Sharlto Copley whimpering to himself softly as he eats cat food because he’s turning into an alien in District 9 was one of my favorite scenes in a sci-fi movie of the last 10 years, so it’s with obvious anticipation that I view the trailer for Elysium, South African writer/director Neill Blomkamp’s follow-up effort. This one stars Matt Damon, who recently wore a speedo and bought a zoo, not necessarily in that order. It opens August 9th.

The two slightly different synopses:

The impoverished inhabitants of a ruined planet Earth fight to join the safe and pristine living conditions of the space station Elysium, where only the wealthy reside. One resident of the planet’s slums must get to get to the space station and kidnaps someone in order to do so.

Set in the year 2159, where the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth, a man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds.

One of the things I liked so much about District 9 was that it sort of started like a parable, and then at a certain point got carried away exploring the world it had created for itself, mostly abandoned the parable, and became this slightly absurdist tall tale. You see that structure all the time in South Park episodes, or in the part of Life of Pi where Pi washes up on the carnivorous meerkat island. That’s my jam. You never know what’s going to happen. I can see hints at the same thing with Elysium, where it starts off as this possibly allegorical story about the people of Elysium being willing to do monstrous things to maintain their perfect lifestyles, as a parallel for capitalism or imperialism and whatnot, and then maybe it totally goes off the rails into a crazy action movie with the kidnap plot. Looks promising, is what I’m saying. Plus it has a dub-steppy braaahm soundtrack, which you hardly ever see in epic sci-fi trailers these days. BRAAAAAHM. BRAAAAAAHM. WUB WUB WUB…

But I swear to God, if Jodie Foster’s character says anything about “minimizing risk” I’m walking out.

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Mother of God, is that a Hawaiian shirt made out of peacock feathers? WANT.

It may seem like we’ve seen a lot of trailers for Steven Soderbergh’s Liberace movie lately, but one of those was actually The Great Gatsby trailer. In any case, today brings the longest trailer yet for Behind the Candelabra, which premieres May 26th, starring Michael Douglas as Liberace and Matt Damon as his lovaah Scott Thorsen (please, no lisp jokes). Soderbergh has been on a roll after Magic Mike and Side Effects, so I’d love to see him prove all the studios who thought it was “too gay” – this in a world where Glee enjoys wild popularity and the Disney Channel styles all of its stars like fastidious homosexuals – wrong.

But I dunno, man. First Jeremy Irons says I have to gay marry my dad, and now the guy from Basic Instinct has to play the gayest man in the world? Thanks a lot, Obama.

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Steven Soderbergh’s film, Behind the Candelabra, starring Matt Damon and Michael Douglas, is set to hit HBO this Spring, and according to Soderbergh, speaking at the Television Critics Association press tour over the weekend, the only reason it’s not getting a theatrical release is that every studio in town told him it was “too gay.” This despite it costing only $5 million to make, having a name director, and starring Matt Damon and Michael Douglas. (*spits out coffee*) Hold on, Liberace is GAY?!

“Nobody would make it. We went to everybody in town,” the “Traffic” and “Ocean’s 11″ director told TheWrap on Friday, at the Television Critics Association winter press tour. “We needed $5 million. Nobody would do it.”

“They said it was too gay. Everybody. This was after ‘Brokeback Mountain,’ by the way. Which is not as funny as this movie. I was stunned. It made no sense to any of us.”

“They’re great and they’re really good at what they do, and ultimately I think more people will see it, and that’s all you care about,” Soderbergh said. “Studios were going, ‘We don’t know how to sell it. They were scared.’” [Yahoo/TheWrap]

Considering all the gay stuff studios release – Milk, Brokeback, Pitch Perfect, Fast and Furious – and how hot gay-themed projects are generally considered to be these days, you wonder if “they said it was too gay!” is just a convenient excuse for a movie that had bigger problems, not to mention a great way to curry sympathy. But Steven Soderbergh seems like a pretty straight shooter, so if he says it, I believe him. Plus it’s hard to be surprised by stories of business execs doing something shortsighted anymore. It’s just weird that the American public could be almost universally obsessed with super gay stuff – find me a network show that isn’t about singing and/or dancing, for instance – but only if the gayness isn’t spoken outright, like this, or I Love You Philip Morris (which had similar problems). You can crowbar some gay stereotypes into every sitcom after Modern Family, but God forbid you try to depict an actual gay relationship.

Incidentally, “too gay for theater” was the meanest thing my guidance counselor ever told me.

Gay? These guys?

“So I says to the guy, I says, Lemme check your oil!”

Opening Everywhere: Promised Land

Already Opened Everywhere: Django Unchained, Les Misérables, Parental Guidance

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince, of course, loved Django Unchained so much that he gave it his “Best Movie of the Year” honor over Magic Mike, which is a joke, because there wasn’t a better movie made than Magic Mike in 2012. Seriously, go watch every movie that was made this year and tell me if any of them were better than Magic Mike. I’ll wait. It’s this or work.

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Oh, daaahling, how nice of you to drop by. JEEVES! Get our guest some trinkets.

Here we have Michael Douglas and Matt Damon on the set of Behind the Candelabra, a story about Liberace (Douglas) and his lover, Scott Thorsen (Damon), rumored to be Steven Soderbergh’s last movie before he retires. According to LeMonde (via ThePlaylist), Soderbergh’s hoping to finish in time to screen it at Cannes. Soderbergh’s Haywire, a movie about a hot chick who beats people up, mostly kind of sucked (except for one scene), and Magic Mike, a movie about male strippers who wave their wieners at people, ended up being the best movie of the summer. So assuming gayness of subject matter has a positive correlation with how good a Steven Soderbergh movie is, I have high hopes for this one.

I don’t know much about fashion, but to me it looks like they’re about to go ref a joust tournament. It’s funny to me that back in the days when it wasn’t okay to be gay, rich gay guys dressed like medieval court jesters and people just thought they were “eccentric.”

Oh, I thought the picture needed something:

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