You just know C-Tates would weasel his way into this somehow.

It’s almost every day that someone files a plagiarism lawsuit against a high-profile film or filmmaker, way too many for me to cover them all, and they usually come to nothing. A town full of derivative ideas just naturally breeds that sort of thing. It’s like someone saying Jay Leno stole their joke — there’s a difference between “stolen” and “hacky.” But bear with me, this one’s more enjoyable than the usual frivolous-lawsuit-from-an-insane-person story.

Jamie Foxx and Tyler Perry are being sued for $1 million each by a prisoner — who claims the duo jacked his idea for a groan-worthy new comedy … starring Foxx, Perry, and Martin Lawrence … all dressed as women.
In case you haven’t heard … the project is called “Skank Robbers” — a wacky action comedy about two lady bank robbers … with Lawrence’s Sheneneh character from “Martin,” Foxx’s Wanda from “In Living Color,” and according to reports … Tyler Perry’s Madea … from every bad movie you’ve seen. The project is reportedly in development.

The project is in development, and I’ve covered it here before (its proposed August 2011 release date came and went, but according to the DailyMail, it had begun shooting), but this is the first I’ve ever heard of Tyler Perry being involved. I think the prisoner just made that part up. And here’s where it gets good…

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Big Mommas (NO APOSTROPHE, IT’S PLURAL THIS TIME!): Like Father Like Son is currently drawing an impressive 0% rating on RottenTomatoes.   As a sidenote, the other day TheFilmStage discovered that Martin Lawrence hadn’t had a “Fresh” movie on RottenTomatoes in 21 years.  The last one to get above 50% was House Party in 1990.  Two surprising things about that: (1) Martin Lawrence was in House Party. (2) House Party was 95% recommended on RottenTomatoes.  Seriously.  House Party.

I digress, but my assumption was that because it was so universally reviled, Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son would make a great candidate for our plot-recreated-using-expository-review-quotes game.  Two problems arose: First, the movie didn’t screen for critics in most places (oh God please let Armond White review it eventually), and second, it soon became clear that nothing at all interesting happened in this movie. Nonetheless, thanks to a herculean, borderline miraculous effort on my part, I was able to pull two amazing quotes.

“Faizon Love is the roly poly maintenance man with an eye for Big Momma’s big thighs.” -Orlando Sentinel

Faizon Love apparently chose to go uncredited in the part of “Kurtis Kool*,” but anyone who so much as saw the poster knew Faizon Love had to be in there.  Anything else would be grounds for a refund.  And finally, probably my favorite quote of any review ever, which comes to us by way of The Hollywood Reporter.

“The moral here is if you slap a dress on a guy, they will come.”

Wow.  This suddenly sounds pretty ground breaking for a mainstream film.

*I don’t want to get racial here, but isn’t naming a black guy “Kurtis Kool” basically like naming an Italian guy Guiseppe Pizzapie?

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Finally we have the trailer for the most anticipated film of the year, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son.  Critics are already calling it the least Tyler Perry fat suit comedy of the year.  It’s actually the third Big Momma’s House movie, but they couldn’t very well call it Big Momma’s House 3 and have people thinking it’s just some cheap retread of the first two movies, now could they.  It stars Brandon T. Jackson (Alpa Chino from Tropic Thunder) as Martin Lawrence’s son, who (*RECORD SCRATCH*), has to go undercover as a fat lady for some reason.  Judging by the two nutshots in the trailer, this might be the zaniest movie of the year.  Wait, did I say TWO NUTSHOTS IN THE TRAILER zany?  I did, friends.  I did indeed.

Oh, Faizon Love, you complete me, you big teddy bear.

Martin Lawrence and Jamie Foxx dusted off their characters Sheneneh and Wanda for a bit at the BET Awards a while back (video after the jump), and people seemed to like it.  Since movie execs are braying jackasses who would try to make a movie out of literally anything people enjoy these days (CHEESE PLATE! IN 3D!), Screen Gems hired Foxx to write an entire movie around it.  (TWO MEN! DRESSED AS WOMEN! BOTH UGLY!  IT WRITES ITSELF! FETCH MY COCAINE!)  Today’s news is that it now has (ulp) a distributor and a release date.  Says Production Weekly:

Sony gives the Jamie Foxx (Wanda) & Martin Lawrence (Sheneneh) comedy “Skank Robbers“ an Aug. 19, 2011 release date.

What do you think, is this a better or worse idea than a Les Grossman movie?  I guess that’s kind of like asking what flavor of popsicle I’d rather have shoved up my ass.  As much as he seems like a total d-bag, you have to give Jamie Foxx credit for being talented, but Martin Lawrence has never been funny.  He’s like a black Carlos Mencia, whose obvious, unfunny observations are not improved by his shouting.  Anyway, I think they should team up Sheneneh and Wanda with Les Grossman, Madea, and Eddie Murphy’s last three fat suits for one super-fat, super-cross-dressing, super-group movie.  It would be like The Avengers for f*cking morons.

Related: Who finds cross-dressing funnier, black people or British people?

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Fox takes a novel approach to picking projects: they lay hundreds of scripts on the ground and have the CEO put his forehead on a bat and spin around until he’s dizzy, and then try to run to the far end.  Whichever script he trips over, that’s the movie they make, and everyone barks like seals.

Martin Lawrence is returning to his signature comedy [!] franchise ‘Big Momma’s House,” and will be joined by Brandon T. Jackson [at least it's not Nick Cannon].  In the latest adventure, FBI Agent Malcolm Turner and his 17-year-old nephew, Trent, go undercover at an all-girls performing arts school after Trent witnesses a murder.  Posing as Big Momma and Charmaine, they must find the murderer before he finds them.  Insiders say the filmmakers don’t want the threequel to be titled “Big Momma’s House 3.” [Variety]

I like how Variety uses threequel as if it’s a real word. Anyway, I’m pretty sure I can predict how this will go down: Martin Lawrence slips on a banana peel and breaks his high heel.  As he tries to hide the run in his pantyhose, he turns to Brandon T. Jackson in drag and says, “I’m too old for this sh-t.”  Enter the WB frog, they all soft shoe out of frame, aaaand scene.