This is the trailer for Red, from Summit Entertainment.  It’s based on a comic book and I didn’t cover it much, because during production, it sounded like the most generic action movie ever:

Red is the story of Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), a former black-ops CIA agent, who is now living a quiet life. That is, until the day a hi-tech assassin shows up intent on killing him. With his identity compromised and the life of the woman he cares for, Sarah (Mary Louise Parker), endangered, Frank reassembles his old team (Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren) in a last ditch effort to survive.

So basically Watchmen meets A-Team meets Bourne meets Killers/Knight and Day/Mrs. Smith.  The premise couldn’t possibly squeeze in more overused plot gimmicks, short of adding vampires.  There’s also the matter of the director, Robert Schwenke having previously done Flightplan and The Time Traveler’s Wife.  And yet, dare I say it, it actually looks fun.  I guess casting Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Mary Louise Parker, and Morgan Freeman goes a long way.  It also helps that Bruce Willis never tells Helen Mirren to count to three, only to have her ignore him and flail screaming into a hail of bullets like a retard.  GET IT?  IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE GIRLS ARE STUPID!  I’ll take this over Knight and Day any day.  Or knight.

I know the man-child thing is all the rage these days, especially for the vocationally pantless like me,  but I’ll be honest, it feels good to be excited about a trailer that doesn’t feature people in spandex shooting guns for once.  This one’s called A Solitary Man, featuring a cast of chicks nerds want to bang of all ages (Jenna Fischer, Mary Louise-Parker, Olivia Thirlby), not to mention Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito, Susan Sarandon, and Jesse Eisenberg, with direction by the guys who wrote Rounders.  Excited yet?  Here, try this cocaine.

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Weeds is a pretty solid show (otherwise it wouldn’t warrant mention on a movie blog) and I’ve always been strangely attracted to the lead, Mary-Louise Parker.  I say strangely because she’s not super attractive in the conventional sense, but she has pale skin and huge dark pupils that make her look all vulnerable, like a helpless baby deer that I should nurse back to health.  With my dick.   Anyway, the show’s been sort of going downhill this season, so to spice things up she’s been getting naked. And here’s a picture of her naked.  Hooray!