You nerds can keep your Trons and your gay comic book movies about promise rings from space, True Grit is the movie I’m excited for (trailer here).  The Coen Brothers remake adaptation of the Charles Portis book just released a new batch of posters, and… (*puts on reading glasses, pulls a dusty leather-bound volume off the shelf, searches inside for the right passage*) …according to my research, it still looks badass.

It opens Christmas, and I know, I know, so far all we’ve really seen is cowboy costumes and Jeff Bridges with a dirty face and a Larry Flynt accent.  But if you need more than that to be excited about this, I don’t know what to tell you.

[via IMDB]
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Now I realize this is going to sound farfetched, but apparently there’s more than just a few ways to burn through a large amount of money very quickly: purchasing excess amounts of black tar heroin, investing poorly in a sh**ty rapper’s vodka company, cramming all that money up a body cavity -or, if you happen to reside in Hollywood, you can always just grossly overpay the star of your next big (supposed) blockbuster. Yeah, that’s also a great way to get rid of a bunch of cash -but just how much money constitutes a bunch? Well, in an apparent attempt to answer that question (and inspire mass suicides everywhere) Forbes just released their 2010 list of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors. You know, just to really help put into perspective how truly underpaid you are at your day job. And just to lay any rumors to rest, neither Nic Cage or Billy Zane made the list this year, sorry.

To formulate their list, Forbes first started with the 36 highest-earning actors from Hollywood. To qualify, during the past five years, each actor would have to have starred in, at least, three films that opened in more than 500 theaters. After this initial categorization, they then began to factor in various other details like penis length and bench press ability.

We used data gathered for our annual Celebrity 100 list to calculate each star’s estimated earnings on each film (including up-front pay and any earnings from the movie’s box-office receipts, DVD and TV sales). We then looked at each movie’s estimated budget [...] and box-office, DVD and television earnings to figure out an operating income for each film.

We added up each star’s compensation on his or her last three films and the operating income on those films, an divided total operating income by the star’s total compensation to come up with a return-on-investment number. The final number represents an average of how much a studio earns for every dollar paid.

Forbes fails to mention how many interns bludgeoned themselves to death with graphing calculators, during the research, but I can only assume the final count was north of ten.

Top 10 Overpaid Actors after the cut.

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It wasn’t too long ago that the Coen Brothers’ True Grit teaser hit, and now that the full-length trailer is here, I don’t have much to say other than what I’ve already said. i.e., if you don’t want to see The Dude as a an eyepatch-wearing drunk shooting two pistols at people, I don’t what to tell you, other than that you’re a communist.  I’d rather limit today’s discussion to “OMG, OMG, THERE’S A BEAR ON A HORSE!”  (*flails arms above head, runs about the room*)

Also, I made you guys something VERY SPECIAL:

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If you saw the trailer for the Coen Brothers’ True Grit, you probably saw Jeff Bridges wearing an eye patch, firing pistols on horseback and thought, “Hot damn, has there ever been a single image that could sell an entire movie as easily as this one?”  Unless you were the actual Coen Brothers, in which case you thought, “F*ck you, we’re the Coen Brothers.  Our poster is going to have text.  You still gonna see it?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  P*ssy.”

I’ve heard that on the set of their movies, instead of golf carts, the Coen Brothers just stomp around everywhere like the Bushwhackers.  True story.

[via InContention]

I know it’s a total cliché for a person who writes about movies for a living to love the Coen Brothers, but some clichés exist because they’re true.  The Coen Brothers are just really godd*mn amazing.  This is the trailer for True Grit (an closer adaptation of the Charles Portis novel, not a remake of the John Wayne movie, in case some punk at the local tavern starts talking crap to you about it), starring Jeff Bridges as a drunken old Sheriff named Rooster Cogburn who helps a 14-year-old girl hunt down her father’s killer.  It’s also got Matt Damon, Barry Pepper, and Josh Brolin, and little kids singin’ old-timey songs a lá O Brother Where Art Thou.  In fact, this children’s choir makes the children’s choir in the Social Network trailer look like two retarded kids playing snot kazoos.  If you’re not excited about this movie, you are communist and I hate you.

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