocked Up there’s a part where Katherine Heigl is supposed to go interview Matthew Fox from Lost and Seth Rogen says, "Hey, you know what’s interesting about him?  Nothing." Anyway, some dude over at MTV interviewed Fox recently and decided to make things really awkward by asking him about it, and Fox went out of his way to say he hadn’t seen the movie and had no interest in it.

“Those types of movies are not, like, my deal.” 
"Totally oblivious to it, haven’t seen the movie, it’s not my cup of tea, duuude."

Asked what kind of movies were his cup of tea, Fox said, "I like, you know, Fellini and Bresson and, like, other old filmmakers I’ve heard smart people talk about.  That one foreigner, he’s my favorite."  Poor lil’ guy, it was a cheap shot, I know.  Does your widdow vagina hurt?  Come here and let daddy kiss it and make it better.  Wait, no, that came out wrong.  …I’m going to be a horrible father.