Missing our old pal Oliver? Well check out his latest mash-up, Cinema’s Worst Moms, from HuffPo. I was looking for your mom in here, but I guess German sh*t porn doesn’t count as “cinema.” Well la di da, Oliver.

MORNING LINKS
Burnsy gets an excerpt from the script for Channing Tatum’s “White House Down.” Yes, this is real movie. |Film Drunk|

Ranking Fox’s New Fall Shows From Best to Worst, Based on Their Preview Clips |Warming Glow|

That’s certainly another use for it [via fckyeahdementia]

Here’s The Beastie Boys’ Sabotage Video Reenacted With Children |UPROXX|

10 Amazing Predictions For This Week In Sports |With Leather|

Spider-Man Just Can’t Keep His Mask On During Four Minutes Of ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ |Gamma Squad|

Bertney’s Gon’ Be On TV, Y’All! And She Done Brought Her Britches |TheSuperficial|

Check out an excerpt from Justin Halpern’s new book and then go buy that book.

Here’s some pics of Kate Upton |IDLYITW|

Patton Oswalt Tries To Find First “First” Commenter |Buzzfeed|

Tiny Today Show Genius Has To Poop, NOW |Videogum|

The 17 Best Comedian Commencement Speeches |HuffPost Comedy|

10 best time travel movies of all timelines |Fark|

12 Really Forced Portmanteaux That Didn’t Catch On |Mentalfloss|

Identifying the Exact Moment 10 Current TV Shows Should’ve Ended their Runs |Pajiba|

Life-Altering Undergarment of the Day |TheDailyWhat|

NBC To Launch A Show About Pirates Because What’s The Point Anymore? |ScreenJunkies|

Five Movies I Didn’t Plan to Love |Unreality|

Dude Drinks Entire Bottle of Jagermeister in 30 Seconds, Promptly Eats Toilet Paper to Avoid Puking |Brobible|

R. Kelly And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, 75-Second Concert |High Definite|

FOLLOW Vince on Twitter. FAN US on Facebook.

Okay, that does NOT look like a stage slap.

You may remember Jeff Smith from previous Supercuts such as “You Just Don’t Get It, Do You!” and Glove Actually part one, but it’s fine if you don’t, because he’s back with a new one, Glove, Actually 2: Glove Harder – More of Cinema’s Greatest Slaps.” It’s a full NINE MINUTES OF SLAPS. If that doesn’t sound entertaining to you, you’ve never seen someone get slapped, there are truly few things as entertaining. And before you ask, yes, it does feature Sean Connery slapping a woman (on the ass). Oh, and Ronald Reagan too (in the face). It’s too bad Reagan’s dead and Connery’s retired. I’d give anything to see them team up to save the Earth from an army of hysterical women, using only the righteous palms of patriarchy.

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Oh, can Van Damme do the splits? I hadn't heard.

Sometimes, you hear an idea for a Supercut and you just know it’s going to be good. For instance, “Kickboxer: Just the Kicking.” There’s no way that could not be good. After the jump I’ve got just such a super cut, and I’m willing to bet that it’s even better than you imagine. It’s mesmerizing. You’ll start watching and think to yourself, “Oh my goodness, this movie has an incredible abundance of kicking.” And that’s when it will hit you: OH MY GOD, I HAVEN’T EVEN MADE IT THROUGH A THIRD OF THE KICKING! That’s how much kicking this video has. If kicking was bricks, this video would be the pyramids.

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Incredibly, I’ve yet to get tired of the supercut as an internet art form. This latest, from NextMovie, “Fix Edukation Now,” is actually pretty clever. It combines all of cinematic students’ most idiotic answers to basic classroom questions (that they could think of). Easily my favorite clip is the one from Dangerous Minds where Michelle Pfeiffer tells her class “Today we’re going to conjugate some verbs.” To which a Mexican kid with a ponytail replies, “Hey! What about karate?”

I want to drive to the screenwriter’s house and high five him right now because that is awesome. I demand this become a meme somehow.

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[via TheAVClub]

MORNING LINKS
Adam Sandler is remaking Summer School? Well sunglass my dog. |Film Drunk|

Comedy in San Francisco this Saturday. Featuring me! |GlobeTrotting|

Louis C.K. Explains Why He Decided Not To Host The Radio & TV Correspondents Dinner |UPROXX|

Ah-Mah-Zing: The 80 Greatest GIFs from ‘Happy Endings’ |Warming Glow|

Nike Set To Take The Field With New NFL Uniforms, Sideline Apparel |Smoking Section|

The With Leather Photo Tour Of Marlins Park |With Leather|

8 Geeky Pulp Novel Covers By Tony Fleecs |Gamma Squad|

Zooey Deschanel And Her Mom Could Be Twins |Buzzfeed|

19 Cartoon Characters IRL |HuffPost Comedy|

‘Kazaam’: Shaquille O’Neal Explains Why He Did 1996 Genie Movie |Moviefone|

Oh lookie, it’s Lara Flynn B..OMGWTF??? |Fark|

Is science close to curing baldness? |ModernMan|

All Your Favorite TV Ladies Hop Into Bed Together … And Lady Mary’s There Too |Pajiba|

Five Great Performances (Given by Puppets) |Unreality|

The Best Falling Finish to a Track Race Ever |Brobible|

A Pie Chart of Pies |High Definite|

7 Movie Characters Who Snapped |ScreenJunkies|

17 Offbeat Holidays You Can Celebrate in April |Mentalfloss|

Ashton Kutcher Can’t Stop Pissing People Off |TheSuperficial|

A Skip Down Memory Lane With “The Skipper” |Videogum|

‘Rear Window’ Timelapse |TheDailyWhat|

A Breakdown of Vince Neil’s Commercial for His New Las Vegas Strip Club |HolyTaco|

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