In Armored, director Nimrod Antal takes us into the fast stakes, high paced world of the armored car guard, which apparently operates like a fraternity for grown-ups, much like the fire department or the cast of Stomp.  But hold on to your girdle, grandma, because before you know it, there’s a heist plot.  In a movie about armored cars?  No effing way!  Of course, things don’t quite go according to plan, because if they did it’d be an instructional video not a movie.  Instead, the sh’t hits the fan Very Bad Things-style, and that sucks because no one likes a sh’t-covered fan, least of all MATT DILLON.  Trust me on this one, bros.

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Armored stars Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, and Step Brother Stomp the Yard actor Columbus Short as a team of armored car guards.  It comes from awesomely named director Nimrod Antal, the man behind the kooky Hungarian subway guard movie Kontroll.  The trailer isn’t exactly interesting, but it has more reversals than I think I’ve ever seen.  OMG, they’re getting robbed!  …Psych! No they’re not, they’re good guys. …Psyche! No they’re not, they’re gonna rob their own armored car!  But no one will get hurt.  …Psyche!  Yes they will!  But Columbus and Matt are on the same side. …Psyche! No they’re not!  Psyche!  But maybe they are!  Or not!  Psyche!  Haha, this movie got you good, you f*ckers.

Francis Ford Coppola’s personal laptop was stolen in a robbery at his production office in Buenos Aires.  The laptop contained drafts of his upcoming film Tetro, which will star Matt Dillon.  Reps for Coppola say the screenplay was saved in other places.

Reps for the thieves say they were only trying to help.  They call themselves freedom fighters, and say that if Coppola releases another film like Jack, it may ruin the Godfather movies and Apocalypse Now for them forever.  They say they did it because they’re sick and tired of having to see movies with Nic Cage in them, just because he’s related to Francis.  They say they wished Sofia was present so they could shoot her in the face kidnap her and keep her from making movies.  They say her movies are tedious exercises in nothing and that she needs to learn something about life before she wastes everyone’s time again.  Yes, they said all of this.