Baby don't hurt us.

While I sit here waiting for someone to finally give me the ultimate mashup of movie characters making fart noises, I suppose I can settle for today’s best effort of some of Hollywood’s hunkiest A-list male actors saying, “I love you.” There are also some people in this that have no business having ever been cast as a romantic lead *pauses screen, gives middle finger to Josh Radnor* but this post is all about what you ladies want today (or until the next post).

So why don’t you draw yourself a nice, hot bubble bath, pop a bottle of bubbly, strap on a blindfold, lay back and pretend like Matt Damon, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Colin Firth, Ben Affleck, Shia LeBeouf, Brad Pitt, Zac Efron, Leo DiCaprio, Robert Pattinson, that guy from Scrubs and Paul Rudd are saying those awesome three little words to you. Also, while you’re blondfolded, I’m going to steal your TV.

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I thought we’d pretty much run the gauntlet of movie mash-ups like “Sh*t People of Certain Race/Gender/Religion/Industry Say”, so when I came across the mash-up of movie middle fingers yesterday, I thought for sure it had already been done. But even if it has, screw it. It’s wonderful. It could just be Mr. Bean waving his middle finger at every passing car and I’d be content enough to watch it all day. Man, I sure do love the middle finger.

My brain isn’t working very well today, so I can’t think of any glaring omissions. My first thought was, “This mash-up better have Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys“, because when I first watched that movie in high school, I walked around nonchalantly flipping my middle fingers like his character for weeks. Damn, now I’m going to have to watch that again just for nostalgia.

Other than that, this mash-up gets a solid A. It’s not too long, not too short. Cee Lo Green’s “F*ck You” is appropriate and fun. That is until the SOPA police kick down my door and tickle my cavities with their middle fingers. Until then, enjoy.

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I got sent a lot of mash-ups and holiday-themed videos this week, but this one was the only one that inspired me to post it. That has to count for something, right? It’s just that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie of all time, and this mash-up (“Die Hard, Interrupted”), from RigorTortoiseComedy, took a novel approach. And it’s hard to go wrong with Hans Gruber, I always say.

Join me after the jump for some additional Die Hard trivia.

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I don’t know about you, but I remember watching The Matrix for the first time and thinking, “This is OK, but I sure wish there was a way to make it more like a bar mitzvah.” Well thanks to the neverending creative juices of the internet, the inevitable has happened. Someone mashed up the lobby fight scene in The Matrix with Lou Bega’s classic hit, “Mambo No. 5.”

It’s not the most inspired mashup that I’ve ever seen, but I like the idea. I think that more classic movies should be re-dubbed with the worst songs of the 90s. Maybe The English Patient with Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” or Precious with Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” The possibilities are endless. I expect more from you, anonymous Internet people.

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I loved Drive, but I’d be the first to admit that it was a good 90 percent mood. Who wouldn’t want to watch Ryan Gosling drive around when it’s set to mellow synth pop and pink script titles like Grand Theft Auto? What this video presupposes is, what if that music had been Tom Cochrane’s 1991 hit “Life is a Highway” and that crappy club song they play every seven minutes in Vegas? It’s a mash-up as simple as it is effective — in fact it kind of bugs me that I enjoy this so much. My one criticism is that they should’ve redone the titles in Comic Sans. Comic Sans is the Smash Mouth of fonts.

[FunnyorDie]